She Had An In Your Face Awakening

getting into the mind of a girl gaining strength

In your own whirlwind of emotions 

you don’t see me 

and that’s okay because I am big and strong 

with a leather exterior strong enough to brave the strongest wind.

The other day when you shut me out to keep yourself in 

I had to brave the cold alone - alone.

Lucky for me I was wearing the big fluffy jacket that 

keeps the light on my inside warm and glowing. 

I’m here, you know I am, 

yet you are blind to me. 

Life buzzes all around you, I am part of that life in motion picture, 

I’m supposed to be the muse - how is it you play blind to me?

Is this act deliberate or you are just emotionally dumb.

Who is the smart one here?

You for always getting what you want? 

Or me, pleading, trying desperately to be seen? 

But - I am smart, and intelligent, sexy too.

Not enough for you, but I possess these things. 

Let me tap tap tap back into that intelligence right now. 

Remind myself just how in touch with the universe I am 

and how I know the universe is always there to support me. 

Unlike you, who only supports yourself.

A moment ago, just a moment, 

you were my world. 

Now, right now, I am the world and you are 

a crappy goodbye I had to scrape off my shoe 

to arrive back on the inner - with me. 

Reviews

[Nipplegrinder]

It's horrid when someone you love, doesn't see you.

[barleygirl]

This is a quirky, startling, impactful way to deliver this message, a good one mind you. I love the way the trajectory of your message feels like a slow awakening, appropriately jagged with bravado, questioning, & burgeoning confidence. You use many bright interesting analogies & metaphors. The best part, for me, is acknowledging the bad acts of another without getting into the blame & whining mode like some breakup poems do (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[drew garner]

Really like how it swings toward abstraction than you remind the reader that if this didn't happen that your imagination won't allow for it to be a simple fantasy (though my instincts tell me this is based on fact).
also, I also enjoy how after reading your poems I felt like I have read a short story all the while knowing that your writing hits all the beats of the form and lyricism of a poem.
Sorry if the review wasn't helpful, I don't think I am much of a critic but, I did enjoy it.

[KWP]

Actually Drew, it's a fantastic review. I like ho you express how it makes you feel - perfect really X

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words and thoughts. I did like the ending. Always a pleasure to reading your words and thoughts.
Coyote

[andrew mitchell]

Nice work Liz nicely said and the final stanza is great

[Davidgeo]

the two last words... I'd of totally gone with "within me".


I find it hard to review you because my intellectual approach is based off conflict and I agree with too much of what you have to say. It sounds silly given what I present myself as here but, it is what it is etc., etc..

[KWP]

I understand ... shall I get my gloves on? ...

[KWP]

I haven't written a philospohical poem in ages ... must tap back into that ... I often find I draw a blank and then when I am writing my thoughts to you the floodgates open and trapped thoughts come spewing out ... yeah - thanks for that.

[Davidgeo]

Come on now... most of what you write is philosophical in nature. Most of what everyone writes here, for better or worse, starts from a personal philosophy of one kind or another. The only reason I'm a good prompt is because I try and contribute with critical thought in my reviews as opposed to blind praise.

[Davidgeo]

(and of course, always have your gloves handy. I love to spar.)

[KWP]

I guess then the upper layers for me don't count as philosophical in my brain ... it's more the deep dives that do it for me ...

[wordman]

so the end has come, and you realize he is history and he never lived up to your standards any way

[Einstein Noodle]

hmmmm very emotive ..i feel the struggle and angst ..love the positive ending for your protagonist .. some people play a game ...others get sucked in sometimes thinking they can win ..but one does not win playing another's game ..they aren't set up that way ;) i love this poem .. great theme .. very believable characters .. they clearly are taken from everyday life ... i might look for a synonym for strong/strongest in V1 .. trivial in know ..just a thought ... killer closing line for me .."..arrive back on the inner - with me" Fantastic Elizabeth!
E.
ps. also really like the colloquial "..crappy..." :)))

[KWP]

hahahaha I guess she is Aussie then :D

strongest yes - but I am thinking she is around the early twenties mark so that's why I used that - but you are right I have used strong and then strongest - doesn't work ... thanks you - love ya XXX

[Einstein Noodle]

you are a treat! an uplifting spirit says i!

[Ardra]

You and me we are writing about same things in different ways ...lol
I love the sassy comments....

Is this act deliberate or you are just emotionally dumb.... Love this line..heheheh

That's like a strong girl..... 😘

[KWP]

thanks chick ... playing with characters ... it's amazing what one can conjure when you put yourself right int those shoes X

[Ardra]

:)
It does read like a very sassy character... and full of life.... and it's wonderful to read....