Failed as a Daughter

I was never good enough... never amounting to anyone or thing.

Looking back

And seeing what I did wrong

How I failed at life

Especially my Step-Dad

I was never what he wanted

Never the son he had hoped for

Hell!

I'm not even his biological daughter

I don't know where I went wrong

And how I ended up here

Feeling like...

Like you don't matter

That no matter where you go

Somebody is staring

Judging 

Because you're no "Super Model"

I'm just boring

Pathetic me

I'm weak

And have let myself fall apart

I don't have the strength

To move ahead

Knowing I failed you

As a daughter

Makes me believe

There is no use trying

Not in this world

I have created for myself

Isolated by concrete walls

And the constant pain

The constant need to please

Everyone around me

I've lost what it means

To be happy

I have allowed myself

To accept that I am nothing

I have failed my Step-Dad

And Biological Father

And with that...

I have failed as a Daughter

Reviews

[Elizabeth Marie O'neil-..]

I'm one of three daughters and by far not the favorite. I know parents aren't supposed to have favorites, but my dad does. He chose the daughter that could substitute for a son... Tis not I. There were several times I let it have its hold over me and hold me back. I defined myself by other peoples views. And my fathers view of me. It did me no good.
In the end, I accepted it and knew that all I could do was focus on how much I loved him. if you focus on how much he doesn't return the full extent of your love, it'll destroy you.
Beautifully written. By far one of my favorites.

[Manda]

I am glad you enjoyed this write!

[larryb]

Your being way too hard on yourself Mandy...from what i can read you have done very well for yourself and you cant expect to be perfect..cheer up and keep heading in a upward direction :)

[Manda]

THANKS... Hope you're right

[Mauricio Montoya]

life is about learning, one can be hard on one self we all make mistakes its all about picking up the pieces and moving on great job in bring this write together it brings out those feeling we sometimes want to hide, also good choice of words it show the emotion.
great job well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. I'm a father of four children. I watched my children fail and succeed. I kept my mouth quiet and allowed kids to come home. Hard for child and the father. Sometime silence is better then words. All we can do is the best we can. Real love is there is good and bad times. No perfect people. Just wise people willing to forget mistakes and be family. I would be proud of you. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote