As Memories Fade

When life treats you badly think back to the better times. . .

I can barely remember a time before Owen turned into such an arse, then again i guess he was always secretly like that. I do remember a time when he was practical still a child and he had a school boy crush on me. He was only eighty still looking twenty, he was good looking back then, he had honesty to him back then. Not anymore.

 

I always looked after him like an older sister. I always felt i had a right he was on a rapage when i found him. I changed him. For a little while.

 

The music was playing it was 1954 everything was good. We were as bright as rain dancing around the front room. I laughed as he spin me under his arm. He pulled me in  tight. My hand was placed on his chest and the other was in his hand. "Bloody hell you look pale" he joked. I placed my head on his shoulder.

"that's because i haven't eaten in a couple of weeks" he let go of my hand pulling down his collar. I knew what he was doing i just didn't want to think about it.

"If you need to eat, eat" i put my opposite hand on his neck. Leaned forward then pulled up his collar. 

"I'm fine, i don't need to eat" i looked straight at him into his dazzling blue eye's, i knew what he wanted to do. he went to kiss me but i put my head down so he only kissed my hair. i love him, yes. Not in the way he love's me i love him like a little brother, he love's me in a totally different way. When i looked back up i could see the remorse in his eyes. If my heart could live, i think it would break i thought to myself. I didn't walk away at first, at the least i could do was to let him have a shred of dignity.

 

That was the last memory of Owen St.John that was still, still the Owen i use to know. The real Owen. He's changed so much over the past 50 to 60 yests he's turned into something not recognisable. The life he once lived is the life i wish he still had. He was very old fashioned back then as he should be. Charming, sweet, sensitive everything you'd want but i has all that i had that such a long time ago. I didn't need him, I need and still do need my death, my despise.

 

I picked up my, now almost empty, bottle of vodka. As i tipped the last of the drink down my throat i looked at the sun. The sun that blazed just like the day i died. I could even smell the blood, the blood that drenched my body that day. It made my stomach churn as though i would be sick, which of course can't happen,. I could even taste his blood on the tip of my teeth, my first kill.

 

I was out picking the wheat from our crops. It was a normal day. the yellow grass surrounded the crops, the blue sky with no clouds showed over head. I was in traditional wear hair up clothing, what looked like a coloured cloth with floral patterns rapped around my body. Something in the distance made me jump, all the wheat i had gathered was scattered on the ground. I was rather frustrated at that point my hard mornings work across the ground. I kneeled down to pick them back up.

I felt un familiar hands grab my stomach. The nails of this man dug into my stomach. I flinched and screamed in terror. He moved one hand up my body ad covered my mouth. "Hush" he whispered in my ear as he pulled my neck back. I was unable to move severely afraid. I felt an icy cold breath on my neck which made me wince and want to run. i felt a pierce in my neck it stung with sheer intensity and pain that struck a thousand times over. I heard a swallow that i thought was coming from me. The painincreasedas the pierce went deeper. I went deep quickly like a stab wound. I could feel blood run down my neckand on to my shoulder. It was warm, the stench was disgusting. Tears ran down my face as blood ran as the pierce went deeper and deeper until it was no longer a pierce. It was seen to be a full blown stab wound.

I heard him swallow again and again and again never letting go of my neck. I was scared so very scared. I need to yell out for help, I couldn't knowing what might happen. I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for. I just need Levi to come around soon, start to pick his crops soon, wonder where i am soon. I wasn't dead yet the feeling of pain was still there I was chucked on the floor and thought to be dead.

The yellow grass was stained red from my blood. My body drenched in blood, my clothing socked in blood. There was a burning all through my body an uncontrollable burning. It seemed to be everywhere there was peace yet. I tried to hold fot all i had left. I gripped the grass pulling it out in an attempt to fight back the pain. I was doing this for almost two hours when i finally decided to give up. I'd let death come to me it's all i need now. the pain didn't stop it, i guess i got use to it. It didn't feel like this intense burning running through my body anymore. Although my blood began to boil under the sun.

I could hear him in the distance, the sweet man of mine come to find me. He followed the blood trail toward me. I heard him scream "Na. . .Na. . .Na" he found me i thought. Happiness spread through me. He could take me home back to our hut save me before it was too late. He pulled me up into his arms. My blood splashing on him as he lifted me. He smelt so good. A strange smell that I never noticed on him before, it was completely new. I dangled in his arms with no strength left.

Once we got home he laid me on our bed. The smell was gragging me so terrifuingly as his arm brushed by me i bit in. It was so filling at the time, but there was so little of it. I whipped my mouth with my with my hand. I saw him lying there face first on the bed covered in not only my blood but his blood too. I was appalled with myself and i detested what I did.

The worst part of it was that I didn't even have the decency to stay for his burial. I didn't even cry after I killed him. I just ran away.

 

I cry now I cry everyday knowing that his death was my fault. That's why I long for my own death so much. I picked up the empty bottle of Vodka then smashed it against the wall behind me pieces of glass flew around, smashing everywhere. It gave me no joy although, smashing it against the wall, I wish it did. Oh god how I wish it did. . .

 

Author's Note

Please review and read the last two chapters more will be up soon.xXx