Rivers protect, enchant, nurture...
But these days they are mercilessly polluted.
People ought to protect them.
If the present state continues, humanity will live dead!
So, gear up to protect our lifelines!
My Review
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My favorite stanza was definitely the first one. There was something magical about it. The rest was okay but the rhyme scheme was lost...
Thanks for sharing
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Always welcome Jessica:)
I agree about the rhyme scheme and I too liked the first stanza:)
6 Years Ago
I second this review. Took the words right out of my mouth. However, it wasn't the rhyme scheme that.. read moreI second this review. Took the words right out of my mouth. However, it wasn't the rhyme scheme that was lost, rather the musicality was. For the refrain is essentially the main beats of the poem, so there wasn't necessarily any need for any rhyme for it. You could have made the three other lines rhyme with each other, but what really matters is the fact that the refrain didn't necessarily need any rhyme. The first stanza is perfection at its finest. With the other two.....Stanza 2 could lose a syllable in Line 2, and Stanza 3...."Caressing over"? Don't think anything can caress over things, and "rejuvenating precious lives" is a bit of a mouthful.
i read your comments again. Thanks for the guidance. I never thought much when I wrote it...but damn.. read morei read your comments again. Thanks for the guidance. I never thought much when I wrote it...but damn, your reviews throw a whole new light on my poem. Thanks a lot
I guess this kind of productive write can open the eyes of authorities and citizens to have a deep understanding what steps to be taken to prevent it..the massive message has been shared by this shorter piece of writing... quite impressive :)
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Abhishek:)
I am humbled by your review!
The descriptions, the beauty and the ability to visualize are all there!
The poem's repetition helped enhance the poem and made it engaging for the readers!
Keep it up
From the repeated syllable rhymes, along with same letter use... Succinct and crystal-clear wordage... You made me feel the river, rather than just see it... Smoothly penned...
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Silente:)
Always happy to read your review!