Written with air ... (dolor)

Free Verse

Written with air …

There may come a time
when thoughts dissipate,
like frost that lingered
as lace on green blades;
and, like early dew,
you are no longer here,
inside my mind, my soul ...
my heart unthawed
by life's sun bowing  out,

in abjured encore.

Where have our moments gone,
those that called us out to dance,
to warmly embrace it all,
to revel in laughter's afterglow,
shining with tears of forgiveness;
and, what of all the gold we shared,
our hours spent
in ethereal lovemaking?

I knew you - oh so well ...
the child inside,
the woman of you, too,
and all that life called us to be,
together ~
in the spark of eternal
forevermore.

Our days and nights,
spent wrapped in splendor,
thrust together,
entwined like vines
with insatiable fingers ...
swimming your pools
of endless depth,
those verdant portals
into your soul.

It is as though ...
a mystical wand passed over us,
and like the sigh
of a baby's first breath ...
here, in soft feathered touch,
... shhh!

Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air.


Richard W. Jenkins
©2016

Not my best work, I know, but I needed to say something that felt real,
exactly as it crossed my heart ... I know you understand.
I didn't even stop to check for spelling ...

so very much unlike me ... LOL!
Any help is welcomed.

Author's Note

Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

Yeah, I know, it needs something … any help will be appreciated. : )

Reviews

[lovelymarina]

The vivid imagery in this one was so alluring... made me want to keep reading...and the ending was the best part. "As if we, You and I, were merely, Written with air" That line struck me. You are so talented at guiding the reader to feel every word spoken in your poetry. Another masterpiece!
Marina

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Marina Dear, most humbly and gratefully.💫

Soon enough, M'Lady, graciously compelling words, such as yours, will adorn every review on every piece your enthralling pen can bestow.

You make me want to reread every poem you've reviewed, just to know how wonderful they must be.
Miles of cozy smiles! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Einstein Noodle]

i followed this easily ...i think its fine unless you want some other dimension to come into play ...your theme...two people in love with history of youthful exuberance ...devil may care fire ... burn it up and slide through middle age all the way to a quiet time of lifes review ...at least one of them ..but it could be both ...i like being able to write my own ending ..as the beginning of the next adventure or ... sadly ... the end ;(
E.
ps. as i was reading this (out loud) my thoughts went pretty fast to .. i'll tell you what happens ...children happen!!! one gets so busy with them its a blur until they are grown, gone and now you can reflect ... without stress nor demand ;)))

[Richard🖌]

Good morning, Gene!
It's so nice to see ya, My Friend, and to receive your words of insight, appreciation, and encouragement.
True, kids are a treat when born and until they become teens; then, again after they're out on their own … LOL!

I always like your easy take on my not always easy to grasp pieces … thanks a bushel! ⁓ Richard : )

[Einstein Noodle]

i am curious to know what you may think it needs ...its deeply romantic ...two that share something that not everyone has or will experience ..as in these lines:
"those verdant portals
into your soul.'
which a really gravitate to ...

[Richard🖌]

Gene,
After reading each reviewer's take on this one, I'm beginning to believe it's my imagination that keeps poking me to figure out what it needs, but we both know it's not perfect, eh?
Still, I suppose there is a point where one should say, "Enough!" and consider a work (at least suitably) finished. : )

[Einstein Noodle]

yep ..i agree :) imperfection is a given in any earthly endeavor ... :))))))))

[Richard🖌]

We so pleasantly see eye-to-eye, My Fine, Delightful Friend. : )

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..................

[heavenscentgirl1]

Mmmm, not your best work????

Well, you may be right ~ for you have penned & shared so many Masterpieces with us, it is vitually impossible to pick out a "best one".

Richard, each line/stanza of this exquisite piece is filled with so much passion, as well as with yearning, feelings of lonliness, a deep abiding love & finally, regrets of the loss of the love that once was.

This is an overall sad piece of writing but at the same time ... is beautiful in the wording & visual presentation ~ well done my friend.

Please take care & have a wonderful day.

Blessings,🙏
~ mj

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Mary Jo!
Thanks for such a broad scope of view shared in your heartfelt words for this humble little piece of poignant Free Verse, and I agree … often, there 'is' a certain beauty to be found in sadness, eh?

Big hug of warmest thanks on this hot, sunny day! ⁓ Richard : )

[heavenscentgirl1]

It's always my pleasure to read your words ... mj

[emmajoy]

A beautiful post, full of sincere emotions that poets can express so readily.. (whether edited or not.) Your sincerity is more than apparent by some wonderful said phrases, 'Where have our moments gone, ~ those that called us out to dance, ~ to warmly embrace it all, ~ to revel in laughter's afterglow,..:

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Emma Joy,
I have always looked forward to your deeply expressive, gratifying, and appreciative reviews.
Those lines you've highlighted … deeply touch.

[Great Aunt Astri]

You may think that this is not your 'best' work but your feelings come across loud and clear. You express the memory of one truly loved in beautiful wording. Written in air, maybe, but, like air, you and she are still everywhere in the atmosphere!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, M'Dear Astri! : )
It is so lovely to see you tonight, and to receive the knowing warmth of your always in-depth thoughts and feeling on one of my humble little pieces.
That is such a beautifully touching thought, that we are still together (perhaps) "everywhere in the atmosphere" … wish I'd written that.

Thank you, Dearest One.
You're my sparkling star … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Ardra]

Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air....

i think this would be my fav among all your poems... so captivating..
its just few simple lines you captured the jist of relationship which changes with passage of time..
struck a string of my heart and i felt the pain ..
aww richard... so pure and tender is your poem..

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Ria,
I always love how your heart and spirit dance through your reviews, telling me how nicely we've touched and connected.

What more could an olde bard hope for?
Thank you again … warmly, Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[lightsong]

It needs nothing, free genuine piece of what "a real feeling" is, not only real... but alive, vibrant, timeless...it feels like it's just written, from the deepest of Your being, upon the page, unto our deepest cores, nothing in its huge sweeping power has flickered even a bit.
Is there really a river of tears? an ocean of sadness? a well ever-flowing with grieve? a pain that is beyond these skies? still is there more tenderness, more sensitiveness, more deep, clarity of emotions? more lovingly soul? more commanding energy over each of the senses? over each fiber? over each emotion? raising them into where the world disappear and all what left is... feelings.... in Your words all are here, abounding even more than any emotion can speak, I'm swallowed here, now at this moment where everything else disappear around, I was attempting to review more of Your works, but now I'm just drifted away where nothing else can be written, I need sometime alone, not even sure what I'm writing here, all I can say is each of my tears is a waterfall... Your words spoke to me like I've written them with my own blood... I feel just like I'm written in the air...

[lightsong]

Sorry for the groaning review, but it's Your powerful dolor upon the whole of me.

[Richard🖌]

Well, GH,
One need not wonder what you think and how you feel about this touching little piece in homage to sorrow and grief, or if its intent has reached into your depths.
Not many have it in them to openly express themselves in such as way as you have here … it is refreshing and gratifying to receive!
This is the kind of lovely "groaning" review that leaves a hopeful olde bard smiling and warmed from tip to toe.

Thank you you ever-so brightly, Dear Lady-Poet … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[V]

I love it. Everything about it seems perfect in my humble opinion. Your choices of words, the flow as if sussurated and flowing with the wind. Or like breaths effortless but carried by a tender form of suffering.
The word dolor in your title caught my eye; are you referring to the Spanish word - pain? I'd love that. (I've written or rather scribbled some poems in Spanish once, one of those I still share here). A beautiful poem.

[Richard🖌]

You bless me, Dear Poetess!
Your beautifully rendered words of understanding, insight, and deep feeling are a poem in themselves.

You've left my senses wonderfully exuberantly warmed … thank you most gratefully! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dave]

I don't speak or write with the eloquence of many who write here, but I know what I like.
You write such heartfelt thoughts. You wring the the hearts of any that have loved and lost that part which completes them.
I'm sorry, but try as I may I see nothing that could make this tribute to love more complete.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Dave! : )
I, too, know what I like, and I know I like the keen graciousness you've gifted this softly poignant, simple piece of Free Verse writing.

Bless you, My Fine Friend! ⁓ Richard

[J. J. Nightingale]

Not your best ?? wow.. I think it is one of
YOUR BEST !
Real.. touching..and warm

Jazzy.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Jasmine.
Sorry I did not see your lovely review until now, when this poem was brought forward by another's review.
The sight is, sometimes, remiss in notifying me of reviews.

I am so very happy you found such favor in this one, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard : )

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome kind Sir....:)...............

[Richard🖌]

Do you know of any more of yours I may have missed, Jasmine?

[J. J. Nightingale]

Not sure.... .. I think you have missed 3 of my comments on your poems..if that is what you are asking.......no problem.... :).................

[J. J. Nightingale]

but..... a couple I deleted, as to not appear even dumber than I am thought to be on the Cafe..lol

[Richard🖌]

Well, I am sorry to have missed ANY of your always excellent reviews, Jasmine, and I cannot begin to imagine you ever appearing to be dumb to anyone, most definitely never me. I regret missing any of your reviews to deletion, too … it's like taking candy from a hungry boy! ; )

[J. J. Nightingale]

Ha Ha....ok

[J. J. Nightingale]

Happy New Year.......................

[Richard🖌]

And, to You, M'Dear! : )

[J. J. Nightingale]

Thank you... saw this poem had been commented on, so came back to reread .......... ♥...........

[Richard🖌]

Sweet of you! ; )

[Sira YR]

I really don't see what's wrong with this poem. I mean it was so beautiful and heartfelt and was filled with such emotion from the start that i was compelled to read further. Such a beautiful love poem. And i did not find any misspelled words. Fantastic job!!!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Rayanna!
You've just become the sunshine in my cold, overcast day. : )
It seems most of us artistic types seldom believe our work is ever finished, so I'll embrace your judgment of this one and lave it alone (for the time being) … LOL!
Thanks so much, Sweet Little Lady-Poet, for reading this for me, for leaving such a thoughtful review, and most certainly for your inspiring compliments … happy hugs to you, Rayanna! ⁓ Richard

[Sira YR]

you are very welcome... i love how you express yourself so eloquently- even in your comments. You are truly a gift to the writing community! Thank you again for posting this and all of your other writings.

[Richard🖌]

"B L U S H *"