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A Chapter by Lyn Anderson
"

I realized all my funny stories start with, the time I got hit by ... Based on true events, and yes, at least one person was seriously injured in the making of this poem ...

"
Looking in the mirror, admiring the shine,
If she only had a nickle,
for every time
she got herself in a pickle ...

Cheek's swollen,
face black and blue,
shoulder scraped and oozin'
what's a girl gonna do?

Apply the makeup,
and get ready to explain,
how she got banged up,
yet again.

Just a fact of life, oh my,
on one knee,
pet a puppy,
get a shiner for each eye ...

cross the road,
wasn't far, hit by car,
bruised hip, split lip
jumped on bed, sliced head,
kicked and missed, broke wrist,
super glue, hand to shoe --
never mind Laurel and Hardy,
till she trips, it ain't a party!







© 2016 Lyn Anderson



Author's Note

Lyn Anderson
if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

My Review

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Reviews

I'm with Barleygirl on this one KL, although I understand the humour. If you don't laugh, you cry, and when these "accidents" are put on repeat, constantly shuffling from the end to the beginning again, on constant loop, the feeling beyond despair can make hopeless hysteria break through the cracks, cuts and bruises when the mind tells the body it can't take any more, while knowing more will follow. I hope I am wrong, but fear I am not.
Apologies for the delay in reviewing, some reviews come more easily than others.

Posted 11 Months Ago


Lyn Anderson

11 Months Ago

Hey there. Thanks. While I have been open about my difficult relationship, the bruises were nearly a.. read more
As an old, and I do mean old,, biker who rode enduros, scrambles and motocross as well as road bikes, I can appreciate the constant parade of bangs and bruises. Sometimes abuse is self-inflicted. Good write.

Posted 12 Months Ago


Lyn Anderson

11 Months Ago

Glad you read and reviewed as intended. :)
I also read this as "abuse" . . . thinking it was a twisted acerbic commentary on all the excuses a battered woman might need to make in the course of her sad life. But if this is your true story of klutzism, then I'm even more baffled. I thought I was a klutz, but it's more about knocking stuff over & breaking things, rather than destroying myself. Anyhow, it's a good poem with a double meaning & the various TRIP-ups are vividly described to be in our mind's eye.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

It most definitely could be interprested that way. I really should write a story about the time I su.. read more
Disturbing, I read abuse between the lines. Ain't no party.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

In this case, there really aren't any hidden meanings.:)
Paloma

1 Year Ago

Good to know, so you're just really uncoordinated you klutz. :)
Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Yep. In one week I got a right and left black eye from two different dogs. Too bad my weird odds thi.. read more
Man...
You've got to be more careful.
I'd be laughing harder if part of me didn't recall how many women make stuff like this up to hide abuse but since you're pretty open about that I'll take this at face value and say "slow down"

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

As I have explained to others, this really is a face value poem. what made it more difficult was peo.. read more
Ana Papaya

1 Year Ago

Yeah, I took it at face value. I know you've been open about that stuff. Just funny that on top of.. read more
Only hurts till you cry, after that you don't ask why. Think that's how the song goes.
Though i like the one that goes. I hit him with a baseball bat, he didn't have time to ask why. Which was just as well we didn't see eye to eye.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Your comments are a fun bit of rhyme.
You certainly have had more than your share of mishaps and unfortunately, I can relate. Love the happy rhyming in this that belies the situations you describe. Be careful out there, KL. Lydi**

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much.
ahahaha ..you got me truly laughing out loud right now ..oh my!!! yes ..we might just as well celebrate the humor of it all .. i couldn't agree more .. love and peace my friend
E.
ps. and healing :))

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much. The time I crazy glued a car emblem to my hand, every time I start to tell that.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Year Ago

ahahaha! your a corker dahlink! have come very close to super glueing fingers together ...;}
Kl, Kl, KL.... what are we gonna do with you... wrap you in bubble wrap or some kind of padding??? keep you away from doggies and cyclists??? KL doesn't stand for Kara Lynn, rather its "Klutzy Lamour"... ;0p...

I think you are right, if we can't laugh at ourselves... and I also agree with the many below who said you turn unfortunate events into humor and better yet poetry... and so so so very glad it is klutziness and not something else for these scars... you my friend need padded clothes.. lots of it... might also lead to some adventurous fun for the farmboy to solve... ;0)

redzone

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Oh, farmboy and I have had our share of clumsy adventures. :)
I'm glad you can laugh babe :) that says to me you're in a good place, it does read as a series of unfortunate comedic events, you've pulled that off really well. A totally different vibe but I laugh at the ridiculous times pre divorce, like the horrendous fight at the airport upon coming home to NZ...lol, they were horrible at the time but so ridiculously funny now. Love ya. R xo

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lyn Anderson

1 Year Ago

Thanks. Truthfully, I am a klutz, which made things even more challenging given my unhealthy relatio.. read more
aLittlePain

1 Year Ago

I'm chuckling...sorry ;) get you...you're a trooper alright. I hope she cycled herself into a wall. .. read more

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Added on September 15, 2014
Last Updated on October 15, 2016
Tags: funny, clumsy, face plant, black eyes, hurt


Author

Lyn Anderson
Lyn Anderson

Toronto, Ontario, Canada



About
I write under a pseudonym. I don't do Read Requests, but you can PM me if you want me to read something specific. I make friends with people who I read and interact with. I won't accept random reque.. more..

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