Kamalesh..

A goodbye to my brother, my best friend..

Heavy compressed feelings I bury within myself

Gloominess surrounds me,

There is no one to confront these feelings I have

Your story too dreamy to be real

Your news too harsh to swallow

On the rainy day you went past the horizon

Flew with your tender wings that were always hidden

Behind your deceiving smile

Far, far away from this parasitic entity - society

To the people of your kind, to the club of deity

 

Old stains of memory all coming back

Your words recurring, echoing in my head

Still I remember the day when you said,

“I am so alone among the crowd around”

Didn’t knew what you meant back then

Hazes have cleared now

Everything you said makes so much sense

Had I known you had walked so far

I would have hugged you and never let you fall down

But heaven had different plans

And what could you do but obey

And embrace the doom

The so called destiny

Slowly your impressions shall fade

It may burn into thin air

But the memories that we share who can erase?

You the poet, the rebellion

Always will remain

Eternal as the sun’s rays

Dear Kamlesh,

Goodbye for now my counterpart, my friend

I shall meet you someday, in the end.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

This is a great tribute to your brother. You've managed to put so much in here without being too maudlin or over emotional.

The emotional changes that occur in the first stanza are handled really well and reflect the kind of confusion associated with sudden loss. This begins with sadness as you speak of the "gloominess", then disbelief in the "news too harsh to swallow", then abstraction with the use of euphemism in "you went past the horizon" and finally protestation as you speak about the unfairness of society. This is writing of the highest quality.

In the second stanza I sense a real feeling of regret, not just at the loss but the fact that you cannot go back and re-live the times together, perhaps with the benefit of hindsight. The lines, "slowly your impressions shall fade it may burn into thin air but the memories we share who can erase?" introduce a feeling that the link is still there beyond death and that even time cannot change things.

This is a fantastic homage to your brother and an excellent piece of writing per se.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Oh my, I have to say, I had a tear in my eye after reading this, I read it four times. Fantastic use of wording and easy flow. full of event emotion, well done, well done!!

[Sanjeeta Sharma Pokhar..]

This poem made me sad. I still remember him. He was a bit naughty when He was at school and teased me and Amrita a lot. Those were the days of childhood. And, he moved out of this "slush" of Illusions without even letting us know. Where-ever he is...He will always shine in the firmament of reminiscences.

[imawriter]

This evokes all the feelings that come when you lose someone important. You describe sorrow so well.

[Revolved]

I could tell this came straight from the heart. It was written well and it rhymed nicely.

[kirat hang]

Make use of a good vocabulary..............a little concise or a tender paragraphs would have brilliantly echoed your feelings............anyways another masterpiece to your collection....please do carry on

[R E Tree]

I like how you have described this person with such powerful words. I enjoyed the second stanza it impressed me a lot my favourite line is "Eternal as the sun’s rays" I don't really know what to say because this is just beautiful and it can't be any better

[Ecnelis]

This has beautiful imagery and soooo much emotion. The feeling of sadness and regret is so clear. There are some spots where grammar needs to be fixed (ie: Know instead of 'knew')

The first stanza's imagery is beautiful. The las two lines of it are particularly amazing. Greeaat job!

[Iota]

so many lessons in this write. It is a great tribute to indeed. I feel writing poetry allows us to purge ourselves and it is a release so we can manage what is inside of us more clearly. Nice write.