Declared Deceased

Deals with the worst consequences bullying can have if it is left untreated

Please Read Before Reading The Song:

Hello everybody, I just wanted to let you know that the following song is really dark, and that there is a legitimate reason for this darkness.  I believe that while it's true that an effective way to help stop bullying is to focus solely on the victims, I also think that some focus should be put on what bullying could make those victims become-bullies themselves.  This song is written from the perspective of a victim of bullying who has given up on all that is good in the world, and has decided that the only way to get by in a world so harsh is to be every bit as harsh as the world is.  If we want to prevent people from becoming like this, we need to try as much as we can to end bullying.  I hope you enjoy this song, and I want to honestly know what you think of it.

Also, I tried actually writing rap verses in this song ,which is something I've never done before.  The rap parts will be the italicized lines, and the regular parts will be the italicized parts.  Please be honest about what you think of this :)

Declared Deceased 

They told me that I'm a disease and brought my life to its knees

God watched with calloused apathy as I crashed in an avalanche of debris

The betrayal drove this nail that has left me stone cold and frail

In the end Hate and pain prevail, while Love and Faith are the ones who fail

The saint that was inside of me has been declared deceased

I'll save myself from Society's lies, embrace the rampant rage inside

I know now that the kind and the weak will never claim victory

So I'll let what's left of my heart die and let the smoke and fire rise

Forever and ever I'll spread this cancer, only despair can bring rapture

Don't worry Mirror, I got your lecture letter telling me that I'm a failure

This age turns your life into world war III then dopes it up on LSD

By broadcasting you like NBC and destroying you with RPGs

So I have written a simple recipe perfect for eradicating dreams

Boil the weak and add a sprinkle of assault and pepper-spray

Tell me why I should fight the crime

When the wrong are far stronger than the right?!

Tonight I am switching sides and letting the innocent taste the Viper's bite

Tell me why I should fight the crime

When the wrong are far stronger than the right?!

I have opened my eyes and have realized the nice are always last in line

The saint that was inside of me has been declared deceased

I'll save myself from Society's lies, embrace the rampant rage inside

I know now that the kind and the weak will never claim victory

So I'll let what's left of my heart die and let the smoke and fire rise

I have been forsaken and maimed, shattered and betrayed

Son, you had better run, I'm mounting the Horses of Holocaust

You can pray to Heaven all you want but you cannot escape this onslaught

I have been forsaken and maimed, shattered and betrayed

Playing games with my prey is the only remedy for my pain

I'm gonna bring the rain and wash away this place that I have come to hate

The saint that was inside of me has been declared deceased

I'll save myself from Society's lies, embrace the rampant rage inside

I know now that the kind and the weak will never claim victory

So I'll let what's left of my heart die and let the smoke and fire rise

Author's Note

My goodness, I seriously gave myself a massive headache trying to write this one! I know this may not be my best piece, but I decided to post it because of how much fun I had writing it, and because I had a message I want to deliver: I am NOT going to EVER go mainstream(which is what I feel a lot of my songs have been lately) again! Please be honest in your opinions about this piece :)

Reviews

[Maja]

Holy crap that was really good. I love how you were able to capture both sides: the anger and the surrender. Some people really do end up bullying others because they come to the conclusion that being good isn't doing jack for them, and so they end up thinking that they're weak and the only way for them to rise is to step on other people. And it doesn't even really matter who's doing the bullying; you can feel like a total failure without the stereotypical schoolyard bully. Wonderful job!

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you liked this, and you are absolutely right. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Skai Rain]

F*****g. Fantastic.
I actually love the darker stuff, I believe it holds more meaning. I feel like this could connect with so many things and stirs so much emotion. It could be connected to bullying, abuse, being wronged by family, or the government... just so much. It all depends on how you choose to take it. Though I know from the beginning it is about bullying, of course. You did well expressing the horror that it is.

[DoormanDan]

I agree, darker stuff can hold more meaning. I really wanted this piece to connect with others more than my usual writing, so I'm glad you think it does! Thanks for reviewing this :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

I'll never understand why some of the...er...not very good pieces on here get so many reviews, while gems like this one lie unnoticed except for a few. Hopefully more people will drop by and read this wonderful work.

I've been a victim of bullying my entire life, it has literally never gone away. But, I learned to deal with it, and eventually just ignore it and move on. I understand not many are able to do that, and it's really hard. Bullying is a serious problem this day and age, and more should be made aware of it and help to end it.

May the gods help anyone who bullies my child when I have one in the future, because I will go full Mama-Bear and handle the problem myself if the school won't. Haha.

[DoormanDan]

When mama bear gets involved, even Yogi Bear ain't safe haha. I think the popularity of a writer on this website sometimes depends on things like how often they are on(which I'm on usually once or twice a day, but I don't really spend much time on here until the weekends because of high school), how many reviews the writer gives(which I have to admit I don't give that many because of a strong combination of high school and inattentive ADHD, hoping to work on that soon though), and how mainstream the writing is at times. I'm not saying that people who are popular aren't good, no, not by any means, but I do think that these things can play a key role in popularity on this website. Me? I'm perfectly fine regardless of whether or not I become popular on here, so long as there are people who appreciate what I write, and that do not try to tell me what to be or what to write. I am sorry to hear that you are having to put up with bullying, just know there are always people by your side(including me, though I know that probably doesn't mean much because you've never met me in person). Something does need to be done, and I just want what I've written here to make a difference more than anything. Thank you so much for reviewing this :)

[Amber Lily]

I LOVE this! This is definitely a song I would listen to! I really reminded me of the song by Rise Against - Make It Stop. Bullying has made so many people suffer and some get pushed to the point of becoming a bully themselves or even suicide. If this song saves even one life it was so worth you writing! Great job :)

[DoormanDan]

I really could picture this being a rise against song now that I think about it. You're right Amber, if this does save just one life it will have been worth writing. :)

[Lizardo]

God, this is amazing!
Tha rap did come out really good, I absolutly enjoyed reading this, like you have no idea, color for my eyes.
Great poem Dan, its really good, but I must say that you were right. It is kind of dark. Bullying should be stop, because it really doesn't make any sense treating people bad and you don't even have a real thing for fight him.
Great poem dan

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you think it's good Lizardo! I have to admit, I was so close to just trashing this immediately after I wrote it, because I thought the rap parts were r downright awful(since as raps are way outside of my comfort zone), but so far all of the feedback on it has been good, so I'm glad I didn't. I agree with bullying, it needs to be stopped, otherwise many victims could end up becoming the person this song is suppose to be depicting. :)

[Valentine]

Bullying seems to exist most places. They need help in the schools to teach both sides of the pain and damage it can do. Valentine

[DoormanDan]

Yes, I agree with you on that thought. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Stephen]

I really liked it. I could tell you have a lot of emotions concerning this subject. I was the one bullied in school. It's not cool. It caused me to be depressed and made me hate school. Thanks for speaking out on this subject

[DoormanDan]

I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied in school. Perhaps one day there won't be any bullying at all, wouldn't that be nice? Thanks for reviewing this :)

[Bear]

I enjoyed reading it, there is a dark depth to it that reflects a side of all mankind that needs to constantly checked so we never let is run free. Thank you for allowing us to read it.

[DoormanDan]

If we want to prevent people from becoming like this, one thing we can do is attempt to stop bullying and abuse. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Willard Wells]

well I post most everything good or bad. I find sometimes people see more than I saw. You hit a subject I was reflecting on also. What brings and drives someone to bully and as we know it is often the life they are leading and the abuse at home that they get. You are a product of your environment. Nice work and thanks for sharing

[DoormanDan]

You are absolutely right about that, and thanks for reviewing :)

[Relic]

I applaud you for not cursing in the lyrics. You have reflected the thoughts of the victim well. If anyone wants to know the effects of bullying they should look to this as a reference because it is so honest and true. If we look at some past school shooters, I'm confident you would find these traits you so aptly describe here. You did a fine job of writing this Doorman.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this Relic. I don't believe in using strong curse words(the most you will ever see from me is damned or Hell). Yes, I think that when it comes down to it, bullying is the main cause of many of these tragedies.