Boiling Point

Another day dawned...

demanding a meed of flesh and blood

bones shattered under the pressure of the sun

purging the old and undertaken view

harmful toxins waited in the shade

til moon came out to play

stick a needle in your eye

step on all the cracks

break your mother's back

child's play grew up to be a cruelty 

in disguise of white candy crap

took the stranger in while looking for a solution

brain on fire, bubbled over on my skin

what is the boiling point of mind over matter?

Reviews

[s y e]

"stick a needle in your eye
step on all the cracks
break your mother's back"

Oooooh flip flops, love! This is a dark, powerful write. A lot of really vivid lines that make you go ouch! Ha, This is another outstanding write from you. I don't think the darkness would ever leave us fully, we just kind of get used to it being there, we have so much in our mind that it is weighing us down and yet, we still try and remain strong for others around us.

~ Noodlebumble ~~

[Frieda P]

Wooo another flip flops from Sye....made my night! x

[Barbara Walker]

Awesome! Love those last two lines!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barbara, glad you enjoyed!

[Rebecca Buller]

Ferocious and very dark, yet very brilliant. And the picture you posted with this piece is creepy. (*shivers up my spine*) One might not want to read this one alone in the dark. Excellent!

[Frieda P]

Jazzing on your review Rebecca, thanks so much!

[Angel]

Ouch. This one hurt.
A very expressive piece, here. I can feel the rage, and the pain in it. A dark piece, full of emotion.

[Frieda P]

Some should come with a warning I guess, thanks Angel!

[Angel]

Writers write what they feel...as you and i know ;-D

[Astro]

This one almost felt like a stream of consciousness type poem to me, like you were winding down a spiral of thoughts that eventually took form in a question that holds the entirety of the piece together. I like the bit about child play, I still avoid stepping on cracks when walking, something my child's mind never grew out of.;)

[Frieda P]

I think you're right Astro, it practically wrote itself to be honest, just my thoughts came pouring out, thanks so much, and ha to the stepping on cracks, I think a lot of people still shun that. ;-)

[Astro]

You're welcome.

[kublakhan27]

A very intense piece with a lot of imagery I would not associate with you traditionally, along with some I would :P Love the final line as well...powerful work my friend.

[Frieda P]

I should have thrown a zephyr in there for you Benji! :-) Thanks so much...

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm sure you'll find lots of room for zephyrs in future works Mrs.R, and maybe one for me :)

[ShelleyA]

Hi Frieda. A very good dark write that's eerie and wrought with a raging passion. Well crafted free verse. Good imagery and descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of destruction and cruelty with ferocity. Deep expression of emotion. Angry and powerful. Well penned. Write on!

[Frieda P]

Oh how I love your reviews Shelley, you have to teach me how to do that, thanks my friend!

[ShelleyA]

You're very welcome Frieda. Have a great day!

[Baby Ricochet]

Kinda creepy and violent, I like it

[Frieda P]

Ha thanks Mark.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A confusion of feelings my Lady. The feeling of being moribund and yet seething and angry with life perhaps?

[Frieda P]

All of the above John, thanks muchly my friend.

[Archangel Gabriel]

This felt like you really did not want to get out of bed! It felt like a physical struggle to get your body working and that to do so took so much energy.

[Frieda P]

Exactly Gabriel, some things we don't want to face in the light of day...thanks.