51. Shocking developments

Friday, October 13th, found me in sour spirits when I woke up; okay, well maybe not as much sour as it was unusual. I had never felt like this before; I couldn't place as to why, but I knew something was definitely off. I stretched all my muscles without moving the bed to see if I could pinpoint a reason. My right leg was still tender and any movement hurt. I grimaced as I tried to point my right toes. I did get the surgery, much to my dismay. Now my leg was wrapped in a plain white cast - I figured I could splash some color on there if I really needed to, but it was the time of year when it got cold fast and I preferred to stay in pants. Jess helped me find some cute pants and altered a few jeans for me. I rolled to my back and looked at Pat. His breaths were slow and steady, his arm was draped over my waist, and his right hand tucked under his head; he wasn't the cause behind my early awakening. I pushed the light on his watch. 04:13. I sighed and covered his wrist until the light turned off again. He moved beside me and pulled me closer, wrapping me up in both of his arms. I grinned, thankful that it seemed to be an automatic response from him. I loved how he could sense I needed his comforting ways. I kissed his hand by my cheek then untangled myself from his arms. Slowly I sat up and moved to the side of the bed, making the bed bounce. I bit my lip and froze. Pat rolled over, his blue glow from his watch lit up the room again, and he rubbed my back. "You know the sun's not up for like another three hours," he whispered groggily behind me.

"I know. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry. I was just going to use the bathroom and take a lap around the house real quick. Go back to sleep, dear. I'll join you in a bit," I promised. He sat up and came behind me, securing me in his arms.

"Your voice is tense, doll. What's going on? Nightmare?" He asked fully alert now as he check my pulse, measured my breathing, and felt up and down my arms looking for something that was wrong.

"No. I'm fine. Stop," I begged as I pulled his arms around me again.

"Okay. Tell me what you're feeling, doll. Is there something I can do to help?"

"I don't know. I'm just on high alert. Something has me spooked. I don't know what or why. Pass me my phone please," I instructed. He reached over to the nightstand, unplugged my charging phone, and handed it over. No new messages, no missed calls. I pressed my lips together. "Jess keeps running through my mind, but she's good about texting me if she has any problem at all. I have no messages or missed calls."

"Send her a message," Pat ordered as he rubbed my back and kissed my shoulder. "Who else is crossing your mind, Sarah?"

"You, Jess, me, and a girl from my class - not Renae," I admitted. Noah, Tyler, Josh, and all of the Peterson's had all crossed my mind too, but Jess and Esther seemed to be front and center. I sent Jess a message as ordered. "Top of the morning to you sister! Hope all is well. Breakfast at 7?"

"I'm good, and aside from you sounding tense, you're good too, doll. I'm sure your sister is fine. It's odd that you're classmate is crossing your mind too. Trust your instincts. I'll go get you another pain pill. We can be up for the day if you'd like?" Pat asked as he kissed down my neck.

"It's still kinda early. We don't have to get moving for like another two and a half hours," I replied. I turned around and kissed him. "A pain pill would be helpful; my leg is protesting loudly already. Thank you. Again, I'm sorry for waking you." I turned on the flashlight on my phone.

"NO!" Pat grumbled as he covered both of our heads with his blanket, pulling me back so that I was laying across his chest. I got tangled up in my own blanket and my phone fell to the floor as he complained, "too early. Too bright!"

"Well I wouldn't have to turn it on if you didn't get out of the habit of turning my nightlight off," I teased. He let out a soft snicker and moved his hand up my arm so it rested on my shoulder. "I need to be able to see where I'm putting my crutches down so I don't slip and slide. The journey to the bathroom is a dangerous trek, you know?" Pat just chuckled beneath me and stroked my face.

"I've heard that, doll. Alright. You may go. Just don't blind me," he ordered softly.

"Can't. I'm tied up in my blankets," I retorted. 

"Is that so? Hmmm. Guess it's my lucky day. You can leave only if you can untangle yourself," he replied cheekily. I giggled as he rolled me over so I was facing him. I kissed his collarbone and ran my fingers through his hair. "I change my mind. You have to stay right here," he whispered as he pulled me closer yet and kissed me.

"Patrick Benjamin, I'll gladly be your prisoner after I come home from school. I'm getting up," I insisted, throwing the blanket back. He chuckled and kissed me one more time then helped me sit up. "Love you, dear."

"I love you too, Sarah," Pat replied as he rolled over and turned on the lamp. I grabbed my phone before grabbing the crutches and quickly made my way to the bathroom. I propped them up against the door frame as I heard Pat shuffle out of the room, so I left the door open and flipped on the bathroom light. It was just easier for me to not worry about the door with the crutches; I may have fallen a time or two or dropped a crutch on my left foot trying to get out. Pat often worried about me hurting myself more, but I reassured him I was fine - just naturally clumsy. Bracing against the wall with my left hand, I carefully hopped over to the toilet. Once I was situated, I looked at my phone again and turned off the flashlight. Jess had replied.

"Breakfast at 7. We'll meet you there. How'd you know we were up? As in the baby and I. Noah. He's hopeless."

"Didn't. Woke up and you kept crossing my mind. Everything okay?" I sent back.

"Yeah. Junior is very active tonight and I'm so hungry! I've had mashed potatoes and gravy, apple pie, brownies, and grapes. I'm still searching for food! I think I'm going to take a jar of peanut butter and go down to your galaxy. Care to come cook for me?"

"Maybe later. Love you sister. Call me if you need anything." I giggled as I put the phone on the counter, finished my business, and stood up. Carefully I hopped over to the sink and washed my hands. I looked over at the shower and bit my lip. "Maybe later," I mumbled as I dried my hands.

"Maybe later what, doll?" Pat asked from the room.

"I'm decent. I was just looking at the shower," I replied as he graced me with his presence. I turned around, holding onto the counter, and looked him over. "You look like you didn't sleep well. Did I toss and turn too much? Did I kick you?"

"No, doll. I'm fine. I slept pretty good; I feel rested. It's just a little early for me. Not everyone has the sun running through their veins and can just start the day with a smile like you do," he teased as he stepped closer, causing me to snicker softly. He handed me a half tablet of a pain pill, reached around me and filled up the glass in his hand, and gave it to me. I obediently took it and placed my hands on his hips. He tangled one hand in my hair and held onto my hip, teasing me with his lips, but not allowing me to kiss him. "Although, waking up next to you and hearing you giggle just now, is a really good way to start the day," he breathed as he inched closer yet. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back as he pressed his lips fervently against mine. When he broke away, I leaned against the counter and I'm certain I had a foolish grin on my face. I looked up at him as I shook my head and pushed him away, but held onto his shirt. He held his hands up defensively but smiled largely at me.

"Stop it, mister! You leave me dumbfounded and I'm certain you're siphoning my sunshine," I teased. I pulled him back to me. He came willingly and with a smile on his face, his hands resting in the same spot they were before. "But I can't stay away," I whispered as our lips collided again. He picked me up and sat me on the counter as he began to kiss down my neck, his hand scrunching my hair. "Pat!" I breathed as he moved up my jaw. "Couch!" I ordered as I gasped for air. He grinned and brought his lips back to mine, sliding me my phone and moving both hands to my hips. I paused long enough to pick up the phone, then wrapped both arms around his neck. Slowly, he moved me to the edge of the counter, wrapping my legs around him. I crossed my right leg over my left, locking him in my grasp. His right hand leisurely made it's way up my back, resting between my shoulder blades as his left hand held on tightly to my waist. Another deep kiss, and suddenly, I was floating. I broke apart and looked at him. "No crashing," I begged in a hushed tone.

"No crashing," he confirmed as he kissed my nose. I giggled and buried my head in his shoulder as he moved us out to the living room. His right hand reached back and grabbed my left leg. "I love having you in my arms, doll, but I do need this leg now," he whispered. I allowed him to pull it over and put it next to my right leg, both resting by his left hip. He cradled me in his arms as he sat down. His eyes met mine and he grinned mischievously as he rubbed my back. "Kissing or movie?"

"You look like you could use more sleep," I replied I as rubbed the dark circles under his eyes. He kept me in his arms and lay down, his head on the arm of the couch. "That's better," I confirmed as I gave him another kiss. He pulled me under him slightly as goosebumps raised on my arm. He pulled back and I pouted. "You can kiss me more. I won't stop you." He chuckled.

"Yes, ma'am. However, you should be a little more cautious. That's a dangerous thing to tell me. I never want to be apart from you and if you don't set boundaries, let's just say you'll drive me wild and I may cross lines you're not ready for yet. Lines that I'm not ready for yet," he murmured as he kissed up my jawline. I grinned. He ran his left hand all the way up my side, lightly traced my right arm, pulled the phone from my hand, and set it on the table by our heads. Then he took my hand and moved it to his face. Gently he kissed every finger. I closed my eyes as my body shivered involuntarily. "My sweet little minx, are you cold?" He teased. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was grinning ear to ear and looking at me tenderly.

"No, sir. I blame you. You say I'm the one with all the power," I giggled as I took a deep breath.

"You do have all the power, doll. I'm just the vessel you store it in, and it is a very powerful force" he murmured. I rubbed his cheek, he rubbed my hand, and we gazed at each other. "You are quite addictive, doll. I can't get enough. Did I go too far?" I kissed his jaw.

"I rather enjoyed that. Your boundary lines still seem to be in tact," I admitted. "You make me feel special, loved, cherished, desired, and just amazing. I love being in your arms. I love you kissing me. I'll let you know if my boundary lines ever start to get blurry." He smiled at me.

"Good. Because I love having you here. I really love kissing you. You make me feel the same way, doll," Pat whispered. He kissed my forehead. "We have some time. You should rest some."

"Only if you rest too. Jess agreed to breakfast at seven. Baby's keeping her up. Crazy food cravings I guess. I didn't mean to make you worry," I stated. Pat stroked my hair tenderly.

"I know, doll. You're fine. You have good instincts. You just need to trust them more," he murmured. He reached above his head and felt around for the something. I looked up and he chuckled, causing me to look back at him. "Keep those eyes locked on me, Sarah. You're my whole world," he whispered as he kissed me again. The music turned on and I jumped. "Sorry, doll. A little background noise to help you relax. At least one more hour of sleeping. You're tense." I bit my lip.

"I don't know why and it really bothers me. The house is locked up?" I inquired. Pat nodded. "And outside, we have no guests? The neighborhood isn't on fire? There's no cop car outside? No flashing lights? No masked gunman outside?"

"All is quiet, doll. You have nothing to worry about, right here at this time. You're safe. We're together. I got you, love. There's nothing wrong," he confirmed. I bit my lip again and looked down. "Sarah," he whispered. I looked into his eyes and smiled. "If you can't sleep, will you read to me?"

"What are you, like four years old?" I teased. He chuckled and handed me the book I had left by the lamp. "Grapes of Wrath. Where I left off or the beginning? I'm not that far into it. I've actually never had this problem before; it's hard for me to get into this book! I don't like it. I mean I like this book; I just don't like that I'm not further into it yet." Pat chuckled softly and kissed my cheek.

"Where you left off is fine. I just love listening to your voice. Can I rest my head on your shoulder?" Pat asked. I nodded as he yawned. He positioned me so I was laying flat on my back, then he covered my body with his, putting most of his weight on his right hip, as he put his head down on my left shoulder. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting the book on his shoulder. "Lift your legs up, doll," he whispered and I followed directions. He bent his right knee and stuck it under my legs. "Is this comfortable for you?" I nodded as he pushed his left leg straight off the arm of the couch. I sighed and wiggled my hips so he was curved around me more. He chuckled and pulled his left leg up, trapping mine.

"Your metal leg is cold," I whispered. He kissed my cheek again.

"I can get a blanket," he murmured. I shook my head and traced the cool metal with my toes on my right foot as I opened the book. He was just warm enough that I didn't feel chilled, but his cool leg helped me from falling asleep immediately; I didn't want to go back to sleep until I knew what was wrong. Pat had other plans though. I could tell he wanted me to sleep and was doing everything he could to try and tire me out; if I didn't know better, he enjoyed lulling me to sleep. His right hand rested on my head and played with my hair, his left arm snaked around my waist. I began to read, and his hand behind my back drew small circles. With every syllable, I felt my eyes getting heavier. When I finished the chapter, I yawned, reached above my head, and put it down on the end table. I played with Pat's hair and rested my right arm on his shoulder as I felt the sleep winning. I closed my eyes as Pat grabbed my hand and held it by my head. I nodded and leaned into him. He kissed my neck and sighed. Before long I was sleeping again. "Wake up, beautiful," Pat whispered as he softly kissed me and rubbed my side. I grinned, kissed his neck, and opened eyes. "It's 6:15."

"My alarm didn't go off!" I exclaimed trying to bolt upright. He chuckled and kissed me again. I giggled and relaxed into the couch again. "I like waking up to you instead. Did you sleep some too?"

"It did, doll. I shut it off twenty minutes ago and just let you sleep more; you didn't even stir. I slept too and feel nice and refreshed. My watch went off five minutes ago and I've been debating if I should wake you or just continue to watch you while you sleep. You're so peaceful. I love watching you all the time, but you don't get at mad at me for staring when you're asleep. However, I also know you don't like to be late and if you agreed to meet your sister for breakfast at seven, then you gotta get up. Besides, it means I get to kiss you again," he explained with a hint of a chuckle. He released my hand and stroked my hair again. "I love how you wake up with a smile." I giggled and kissed him. Then I wiggled free and sat up. He rolled to his side and rubbed my back. "Would you like help back to the room so you can get dressed?" 

"Are you trying to see me without my clothes on?" I teased. He sat up and kissed my neck.

"Of course not, doll. I was just curious if you wanted help. We left your crutches in the room," he stated. I leaned into him as he wrapped both arms around my waist. "I don't mind the clothes. I think you're beautiful as you are. Dragon breath, messy hair and all," he teased. I covered my mouth with my hand and looked at him in shock. He chuckled softly and pulled my hand down. "Kidding, doll. You don't have bad breath, body odor, or anything else; there's nothing stinky about you. You're simply beautiful and amazing. I don't need to see you without clothes on to think that. You don't need to prove anything to me."

"Wasn't trying to prove anything. You can help me to the room, but I set the alarm so I could shower. Thank you for letting me sleep instead. I enjoyed it. I love you, dear," I replied as I looked over my shoulder and kissed his cheek. He grinned and picked me up. 

"Love you too, 'Nettie," he whispered as he made his way back to the bedroom. Once he entered the room, I pulled him in for another kiss. He smiled around it as he pulled back. "You're going to be late for school if we keep that behavior up, doll," he teased as he stood me up by the dresser. He moved to the bathroom and brought me back my crutches.

"Well my behavior depends on which man I have in front of me. Now is it Pat or Benji? Because if I have Benji, all I have to do is say please, stick my lip out a little, and he'll take me back to bed. If I have Pat, well then things are a little more serious. However, the kisses from either of them are beyond compare," I murmured. He came closer. I bit my lip in anticipation.

"You have a man that loves you. Does it matter which one?" I shook my head and he placed his hand on my jaw, his thumb running over my chin. He stepped closer still, but he left some space between our bodies. I desperately wanted to be closer and he was teasing every part of me. I tried to pull him in and he chuckled, shaking his head and pushing my hands down. "You have to get ready for school, but all you have to do is ask and I'll bow to your every desire, my queen." I grinned and pulled him closer.

"You know, I don't have to show up right away," I whispered. He pecked my cheek as his stomach growled. We both laughed. 

"You're asking for trouble. We can continue this conversation after you come home. Get dressed, doll. I'll see you in a few. I'm going to make some coffee and some toast. Want some?"

"Coffee? No thanks. A piece of toast wouldn't be bad I guess," I replied as I kissed his cheek. "Thanks, dear."

"Love you, 'Nettie," he murmured as kissed my forehead. "In order to meet your family on time for breakfast, we need to leave in like five minutes, doll. I'll get your bag ready. Do you need the laptop today?" I nodded.

"I do. Thank you. I love you too, Benji," I replied as I turned back around and looked at the mirror as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Looking at my reflection, I whispered, "I still don't like you." The mirror still gave me the heevy-jeevies. I knew that someone wasn't behind there watching me, but without Pat by my side, I was feeling insecure again. I shook my head and quickly got dressed. I moved over to the bed as I tried to adjust my jeans over my cast. I groaned in frustration as I tried to twist my jeans over my cast, causing unnecessary pain to shoot through my leg. "Pat," I yelled. I heard his footsteps in the hallway before he tapped on the door lightly. "Come in, dear," I stated. He opened the door and looked at me.

"Everything alright, doll?"

"Could you help me with my pants? The zipper is in the back, but it needs to be on the side. The pant leg is all twisted  and I'm not very good about adjusting them while I'm sitting down for some stupid reason. I need you and your gentle touch please! I've hurt myself already, and for some crazy reason, people don't like me to stand up as I try to get dressed properly," I stated as I pointed to my propped up leg. He grinned and came over.

"I'd be happy to help, doll," he replied as he picked up my leg. He adjusted my pants then walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of socks. "Your toes are icy. What type of shoe do you want on left foot?" 

"A tennis shoe will be just fine. Thank you," I replied. He dug through the closet and pulled out a navy with white highlights running shoe and brought it over. "You're too good for me," I stated as he covered my feet.

"I think it's time that we add color to this cast. I bought some permanent colored markers," he stated as pulled the zipper on my leg down slightly. Only a small portion of my cast was revealed now. I grinned and shook my head; with it being covered most of the way, it really didn't need any color. "Silly girl," he chuckled. "Come on, let's go." He pulled me up to a standing position. "Our pre-breakfast snack should be ready. Then we need to go." I nodded and grabbed my crutches. "Oh no you don't," he teased as he picked me up and carried me out. I giggled. He set me down on one of the breakfast stools. He kissed my temple and moved to the kitchen. He slid me a slice of toast and a glass of orange juice then looked at his watch. He pressed his lips together. "If you want to meet your family at seven we have to go. You can take the juice with you," he informed me. I nodded and downed the juice then stood up again. He chuckled as he poured himself some coffee in a travel mug. I slung my bag over my shoulder as he came around the breakfast nook and grabbed my crutches. "May I carry you please, doll?" I grinned and grabbed the plate of toast.

"I'd be honored, sir," I exclaimed. He grinned and picked me up. I kissed his cheek as he carried me to the door. "I love you, Benji," I whispered as I opened to door.

"I love you too, my sweet Sarah," he murmured and closed the door behind him. He looked down at me and grinned. "I haven't told you lately that I like hearing you call me Benji, but I do really love hearing it. I'm only him for you," he teased. I giggled then opened the door to his truck. He placed me inside and cupped both hands around my jaw. Gently he stroked my cheek and bent his head in, keeping his face just out of reach of my lips. "Is this what you wanted in the bedroom?" I nodded. He grinned, rubbed my nose with his, and tucked my hair behind my ear. I leaned in and kissed him, holding onto his side and tracing up his shoulder. He pressed his lips tighter against mine, causing me to inhale sharply and part my lips. He pulled back slowly and grinned at me. He lowered one hand to my lap. I was lost in his eyes. "You're drunk, doll," he murmured. I grinned and looked down. He lifted my chin up. "It's okay. So am I. Let's eat," he whispered as he lifted up a slice of toast off my lap. I giggled and kissed his jaw.

"I love you. Thanks for making me laugh," I replied sincerely. He smiled at me as he stroked my jaw one more time then shut the door and walked around the truck, eating his toast as he went. I grinned and grabbed a slice myself. I lifted the center seat up, slid over, and buckled up as he climbed in. He smiled warmly at me as he started the truck and took off down the road. I took his coffee out of his hands and set it between my legs. I let him eat his toast, as well as another slice, before I tucked myself under his arm.

"I have no idea how you wake up so cheerful all the time. I love having you in my arms, doll, but I really need this liquid gold," he remarked as he pulled his arm out from behind me and grabbed his coffee. I giggled and sat up. I pulled the brush out of my bag and quickly did my hair, pulling my locks into a braided headband. He placed the coffee back in between my legs then stroked my left leg tenderly. "Tyler is probably going to want to take you around school today, huh?"

"Most likely. Renae refuses to see him everyday. It drives him up the wall and he's all for seeing her any chance he can," I admitted with a smirk as I looked back at him and secured my hair in place. I ruffled the hair that was left down and once again met his eye. I was floored that his eyes seemed to melt as he met my eye for a moment. "I should have done that with you. Instead, I move in and flip your world upside down," I teased. He gave me a smile as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"My world has never been better. But you flipped it from day one. So you can say you drove me just as crazy as Renae is driving Tyler; if not more," he confessed. I reached down and grabbed his hand and squeezed it affectionately. "Tell me something, doll." I opened my mouth to say something and he lifted both of our hands to my lips. He grinned. "You spill so quickly, you rarely let me finish my thoughts. I would appreciate it if you gave me two seconds," he teased. I kissed his hand and waited for him to finish. "Are you happy with me? After all, it's like you said, the relationship was kinda thrust upon us because you moved in and disturbed my peace - not that I mind." He moved our hands away from my face, keeping them in the air, and I smiled at him.

"Definitely. Pat, I love being with you, and I never want to leave your side. Being your roommate is just a bonus. So are you happy?" 

"Exceptionally. I love having you as a roommate, but I love even more that you're my girl, my baby doll. Now you may spill another fun trivia fact," he replied as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers.

"I want to throw paint balloons at you," I told him. He chuckled and put our hands in my lap. He turned his head and gave me an amused smirk. "Actually, I want to throw them in your house, at the walls. I'll wear shorts and any residual splatter that just so happens to cover my cast-"

"Will give it the pop of color," he finished for me as he looked back at the road. "You want to paint my house?" I bit my lip and shook my head. I loved the way the house was, as well as the color scheme. "Then I'm not sure I understand."

"I want to get dirty with you. I think is what it boils down to. Do something crazy. Live life, bursting in colors. You're always so neat and tidy. I often feel out of place with you because I could care less. I care but I don't have to have everything put away all the time," I rambled, fixing my eyes on our entwined fingers.

"You worry about the wrong things, doll. Any mess can be cleaned up," he retorted. He squeezed my hand softly. "You are probably the only person I wouldn't mind making a mess in our house, doll. It's your home too. Whatever you want to do, no matter how crazy, I'll join you. This sounds a little different than the colored rain, slime, playdough, and sensory bags you made with Dalton. What would you call this?" 

"A color war. It doesn't have to be paint. Or inside. I don't want to redecorate really. I love how warm and welcoming it feels now. I can use cornstarch and food coloring. You have a great back yard. And yes, Dalton would love this project too, but I want it to be me and you mostly. Josh and Tyler are immature enough to enjoy it too, but right now, you and I are kinda on even footing," I admitted as I held up my right leg.

"No we're not; I can run, you can't," he retorted.

"Fine! Then I'll hide your leg one night and we'll be even the next day," I teased. He laughed and squeezed my hand. "Admit it, you love me."

"And all your quirks. Even if you are a tad bit devious. Just be warned, if you hide my leg, I get one of your crutches, but I like having my arms to hold you. So don't. Now, a color war, huh?" Pat chuckled. I looked back up at him. "That sounds delightful, doll. How about we wait until you can stand on both feet again? The more the merrier, right?" I nodded. He continued, "then we'll wait until you aren't exactly a sitting duck."

"Deal," I giggled as I leaned into his arm, holding his bicep and his hand. Pat kissed the top of head. "Your turn. Tell me a random fact."

"I have never met anyone so beautiful. You're captivating," he replied.

"I knew that one. You tell me it daily," I retorted as I looked up at him. He met my eyes momentarily before looking at the road again. "Tell me something new," I demanded. He grinned.

"Okay. I've always been jealous of siblings. I hated being an only child," he confessed. I smiled as he continued, "I love the relationship you have with Noah. I love that Jess and Tyler have adopted you as their sister too. I'm sorry that you can't see your little sister, but I'm jealous that I've never had that sibling rivalry growing up."

"I don't miss talking to Annabelle. She was as bad as Dad with her treatment towards me - verbally at least. I haven't thought of her in over a month. You had Josh. That has to count for something," I replied.

"It's Josh, doll. By the time I met him, we were both teenagers. I didn't grow up with him, per say. Ten years is all I've know him, you've known your brother for 17 years. It's a big difference. Josh is my best friend and what I assume a brother would be like, but our connection isn't as good as you and Noah or Tyler and Jess," Pat explained as he turned off the highway. I nodded.

"Both are bad examples for sibling relationships," I countered. "Two families from abusive homes, where the kids found strength in each other. That makes their bond different than everyone else. Gives you a biased reading." 

"Linda and her two sisters and three brothers," Pat countered as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot and turned off his truck. He stroked my cheek tenderly, giving me his full attention. "Joe and his two brothers. Kevin and his two sisters; you've met one: Trish. Justin has a brother that comes in every now and then. I could keep going. Joe can't stand one of his brothers, but they still talk about twice a month. Those relationships I just pointed out are great too, but I'll admit, the relationship you have with Noah tops them all. I just wish I had a sibling too, not just an adopted-ish brother."

"That's sweet. I'm sorry you didn't grow up with any siblings. Your mom was an exceptional woman who raised a wonderful son. I'm sure if she had any more kids, they would be just as great and everyone would be envious of your sibling relationship," I murmured as I leaned in. He kissed me tenderly. I pulled back and blushed as my stomach growled. "Guess we should go eat," I whispered. He chuckled and got out of the truck.

"We'll take your crutches inside, but I'm going to carry you," he stated. I grinned and grabbed the crutches in the front seat as he slid me across the seat. "I'm going to meet you back at your brother's place after breakfast."

"Sounds good. Thanks, dear," I murmured as I kissed him again. We went inside and met up with Jess and Tyler. "Where's Noah?" I asked as I sat across the table from Tyler and Pat sat in the seat to my right.

"Sleeping. I didn't want to wake the bear. We'll order him some food that you can take him," Jess stated. I nodded. 

"Jess, did you two come in separate cars?" Pat asked after the waitress took our order and he rubbed my hand. Jess shook her head. "Then I believe I'm taking you home. I'll be your company until 'Nettie is done at school." He looked mischievously at Tyler. "She's certain you want to take her," he stated. Tyler grinned.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" Tyler teased me. 

"Oh, I don't know. A blank canvas," I stated as I slouched a little then propped my foot on his lap. "She's been preoccupied with something else lately," I teased. The whole table laughed. "Guess age really isn't a factor. You were afraid of the eight years with me."

"With the right person, seven or eight years doesn't matter," Tyler noted as I withdrew my foot and sat up tall again. "Never would have met her without you, 'Nettie." I grinned. The rest of breakfast passed quickly, full of laughter. When we were finished Tyler looked at me. "Guess it's time to go back to school," he stated. I grinned, stood up, leaned over, and kissed Pat.

"Love you, sir," I whispered.

"Love you too, ma'am," he replied as he gave me my crutches. "Your phone is in your bag, on vibrate. Take your time." I grinned. He pulled me closer. "You really want to salute me right now, don't you?" He teased almost inaudibly. I nodded as I kissed his cheek. "At ease, soldier. Thanks for driving me wild, doll. I'll see you soon. Love you." He kissed my cheek as I stood up and placed my crutches under my arms and he met my eye. "Find your answers. Your instincts don't lead you astray too often; you just need to act on them more," he ordered in a soft and comforting tone. I nodded. I had planned on checking up on Esther today too. 

"Thank you. We should have brought some food for Jess," I replied. He looked over at her and smiled. 

"I can cook something for her if she needs. I've learned a lot from you this past month or two. Don't worry about us, doll," he replied around a smirk. I nodded and moved away, meeting my brother at the door.

"You ready?" Tyler asked. I nodded and he led me to his car, carrying Noah's food. "Everything alright?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know," I confessed as we took off down the road. I rubbed my left shoulder and moved it up and down. "I need to practice with these more. That was difficult. Maybe I just need to ban Pat from carrying me any more." Tyler just laughed at me. We found Noah in the office and gave him his food first. Then we made our way through all of my classes. I turned in my assignments, took a few tests, and had all my teachers sign that I was there. When we got to Mrs. King's class, I pulled out the laptop and showed her the webpage. "With the exception of a few pictures, this is mostly done," I confessed as I eased myself into a chair. My arm was aching, my leg was throbbing, and I was starting to feel dizzy. She clicked on all my links as the bell for homeroom rang. I tensed. The bell was one of the frequencies that was used in my room at the complex. Tyler noticed me flinch but didn't say anything; he just pursed his lips and looked at his feet. 

"Annette, this looks wonderful! Do you want to add the final pictures or would you like me to? I can add this to the school site immediately! I love how you gave everyone a different background," Mrs. King praised. I grinned. 

"If it's acceptable as is, I can turn it in. I don't mind waiting to get the final pictures," I told her. She shook her head and gave me her email. 

"I can add the pictures; the ones you left blank still haven't turned in their own submissions for the senior slide show either. I'm sure we have some from yearbook. Thanks, Annette," Mrs. King stated as she left the room. I zipped the whole project up and emailed her one big file, then put my computer back in my bag. Tyler helped me stand up again. 

"Let's go have Mr. Trattles sign this too. I need to check on a friend," I insisted. Tyler grinned and seemed to have a pep in his step. "You need to check on her, I need to check on someone else." He gave me a confused glance as he walked beside me. I bit my lip in frustration as my pain climbed. I moved around the homeroom class and bit my lip and looked around the room as Mr. Trattles signed my paperwork. Esther wasn't here. Renae and Tyler were talking quietly in the corner as I approached them. "Hey Nae. Sorry to interrupt. Have you seen Esther today?"

"No. Actually, come to think of it, I haven't seen her since Wednesday," she admitted. I nodded and moved over to the football players. They all looked at me and grinned.

"Hey, Annette! You back?" Dan asked politely. I smiled at him, grateful he was trying to include me in the conversation.

"Sorry, guys, just checking in. I'm sorry to interrupt," I stated as I looked at Derek. "Can I have Esther's phone number please? I have a project that I have to finish up. I need her help," I lied. 

"She won't pick up," he laughed. I narrowed my eyes slightly at him and hardened my gaze. "Hey. We broke up like two weeks ago. She hasn't picked up the phone since for anyone. Here. This is her number." Derek slid me a piece of paper. I looked at it quickly and then smiled at him. 

"Thank you. See ya next week, guys. Good luck on senior night tomorrow. And on the final game next week," I replied as I made my way out of the room. I leaned against the wall, pausing for a minute and while I waited for Tyler. I rubbed my left shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Annette!" Derek exclaimed, startling me. I opened my eyes and met his. He shifted uncomfortably in front of me.

"What's up, Derek?" I asked politely. He sighed and looked back towards the door. He sighed again and came another step closer. 

"Please. Stop by her house," he spoke softly. I gave him a confused look. He took the paper out of my hand and wrote her address on it. "You might be the only person she'll open the door for. Don't apologize on my behalf, but I don't think she's okay. Keep it on the down low. The guys can't know." I nodded and he ducked back into the classroom. I bit my lip as I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. What happened? Derek was one of the sweetest guys in the class. He was concerned but was putting on a show for the rest of the class. It wasn't cool to be fawning over an ex, no matter how much you still cared. I sighed and made my way down the hall. Tyler was soon beside me.

"You look sickly, 'Nettie. Everything okay?" He asked, placing a hand in my back. I shook my head as we made our way into principal's office. Tyler leaned against the doorframe as Principal Lane looked up at me. I pulled both crutches into my left hand as I sat down and showed him the paperwork then I rubbed my shoulder again. 

"Two more weeks, sir. I should be able to use these without feeling like my arm is going to fall off. Sooner I hope. Right now though, that's exactly how my arm feels and I also feel like I'm going to pass out," I stated as he looked over my work. He nodded.

"You're doing just fine, Annette. Thank you for continuing to come back. You are still excelling in your classes. You made high honor roll for the first quarter. You are the only 4.0 student in your class. At the moment, the closest person to you has a 3.2 average. I've never seen senioritis hit a class so hard, so early. Keep up the good work. I'll see you next Friday," Principal Lane confirmed. I grinned and moved to stand up. Tyler came over, helped ease me to a standing position, and nodded at the principal politely. "Good to see you again, son. Have a good day, kids."

"Thank you, sir," Tyler stated politely as we headed out of the school. Just then the bell rang. I paused, shook my head, closed my eyes, and pressed one hand to my ear. When the ringing stopped, I took a deep breath and moved forward again. "Why do the bells bother you, 'Nettie?" Tyler asked. I looked at him in shock. "Never mind. I should know better. They're on a schedule here. That should make it easier for you. Home?" I shook my head as I loaded up in his car.

"I need to go see a friend first," I stated as he got in as well. I showed him the address and showed him where to go. "If she lets me stay, I'll get a ride home or call for one," I promised. "I can't give you a time frame though."

"That's fine, Annette. I understand," Tyler stated as he pulled up into her driveway. "I'm staying right here until you wave me away." I nodded and got out of the car. Slowly I made my way up to the front door. She had three concrete stairs that I had to go up. I bit my lip and turned around, not trusting myself to go up the stairs with the crutches without a handrail. I sat down and climbed up that way. Finally at the door, I rang the doorbell.

"Esther! It's Annette," I yelled once I heard movement. The deadbolt clicked as the door opened. She peeked from behind the door but didn't open it all the way. "I was wondering if you would like someone to play hooky with today. I miss seeing you," I stated warmly as I gave her a smile. She opened the door and let me in. I looked back at Tyler and waved him away. He waved back at me and backed out of the driveway. I came into Esther's house, closed the door behind me, and she led me to the kitchen.

"Can I get you something to drink or eat?" She offered. I noticed her tugging on her long sleeve shirt. Her eyes were sunken and it looked like she had been crying. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry to drop in unannounced, but I wanted to check on you. I've been concerned," I told her truthfully. She nodded and collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs. "Concerned! I'm worried about her! She's in rough shape," my mind screamed.

"Mom called me in. It'd be nice to have a friend over," she confessed.

"Are you home alone?" I asked. She nodded. "Are you okay?" She shook her head and met my eye.

"I messed up, Annette," she wept. She pulled back her sleeves and showed me her wrists.

"Esther!" I gasped as I looked at the deep gashes; they were fresh. I moved over to the sink and pulled out one of the towels and a pair of scissors. I soaked the towel in water and came back over to her and began to clean and bandage her wounds. "Are you alright? You are so beautiful. Your life is precious."

"I don't feel alright. I started cutting. All because I can't deal with the pain. The fresh blood gives me a release. I know it's not healthy. Derek asked me to sleep with him. I told him I wasn't ready, so he dumped me. In front of everyone. Called me a good for nothing s**t and told me to stop whoring around. But he only did that because I caught him making out with a sophomore. I never gave him a reason to doubt my affections, at the same time, I'm glad he dumped me because I don't want to be with an unfaithful partner. It hurt that he called me a cheater in front of so many people; I ignored it and kept going to school. Tuesday, after school, I was walking home and was approached by three football players. 'If you're such a s**t, kiss me, baby. Let me see your chest. Show some skin. Tell me, what do w****s do on the side? Or should I say who?' I wish I could say that was the worst," she wept. I opened my arms and embraced her. "Annette, I'm sorry. I shouldn't burden you with this." She pulled back and tried to dry her eyes. 

"Esther! Don't you dare think that! No one should go through this alone. I'm so sorry," I whispered. "A break up caused this? What type of mindset were you in if this is your release?! Derek, would love to slap you! How dare you call her that," I thought angrily. My mind reeled as I tried to think of something to say. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm here for you, hun. But if you want me to leave, I'll leave. You're my friend, Esther. I don't want you to be alone," I stated firmly. "I don't have any plans until next Friday. I can stay as long as you like." She nodded.

"Thanks, Annette. You're a good friend. I appreciate having someone around who won't judge me. Thank you. Mom won't mind if you spend the night. Are you sure you don't mind? I could really just use a friend," she whispered. I nodded.

"Absolutely, hun. I'm going to call my family really quick. Somebody will probably swing by in the next half hour or so with some clothes. My brother-in-law dropped me off," I explained. She nodded. I took off my bag and dug for my phone. It wasn't in the big pouch. I opened the small zippered pocket on the outside. There was my phone with the bank card. I pulled out the phone and called Pat.

"Hi, beautiful," he murmured tenderly.

"Hey, dear. I'm sorry, but I'm not coming home for awhile. I don't know how long. I'm going to hang out with my friend."

"Your goofy feeling this morning about her then was spot on. Is she okay?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Is she suicidal?"

"You can say that," I replied as I looked over Esther again. She was crumpled in a ball, sobbing into her knees. I bit my lip and looked around her kitchen, pleased to see no sharp knives were out. I let out a sigh of relief. 

"Was that a good sigh?"

"Yes."

"Okay, doll. If you need anything at all, you can call me, but I know she couldn't be in better hands. This doesn't leave this family. Take care of her. Looks like Jess is rounding you up some clothes. Should I get you some pain pills? Your brother still has some left over here. It won't be a problem, would it?" Pat asked kindly. I bit my lip and looked over Esther again. If she was willing to cut herself, having any opioids on hand wouldn't be a wise idea. As if he could read my mind, Pat spoke up, "doll? I know you won't say anything with her in front of you because you want to protect her. Yes or no. Did she abuse drugs?"

"No."

"Is she depressed?"

"Yes."

"Did she show you what's wrong?"

"Yes."

"Did she hurt herself, physically?"

"Yes."

"Did she cut her wrists?"

"Yes."

"Has she ever done this before?"

"No."

"Is she holding a razor to her skin now?"

"No?"

"Are the cuts recent?"

"Yes."

"Are they deep?"

"Uh. Not really. But at the same time, yeah."

"Okay. Is she in immediate danger of going back to cutting?" 

"I don't think so."

"Are you afraid she'll go from one extreme to another?"

"Very much so," I admitted.

"Okay. Well you need your pain pills. You won't be any good to her if you end up passing out; Tyler told me what you told the principal. I'll give you six full pills. It should be enough for four days. Use sparingly, but wisely," he instructed. 

"Yes, dear," I replied. I looked at Esther again. "Pat, I love you. I'm going to turn my phone off."

"Love you too, Sarah. I understand. Take care of your friend. I'll see you when I see you. Don't worry about me," he ordered. 

"Thanks for understanding," I murmured.

"Of course, doll. This isn't a situation to be joking around with. Love you," he replied.

"Love you too, dear. Bye." I hung up then sent Renae a message, "tell Derek I'm in - privately. He'll know." Then I turned off my phone as I turned my attention back to my friend. "Esther, can I show you something?" She sat up and looked at me. Then nodded. I pulled out my computer again, logged in, and showed her the webpage I set up. I clicked on her page. The background was a soft lavender with black paisley design on top. At the top of her page was her name: Esther Sullivan in an elegant font, topped with twinkling stars so her name sparkled and shined. Below was a picture of her, leaning backwards in a swing. The picture looked upside down, but her smile was radiant and you were instantly drawn to her face. Her wavy caramel hair seemed to almost touch the ground, and her burgundy light flannel shirt made her hazel eyes pop. One leg was stretched up in the air with a black flip flop and red toes. Her skinny jeans made her leg look nice and long. In the top left and bottom right corner, I put an eggplant shadowed butterfly, with a white diamond star. Beneath her picture was bullet points of what the class thought of her: smart, fun, and friendly. Finally I ended the page with her goal. "Esther loves animals, big and small. Her big heart, carefree spirit, and care for those without a voice has lead her on the path of veterinary school. She plans on finishing school and coming back to our lovely town to give our local residents an affordable option for caring for their pets." I watched her reaction as she took it all in.

"You did this?" Esther exclaimed. I nodded. 

"The class chose adjectives to describe you, hun," I explained as I opened up my spreadsheet. "I typed everything that everyone wrote. The most negative thing on here is that you are shy. I took the most popular three. I was actually surprised, not one person was bashed with the way the class described them. The pictures were a little trickier, but that's only because I wanted to show a side of everyone that would just pull others in. You provided me with four pictures to choose from. I loved this one the most. It's also the one that met the descriptiond the best."

"Annette, this is. Wow! This is remarkable. Thank you," she mumbled softly as she continued to look at it.

"You're welcome. Screw - oops! Sorry. Wrong word choice. Uh. Forget those crazy guys and their finicky thoughts about you! You are amazing and beautiful. I have no doubt that you can do great things," I stated firmly. Esther nodded slightly. "If you don't think you can, think of all those cats and dogs that need you," I teased. She giggled under her breath. I smiled. This was a start. 

"Can I go through all of these?" She asked. 

"Feel free. Can I rummage through your cupboards?" I inquired. She gave me a sideways glance. "I'm going to whip up something to eat. Comfort food. So do you prefer sweet or savory?"

"Sweet," she admitted. I grinned and looked through her cupboards quickly. After taking note of what they had, I pulled out the ingredients for baked fudge. Sweet, rich, and delicious. A cross between pudding and a brownie. To top it off, they had the ingredients for homemade ice cream too. Perfect combo, at any time of day. After I put the fudge in the oven, I moved back to the table and looked at Esther. I began shaking my bag of ice cream. "You're selling yourself short on this, Annette," she stated. I gave her a confused glance. "Annette has a passion to see people smile, especially kids. Her creativity is shown as she works on putting a smile on their face. Her desire is to teach kindergarten so that she can always share her childlike joy. Qualities: smart, serene, and jolly," she read. "I think you're selling yourself short. Amazing, beautiful, friendly, gentle, strong, clever, powerful, or even enthusiastic would be better qualities for you. You draw people in. Even this picture! I want to know more," she insisted as she looked at me. I looked at the picture and giggled. 

"That's not the picture I chose for myself! My brother must have been looking over my shoulder and fixed it after I went to bed; I'm glad that he did. It fits. I just threw one in and was wary over each one of myself; I hate having my picture displayed so I just went with it. Mine was the first one I completed so I had a template on how to do the rest," I replied as I gazed upon a picture that Pat had taken of me at the dam, the one of me looking over my shoulder at the water, not smiling yet still happy. The very one that I had considered deleting. The picture was cropped and now you could see my face better. "The picture I chose for myself, I was in sweats with a messy bun, reading a book."

"Well that being said, this is an amazing picture. It screams you. You look so peaceful. So happy. If I didn't know you, this picture would make me want to get to know you. And I love this shade of yellow! So warm. It's like sunshine, like you," she remarked. I grinned. I felt that way too, but I couldn't tell her I couldn't go back to that color ever. She grabbed the bag from me and kept shaking it. "You did a great job with this webpage. Nobody else could have done a better job. It's so positive, all the way through. I love the group picture too. Thanks for sharing, Annette," she murmured. I grinned and closed my laptop, putting it back in my bag. 

"What would you like to do today?" I asked as I took the ice cream back from her and put it in the freezer. I then quickly cleaned up my mess. I looked back at her, she was zoning out and rubbing her forearms absent-mindedly. I smiled at her and sat down again. I could just do quiet too. She jumped when there was a knock on her door. "Remember, I told you my family would be dropping off some clothes. Do you want me to answer the door?" She nodded. I reached over and squeezed her hand. "Don't hurt yourself again, please?" I begged. She nodded again. I picked up both crutches and made my way to the door. "Hey, Jess," I remarked as I opened the door. 

"I set up two salon appointments for tomorrow morning. 11:30. Haircuts, color, mani, pedi. The info is on a card in the bag, as well as some cash to pay for it," she signed as she gave me a travel bag. At the same time, she vocally responded, "I'm glad you're spending time with your friends, 'Nettie! Noah and I will see you later. Tyler says have fun at your sleepover."

"Was the appointment for you and me?" I signed back. She shook her head. "Thank you, Jess. Love you. Make Noah cook for you tonight," I teased. She grinned. I peeked around the corner and waved at Tyler who was waiting in the car. He waved back and gave me a small smile.

"You and me are having a girls day, full salon massage and everything, before Junior comes out. Pat doesn't know this, but he's paying for tomorrow. He's spoiling you," she signed. I grinned and nodded; he always did. "Oh, he'll cook for me alright. Junior has been very hungry lately. It's your brother's fault I'm always hungry, so Noah will be doing nothing but cooking," she giggled as she made her way down the steps. I made my way back to the table and looked at the time. I had about three minutes left before my baked fudge was done. I put my bag on the seat and moved over to the counter. Esther was still curled up in a ball. I bit my lip. I had no idea how to reach out to her. I leaned against the counter as I mentally ticked down the seconds waiting for the fudge to be done.

"Annette," Esther stated as she stood up. I looked over at her and smiled. She had picked up my bag. "Would you like me to show you the spare bedroom?"

"In fifteen seconds," I replied with a wink. I moved over to stove, propped both crutches under my left arm and pulled out the fudge. I turned off the oven and looked at her. "Okay. I'm ready now." She grinned and took me down the hallway and turned into the first door on the right. A periwinkle room with lacy blue bedding and pillows, a white wicker bench was under the window, and pictures of teddy bears and stuffed animals were on the wall. 

"This was Ilene's room. She loved the stuffed animals but was allergic to dust spores and unfortunately, stuffed animals were the biggest collectors," Esther explained as she tenderly touched the picture of the bear. "I miss her everyday," she whispered. I moved over and gave her a hug from behind.

"Ilene was a beautiful soul. She wouldn't want you to torture yourself," I replied. Ilene was her older sister who was killed in a drunk driving accident. She was two years older than us and was riding her bike home around town when she was hit. Ilene had followed the bike safety rules and was going down the sidewalk around dinner time, but the drunk driver had pinned her between a brick building and his car before he ran away on foot. The news shook the town and he was later arrested in another bar. Esther held onto my hands. "She was taken far too early. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Annette. Six years and it's still hard to come into this room. Why is it when I'm around you, secrets just spill out?" Esther asked as I pulled back and sat on the bed. I rubbed my left shoulder again. I was due for another pain pill. I grabbed my sling out of my bag.

"I'm not sure. My boyfriend tells me that I have a magnetic pull. People are drawn to me. They want to feel happy and I have a perpetual bubble that emits nothing but joy. Secrets weigh heavy on the heart and keep people miserable," I guessed as I hooked up my sling. Buttoning up the sides was difficult but I managed. Esther looked back at me and smiled.

"I'd believe it," she admitted. She looked around the room and shook her head. She placed my bag on my bed and moved to the doorway. "Bathroom is across the hall. I'm thinking of having a chick flick movie marathon. Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?"

"I like both," I confessed. "Thank you for your hospitality. I'll join you in a few minutes."

"Thank you for checking up on me and not asking questions. You're always welcome," she responded warmly and disappeared down out of the room. I picked up my backpack, the overnight bag, and one crutch. Carefully, I moved over to the wicker bench and put my bags down. I dug through the overnight bag until I found my pain medication. It was in the same pocket as the cash, the appointment card, a key, and a note. I pulled out the cash and the note. Counting it quickly, I discovered that Jess, through Pat, had given me $1,000 cash. I gasped and looked at the note.

"Hey doll. It's about time you have a key to our home. I want you to feel like you finally found a home. The key makes it official. I'll see you later. Thinking of you. Love you. Don't fret about money. Splurge for a change. Do what you need to do to take care of her. I'll be waiting for you at home. Love you always - Benji." I read. I grinned and tucked the cash, Pat's note, and the key into my backpack; knowing I'd rather take that bag around instead of the overnight bag; I had no purse or wallet and this was the easiest way to secure it so I wouldn't misplace it later. I also tucked my pain meds into my zippered pocket, leaving one half of a pill out. I took a single crutch and moved to the bathroom so I could get some water. I took a handful of water and swallowed my pill before I made my way back out to the front room, looking for Esther and praying she wasn't taking this opportunity to hurt herself again. I let out a sigh of relief. She was digging into my baked fudge and ice cream. 

"I'm going to marry you," she stated around a bite. I giggled and sat down on the couch beside her. "This is exactly what the doctor ordered, and it's so delicious. Thank you." 

"My pleasure," I replied sincerely. We spent the whole day watching movies, crying, laughing and enjoying each other's company. We snacked on everything in their cupboards throughout the day. Esther seemed to binge eat and unable to stop. Her mom was pleased to have company, but she too seemed to be withdrawn in her own bubble; without really talking to anyone, she disappeared to her room. I watched Esther watch her mom walk down the hallway and sigh. She moved back to the kitchen and came back out with another plate of food. "Can't fix everyone's problems, 'Nettie," I told myself silently as I looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Before we went to bed, I suggested spending the day in Missoula. Esther happily agreed. I left the door open and told her to come talk to me if she needed anything at all. I thought about turning on my phone, but decided against it. I could talk to Pat later; right now, Esther needed me more and I wanted to give her my full attention. I settled on pulling out Socrates and holding him, knowing this was as close to Pat as I was going to get tonight. Eventually sleep took over. I tossed and turned, sleeping fitfully. Early in the morning, I was up again. I looked out the window as I stretched and yawned. The sky was a soft gray, a precursor dawn. I sighed and got up, knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I decided my best course of action would be to work on some strengthening exercises quietly. When I finished, I sat on the wicker bench and did some homework as the sun came up. I smiled as I watched the golden rays crest over the town. When it was well in the sky and my stomach rumbled, I got dressed for the day, tidied up the room, and made my way out to the kitchen. I snacked on some grapes while I waited for people to wake up. Unlike the Peterson home, I didn't know my way around this kitchen, nor did I know if they would appreciate me going through their cupboards to prepare breakfast. I did however start a pot of coffee. Then I headed back to the bedroom where I unbraided my headband and brushed out my hair. About nine, I was getting restless; I should have told Esther about the spa appointments. I moved back out to the living room and sat down on the couch and worked on another puzzle.  I would wake her up in half an hour if I had to. She made an appearance before my time ticked down.

"Good morning, Annette. Thanks for hanging out," she said sincerely.

"Good morning, Esther. Did you sleep well?" I asked.

"I did. I haven't slept that hard in awhile," she replied softly as she looked down. She shifted her feet uncomfortably. "Did somebody put you up to this?" I shook my head.

"I took the initiative. Not sure who to ask about your phone number, I asked Derek, thinking you two were still dating. I miss a lot only coming to school once a week, so I'm sorry for that. However, he gave me your number and laughed at me, saying you didn't pick it up anymore for any number. I shrugged it off and left. I had an inky feeling about four in the morning yesterday. You kept crossing my mind and when I heard you weren't in school, I grew more concerned. So I had to stop by," I confessed. She crashed on the seat beside me and began to weep.

"Annette, that's about the time," she stated around gasps as she rubbed her bandaged arms. I smiled weakly at her and reached over so I could squeeze her hand. "You are truly a blessing." She stood up and wiped her eyes. "Never again," she swore. "Are you hungry? We have cereal, oatmeal, and protein bars."

"I had some grapes. Thanks though. Fresh pot of coffee is made," I stated. She nodded and made her way to the kitchen. I followed. She poured herself a cup of coffee then pulled out the remaining baked fudge bowls and put them on table gesturing to me to join her. I smiled, grabbed two spoons and sat down as well. We dug in the baked fudge silently. The velvety dessert slid down my throat and I grinned. "This is the best type of breakfast," I confessed.

"Agreed. Seriously. Would your boyfriend be too upset if I married you? I just want you for your food," she teased. I grinned.

"Yeah. I think he'd be upset. He doesn't like sharing very much." We finished our dessert in silence and I looked at her. "I know we were already planning on spending the day in Missoula, but I was curious if you would be opposed to a spa day? My treat," I hesitantly inquired. She looked up at me in shock. "Esther, I think you're remarkable and beautiful. I also think that no man should have the power over your mind. I want to give you that power back. I've heard makeovers are the best way to do that," I explained. She grinned at me.

"You would really do that for me?" She asked in a hushed tone. I nodded.

"You're worth it," I replied with a smile. She leaned into me and gave me a hug.

"Thank you. Guess that means I'm driving," she teased. "We can go now if you like?" I nodded and made my way to the room so I could grab my my book bag. I grabbed the puzzle book off the couch as I passed it and turned into the bathroom first. Then I made my way into the bedroom and gathered up my stuff. I made sure I had the appointment card and my phone, just in case. I left my laptop and homework binder. Two books, the Sudoku puzzle book, and Socrates were the only things in my large pocket of the bag. I put it on, making sure that all my pockets were pointed towards my body - not out. As we were pulling out of town, Esther pulled into the local drive-up coffee shop. "What do you want, Annette? Please let me," she begged as I pulled out a twenty.

"Strawberry smoothie," I told her and put my money away. Our trip to Missoula was fairly quiet, mainly because both of us were comfortable with silence. Still we laughed and joked, but mainly I could tell she was worried about something and I let her sift through her emotions. I pulled out the appointment card and studied it. "Haircut, hair color, mani and pedi. You can get it all or just one," I told her. "Really, it's no problem."

"Fine. I'll do something different, blonde highlights or maybe I'll go completely dark. Will you add red streaks? I think you can pull it off," she begged. I bit my lip. I was up for a change, but I wasn't sure about the red.

"I'll think on it," I promised. I gave her directions to the salon as we pulled into Missoula. We walked up to the receptionist and they got us set up and ready to go. Esther mentioned chopping off all of her hair and I looked at her in shock. She has such long, pretty hair! I shook my head and encouraged her to do what she wanted. She would be able to pull it off the edgier look. I looked at my reflection as my stylist finished with her previous client. My blonde hair cascaded beyond my hips. I smiled. It was definitely the longest it's ever been. Finally ready for me, my stylist asked what I wanted. I used my hands and showed her trying to convey a clear thought. "Side swept bangs - angled over my right eye, shorter here in the front tapered to about shoulder length layers for the rest. Cherrywood red streaks, thin, not super bold. And finally thinning out the rest of my hair. Please?" She smiled at me.

"I can definitely do that. This is a little more than eight inches. Untreated?" I nodded. I've never dyed my hair or permed it. "Let's donate it. Six inches is what is required to make wigs and your hair is nice and thick. I'm sure they can get a few wigs off this," she insisted. I grinned and nodded as she pulled it into a ponytail. The nail tech offered to do our nails while our hair was being dried in the big head dryer. I agreed to a manicure, but didn't want the pedicure, Esther got both. I let them do a natural looking french manicure. Overall, we were in the salon for about three and a half hours. "I love doing make overs! I love the look. What are your thoughts?" I studied my reflection again and gasped. She had gotten it exactly correct. My blonde was still bright, but now it looked like I had strawberry red and chestnut brown natural shading. My blue eyes popped and my skin tone glowed.

"I don't look like me and my head feels 20 pounds lighter," I giggled. "I love it! Thank you." I looked over at Esther. "Whoa!" I gasped with a smile. She was now sporting a dark, asymmetrical hairstyle. Her left side went down to her shoulder, her right side was at her ear. She looked at me and grinned. "Esther! I love it! Is your mom going to kill me for cutting all your hair off?" She shook her head and laughed.

"Mom has always encouraged personal expression. The jet black will take some getting used to, but I love this," she giggled. I grinned and paid for both of us making sure to leave a ten dollar tip for each of the stylists, spending about $375. I looked down at Esther's nails. Black with red pinstripes. "You look amazing, Net! That's a good good look for you," Esther stated pointing to my hair. I giggled and we made our way back out to the car. "Let's go to the mall. I think I need a new outfit," she insisted. I nodded. I looked over at her and bit my lip.

"Are you okay, Esther?" I asked as I buckled up. She nodded.

"Yeah. I'm good. We should get some food too," she stated. I nodded and rubbed my shoulder. "How have you been doing, Net? Are you still in pain?"

"Some," I confessed. "I'm doing just fine though. Thank you." She nodded and I pointed to the Wendy's. "Do you have your heart set on a certain restaurant in the mall?"

"Nope! Wendy's sounds perfect," she replied as she pulled into the parking lot. "I'm famished." I giggled again and we made our way inside. After a quick meal, I took another pain pill and we made our way to the mall. I let her shop until her heart's content. I sat on the bench while she shopped, propping my leg up on one of my crutches, and holding onto my bag tightly. Crowds made me nervous.

"This seat taken?" A voice asked beside me. I looked over and shook my head. "Why are you sitting here all alone?" He asked as he sat down. I smiled politely at him. He was chowing down on a hot dog covered in sauerkraut; the smell nauseated me but I didn't show my disgust, I just scooted over a couple of inches away from the smell.

"My friend is going on a shopping spree. I can't keep up," I stated gesturing to my leg. He nodded and took another bite. "I'm here for moral support." Again he nodded. I looked back at the store that Esther was in and grinned when I saw her come out. "Enjoy your lunch. I've got to be on my way," I stated as I put my crutches on either side of me and grabbed the handles. He finished his hot dog in one bite and stood up. 

"Can I help you?" He asked around a full mouth offered me his hand. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"Thank you. I've got it," I replied as I positioned my crutches and stood up; I didn't want his juiced-up-sauerkraut-hands touching me. Esther made her way over to me. I smiled warmly at her as she approached. He took a step back and looked her up and down then gave me a confused look, but didn't move away. "Find everything you were looking for?" I asked her politely. She grinned and pulled out a lacy, red, long sleeved top. 

"Yes! Help me out," she insisted. I held the top as she took off her jean jacket. She forgot that her white tank top didn't cover her arms. I pursed my lips when I noticed she didn't have the bandages on anymore. She caught me looking at her arms and rubbed them embarrassingly; thankfully nobody else seemed to notice. So quickly, I helped her slide into the red top to ease her discomfort. The red top was lighter and more fitting for a warm day like today, but it would still provide her with a little bit of warmth without making her overheat like the jean jacket was doing. She looked absolutely stunning in it. Paired with her dark hair, she looked like she had just gotten off the runway. She tucked her jean jacket into the bag and looked at me. "Whacha think?" She asked as she twirled around. I smiled and began to respond but was cut off.

"Wow!" The guy gasped. I looked back at him. "Sorry. I'm Shawn. I don't mean to be forward and rude, but you two are stunning. And that top! Wow!" I smiled and looked back at Esther. She was dumbfounded and couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"Do you have your phone?" I asked her. She nodded and handed it over. I programmed my number into it and handed it back. "Esther, call me when you're ready to go. I'm going to call Pat. I'll be near the front of the store," I stated. The guy looked disappointed that I was leaving but turned his attention to her. She giggled and grinned but grabbed my arm.

"So, beautiful, where to next?" 

"I really do hate to be rude, but I'm hanging out with my friend today. She finally got sprung and deserves some girl time. She even got her phone back with a new number. It was one of the stops that we had to make today. But I hardly see her any more, so maybe next time," she insisted and started to walk with me. 

"You can stay and flirt if you want," I whispered. She shook her head.

"I'm glad to see that the makeover is working, but I'm not ready for that. Small steps. First thing I need to do is feel confident about myself before I let another guy try and run away with my heart," she replied softly. I smiled at her.

"You're on the right path. I'm proud of you," I told her sincerely. She smiled at me. My arm was starting to tingle and go numb. "I hate to be a buzz kill, but I need a break," I insisted as I gestured to some benches. She nodded and made her way over there. I sat down and pulled out my sling again. Carefully, I hooked it up and adjusted my bag so that it was resting against my belly, not my side. I looked at Esther then at both crutches. I could do this, it would just be slow moving. "You never answered Shawn's question. Where do you want to shop next?" I asked. She looked around and smiled.

"Let's go to the movies then get some dinner and go home," she stated. I nodded and stood up again, tucking both crutches under my right arm. "Annette, we don't have to go right now. Don't overdo it. You look like you might faint."

"I'm fine. I don't feel dizzy yet. Car's that way. Hopping one handed might take me longer," I told her. She nodded and stood up with me. She walked on my left side and wrapped her arm around my waist. "Thank you, Esther," I said sincerely as we made our way through the crowd. 

"Can I help now?" A voice stated behind us. I turned around and saw Shawn following us. I shook my head and faced forward again.

"Thank you. I'm fine. We're going to meet up with my boyfriend now," I replied. He moved to my right and looked at me.

"I wasn't looking for a date," he replied dryly. I nodded and kept moving. "I was just wondering if you would like some help. You look like you're ready to collapse. I didn't realize your arm was hurt too."

"I got her," Esther spoke up. He met her eye. "Really. We're okay. Thank you though."

"If it's all the same, I'm still going to follow you," Shawn retorted. I warily looked over at him. He lowered his voice, "you're being followed. Three men."

"And you took upon yourself to make sure we weren't hurt. How sweet," Esther said sarcastically.

"Thank you for looking out for us. We'll be fine," I stated and gave him a polite smile. He pursed his lips and kept walking with us silently. "We're not trying to be difficult. You have a question, please voice it." He shook his head.

"It's nothing. I took a chance," he replied sadly. I bit my lip again. The door was finally within sight. I looked back at him. He was studying his feet. I shook my head and pressed on. Once we reached the door, I looked behind me. Sure enough, three men were following us, but they were joking and laughing with each other. They seemed to be looking at Shawn, not at us. I took a few more hops forward and to the left, making a beeline for the wall instead of outside. Once I got to the quiet corner of the mall and no one could overhear us, I paused so I could lean against the wall. Esther and Shawn stopped with me, together we formed a small triangle. Esther looked at me in concern; Shawn was still looking at his feet. "Listen, I'm sorry-"

"Stop. What was the bet?" I asked softly, interrupting him. Shawn's eyes shot up and met mine. Esther looked surprised too. "What was the bet?" I repeated. "Those are your friends, not someone stalking us." Relief washed over his face.

"Pledging to-" he started.

"Let me stop you right there," I interrupted. "University of Montana doesn't have fraternities. Next it's mid-semester, so pledging -even if it's from another school- is nothing but a lie. The truth," I demanded. "Or so help me, I'll clock you with these crutches upside your head." Esther looked like she was about ready to burst out laughing. Shawn grinned and lowered his head. I tried to keep my gaze firm and steady. I didn't have the energy and went back to a neutral look. Esther moved to lean against the wall with me, Shawn stood back a few feet and smirked.

"They told me there was no way I could convince a girl I wasn't a creep and still get her number and picture if I hung out with her for more than five minutes. I wasn't going to get my hopes up with how you two kept blowing me off," he replied. He looked back up at us. "You were the first person that I saw that didn't look like she was on a mission to shop. Even though you looked tired, you didn't look like a stuck up prissy type like all the other girls who were here by themselves. I mean no harm by it. Now seeing the cast on your leg and your arm strung up, I can see why you looked worn out, but you were still my best option. Then you said you were waiting on your friend and you came out and I was like whoa! You blew me away and left me speechless," he explained. I nodded and looked down. Esther giggled beside me, causing me to smile. 

"So you need a number and a picture?" Esther asked as she bumped me softly. He nodded. She grinned. "Well you can have mine," she stated. "Annette, do you mind?" She handed me her phone and I grinned. I took her phone as she stepped back a few steps. They stood together and took a picture. Esther was grinning from ear to ear. He held onto her waist like Noah or Tyler would with me. I snapped a few, slowly Esther turned her head towards him and kissed him. He turned his body and deepened the kiss. I snapped another picture as his hand went up her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the three friends jumping up and down. I giggled softly.

"Where am I sending this to?" He pulled out a paper from his pocket and handed it to me as he continued to kiss Esther. I typed in the number and sent two pictures. His phone in his pocket chirped and he broke the kiss. 

"What do I call you?" He asked Esther as he gazed upon her and played with her hair.

"Esther. Will you use that number?" She replied as she leaned in again. I blushed and moved away, finally making my way outside. I sat on a bench by the roadside, giving them some privacy. "You didn't have to run away, Annette," Esther gasped as she sat beside me. "Wow!"

"Yeah. Wow. Will he call you?" I asked. She grinned and nodded.

"He says he will. This was exhilarating. Thank you for a fun day," she replied. "I'm going to go get the car. That way you don't have to hop as far." I nodded as she stood up. I handed her back her phone as it chirped. She looked at it and blushed. "Be right back, Net." She ran off into the parking lot. Shortly after, she pulled up and I got in. "He wants to go on a date. I told him next weekend and to brush his teeth," she giggled as she pulled out her gum. "What one?" She offered. I grinned, popped a piece of her cinnamon gum in my mouth as she popped a piece of the peppermint in her's, and buckled my seatbelt. She began moving.

"I can call my brother. He'd be happy to come pick me up. That way, you could go on a date now," I replied. She shook her head. 

"No. I told him I already had a date tonight. Besides, I told you I needed to take baby steps! We're having dinner here, but I was talking about dessert. Please tell me you're going to make something scrumptious! Of course only if you're staying the night again," she begged. I giggled.

"I can stay. We're going to need to go to the store. I don't want to clean out your pantry. I can do a chocolate lava cake or some huckleberry cheesecake," I stated.

"Annette! I'm going to kiss you! Oh my word! You're making my mouth water!" Esther exclaimed. I giggled as her phone chirped again. "Will you read that for me?"

"Milk's gone sour - Mom," I read. She nodded. 

"Yep. We'll go to the store after dinner. You still up for a movie?" 

"Sounds good," I confessed. I yawned and leaned back. "I think The Guardian is in."

"The coast guard movie with Ashton Kutcher?" She asked with a giggle. I nodded. "I've been wanting to see that! And he's like my celebrity crush. Let's go. I really hope he's shirtless in this movie!" She insisted. I giggled and nodded. We caught the movie then headed out to dinner, followed by the store. I bought the items for both desserts as well as some ingredients for breakfast and I replaced some of the food that we used up last night. I was going to make them monkey bread tomorrow whether they liked it or not; I wanted something kinda sweet to eat in the morning. "Annette," Esther broke me out of my trance as I was mentally checking off my grocery list, making sure I had everything. "I work tomorrow at two." 

"Wonderful! Do you plan on going?" I inquired as we passed the milk. I pointed to them and Esther put a half gallon in the cart.

"I am. I really do appreciate you being around. I can give you a ride home in the morning," she stated. I grinned. 

"Thank you. I appreciate it," I replied genuinely. We checked out and headed home. I was feeling dizzy and worn down. Everything hurt. I looked back at Esther. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, Annette. Happy even. Really," she confessed with a grin. I smiled. That was good news. I took off my sling as we pulled back into her driveway and put it in my bag. The light was on in the living room and her mom seemed to be pacing back and forth. "Mom's anxious. Come on. I'll help you carry in the groceries." I nodded and got out of the car. I grabbed one of the three bags in the backseat as we made our way up to the front door. Instead of going up the stairs, I used the incline of the hill. It was slightly easier to go up. I bit my lip as my right crutch slipped in the wet grass. "Sorry, Annette. Automated sprinklers. They came on at 8," Esther explained as she noticed my predicament. Quickly I made my way to the concrete before I hurt myself again. Esther opened the door and lead us inside. "We're home, Mom!"

"We? Esther! Ilene! You're finally home!" I bit my lip as her mother ran over and embraced me. "Oh, Ilene! I've missed you," Mrs. Sullivan wept. I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her back tenderly.

"Sorry, Mom. Ilene's not coming home," Esther whispered. "This is Annette. My friend from school. Remember? She's staying with us for a couple days. And I need her so we can make a mess in the kitchen."

"I was going to make some huckleberry cheesecake and chocolate lava cake, ma'am," I murmured in her chest. She held onto me tighter and wept. "I'm sorry that you lost your daughter. No parent should ever have to experience that pain. You still have one right here that needs you." Mrs. Sullivan pulled back and looked at Esther. She had moved to the table and was putting the groceries away. 

"Oh my beautiful girl," Mrs. Sullivan murmured as she moved over to embrace Esther. Esther stiffened in her arms before relaxing into her mom. I grinned and finished putting the groceries away. I started mixing my cheesecake batter while mother and daughter reconnected as they both sat down at the table. Once that was ready to go, I made my cake batter. "Esther Christine, I love your hair. You look stunning," I overheard Mrs. Sullivan tell Esther. I grinned and kept working. "Did you do this so you don't look like Ilene any more?"

"No, Mom. I loved looking like Ilene. I did it because I was ready for a change. I'll color my hair back," Esther stated.

"Please don't. This suits you. You're beautiful," Mrs. Sullivan stated. Again I grinned. She was absolutely correct. I put both bowls in from of them.

"Care to lick the batter?" I asked as I gave them both a spoon. They grinned and dug in. I moved back to the counter and began cleaning up my mess. Then I moved to the couch and kept an eye on the clock. 8:45. I sighed. I was ready for bed. I was fighting sleep and pain. I was easily at an 8/10 on the pain scale. I knew that once I pulled my food out of the oven, I would need to take a full pill. I pulled out my puzzle book and worked on another puzzle.

"Annette," Mrs. Sullivan stated as she sat down. Esther joined me on the couch. I looked up at both of them and smiled. 

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Thank you for giving me back my baby," she whispered. I grinned and looked at the clock again.

"You're welcome. She's been here all along. Excuse me, ma'am. I need to pull out the cake before I burn your house down," I murmured. Esther followed me back into the kitchen.

"Mom's right. That's the first time she's hugged anyone since that day," she whispered. I looked up at her as I pulled out both desserts. 

"I'm sorry you didn't get the first hug. I didn't mean to rob you," I replied as I took in what she said, feeling guilty. 

"Annette, I have a mom again. Do you have any idea how long I've felt alone?" I shook my head and wiped a tear that was beginning to fall. I looked over at Esther. She was grinning ear to ear. "I might have to tell Shawn no. I haven't had a conversation with my mom in six years. No more than hey, hey back." I grinned again. 

"I'm glad she has friends like you," Mrs. Sullivan murmured from living room as she stood up and made her way towards us again. I pulled out the powdered sugar and sprinkled a few tuffs over the chocolate cake. Then I pulled out the huckleberries and put them in a pan on the stove, getting ready to make a drizzle for the cheesecake. "May I?" Mrs. Sullivan asked. I nodded and looked back at Esther.

"Thank you for your hospitality, ladies, I'm going to call it a night," I replied. They both wrapped me up in a warm embrace.

"Things are going to get better," Esther whispered in my ear.

At the same time, Mrs. Sullivan remarked, "thank you, Annette. Thank you for making my heart beat again." I blushed and pulled away. Mother and daughter embraced again. I quietly made my way out of the room and got ready for bed. I did take a full pill. I dropped my bag off on the bench, took off my shoe, and crawled into bed fully clothed. I didn't have the strength to say up any longer. Once again, I was up before the sun came up. I went through my morning routine, attempted a few stretches, but I over did it yesterday and everything just hurt - no, it over-hurt. I got dressed in the cream colored handkerchief shirt with a pair of purple leggings. They weren't my first choice in pants color, but they added a nice pop of color. Jess had sewn black ruffles on the right leg so it opened up around my cast. I stood up and double checked the length of my shirt; my wrist met the hemline. It wasn't quite long enough for me. I needed it to reach the bottom of my fingers without feeling like I had to be pulling it down all the time; so I pulled out a different shirt. I found a black tunic that revealed my shoulders. I put it on instead and grinned when it covered past mid-thigh. I packed up my room, stripped the sheets, and folded up the comforter. I took all my stuff out to the front room, setting my bags down by the couch, and then began making breakfast. The clock on the wall read quarter to eight. Perfect. Breakfast would be ready at nine. When breakfast was in the oven, I started a pot of coffee as well. Then I sat back down on the couch and pulled out my phone, getting ready to turn it on and call Pat when I heard shuffling in the hallway. I sighed and put my phone away again. "Morning, Annette! Are you always an early riser?" Mrs. Sullivan asked in surprise as she looked at me. I nodded.

"Breakfast will be ready at nine. There's a fresh pot of coffee ready. I took the sheets off the bed and was going to wash them, but I'm not sure where your laundry room is," I confessed. She looked at me in shock. I continued, "I want to thank you for your hospitality for the past couple of days." I pulled out $50 and handed it over to her.

"We can't accept your money!" She exclaimed as she handed it back. "You've already paid us. Food. Friendship. Reconciliation. Esther and I were up until almost two in the morning. I haven't been in the same room with her for more than an hour at a time for the past six years. I have often felt like I was failing as a mom."

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I think you've done an exceptional job with her. She's smart and has a good head on her shoulders. She's happy and thriving. She makes wise choices. She makes mistakes too, but she learns from them," I replied. Mrs. Sullivan smiled at me.

"I can see that. When she brings home a friend like you, I know some lessons stuck," she replied warmly. I pulled out some reading material as she pulled out some yarn and began knitting. I kept an eye on clock. "I think that I'll let Esther sleep. I can take you home after breakfast," Mrs. Sullivan stated out of the blue.

"I'm up, Mom," Esther said sleepily from the hallway. I looked back at the clock. It was time to remove the monkey bread. I stood up and removed my cinnamon bread out of the oven. I began humming and bobbing my head to the rhythm as I cut into the sweet bread. Esther pulled out a three plates and smiled at me. "Morning, Annette. You are ridiculously chipper for it being so early," she rebuked playfully. I grinned.

"I woke up a few hours before you," I teased as I dished up the plates. I moved over to the fridge and pulled out some fresh huckleberries. I put a handful on my plate then looked at the Sullivans. Both agreed so I dished them up too. Esther took my plate to the table and I joined the two of them for breakfast. I watched the two of them interact, while it was strained, it was absolutely remarkable. After breakfast, Esther headed back to her room. "Thank you again, for your hospitality," I stated as I began cleaning up the table.

"Our pleasure. You don't need to clean up," Mrs. Sullivan stated. "Allow me." I smiled and sat back down. Esther came back and had both my bags in her hand. 

"Ready to go?" She asked. I nodded and stood up. Mrs. Sullivan stood up and embraced me. "I'll see you later, Esther. I love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, Mom. Let's go, Annette," Esther stated as she moved out the door.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," I stated as I headed out the door. The drive was quiet. Finally I looked over at Esther. "Did I do something to offend you? You seem to be in a hurry?"

"No, Annette. You're fine. I love my mom, but last night was emotional for me. I don't know how to have a relationship with her. We covered everything last night from school to boys. I don't know if this makeover is a cry for attention or what. I missed her," Esther confessed. She turned off to the park and turned off the car. "This is my happy place. Kinda weird since this was the park Ilene and I always played at, but it's never brought me sadness." I looked around and grinned.

"Well then let's go get happy," I giggled as I opened the car door. She grinned and joined me. Together we made our way to the swings. "I think you pull off that look really well. I like it on you. Do you like it?"

"Yeah. I love it," she confessed as she sat down. I was a few hops behind her. "I look in the mirror and don't see what my sister any more. I should have done this a long time ago." I grinned as she began to pump her legs and go higher. She giggled as she leaned back. "I've always felt alive and free here. People look at me like I'm crazy."

"Why? Because you don't want to grow up? Because it lets you reflect on the good times, with and without your sister?" I replied. She smiled at me as she flipped out of her swing and I swung back and forth slowly. "I wish more people let their inner child out more," I admitted. She got back on her swing and giggled at me.

"You know a lot about that. If anyone can show the world what it means to see the world through the eyes of a child, it would be you," she confessed. I grinned. 

"It's not hard when you know what you're looking for. Anyone can find joy. Everyone has an inner well that is filled with joy, unfortunately only they can fill it themselves. It's different for everyone. Of course, I love kids and so any time anyone wants to encourage their inner child to come out and play, I won't rebuke them," I told her. 

"See that's why people love you," she told me. "You always know exactly what to say."

"No. I don't," I confessed. "I often struggle with it myself." 

"I had no idea," she admitted. "You're always so upbeat and positive."

"I struggle too. Different reasons of course. For example, I often struggle with my confidence and most of my life have worn a public mask so people don't get too close. I've been working on it. And before you ask, no, I haven't put the mask on with you this weekend," I confessed.

"Wow. I never would have guessed. Okay well maybe I could've. You're a little more outgoing when you're not hiding behind a book," Esther remarked as she began pumping her legs again. I giggled. 

"I have to replenish my well of joy too. The sunrise is my way to do that. I like hanging out with friends, but I'm totally okay not talking to people either. It doesn't mean I don't care. If my well was low, I wouldn't have been able to hang out with you this weekend. I haven't been low in a long time. Last time -in public, er well for you- would have been the last week in school ," I told her as I thought back quickly. I had several low points over the summer, but I was practically empty the week I mentioned because I had to drain my stomach cavity yet again and could barely hold my pencil my arm was so bruised. I was planning on running away from home that weekend, but ended up with another blow to the head that halted any plans; I never told anyone. 

"I never would have known. Like I said, you're always so positive. There was nothing unusual about your actions that week," she giggled at me after she reflected back too. I grinned and we kept swinging and trying to make each other laugh; she also allowed me to have some silence, which I was grateful for. After about an hour, she looked at me and grinned. "I think my well is full, let me take you home," she insisted. I grinned. I guided her to Pat's home. "Call me," she insisted as she pulled into his driveway. 

"Of course. Thanks for a great weekend," I replied as I got out of the car. I discretely left her some money as I grabbed my bags from the backseat and headed to the front door as she backed away. I waved at her as she left. I opened the door slowly and set my overnight bag on the floor and paused. Somebody else was here even though Pat's truck was the only vehicle outside. 

"That's right, baby, put it all in your mouth! Oh God! That feels so good. Keep that big mouth working. OH! Oh! Suck on it harder. Put more b**b in there. Ye-eh-eh-ss!! Don't stop," a female voice was saying.

"Please let it be a movie. Please let it be a movie," I thought as I bit my lip, blinked back tears, and looked around the corner. In the seat closest to the door, were two people in the buff. His hands were rubbing up and down her bare back, her hips bucked, and she was starting to raise her feet. I looked down and noticed something that stole my breath; there was only three legs on that leg rest. My heart broke as I couldn't see his left leg. Blinking back tears, I headed back outside, and shut the door quietly behind me. Finally, I let out a sob, looked around, and bit my lip as tears fell down. I tightened my grasp on my crutches as I looked at his truck. Where could I go? I hopped around the house and made my way to the treeline. Once there, I began climbing up the hill. I sat down against a tree, pulled my knees to my chest, wrapped both arms around them, buried my head, and wept. "How could you be so stupid, Annette?" I whispered as I cried until I couldn't cry any more. Finally I dug my phone out of the bag and turned it on. I put it down and waited for it to wake up as I looked up in the trees. Above me, two robins tweeted merrily and I cried again. "Why are you mocking me? Don't taunt me with your love," I mumbled. Suddenly my phone vibrated almost non-stop on my books, causing the birds to flit away. When my phone finally stopped vibrating, I picked it up again and looked at the screen. I had several messages, but refused to read any of them. I put my phone to my ear as I pressed and held number five - speed dialing. "Tyler," I wept as he picked up and before he had a chance to say anything.

"What's up, 'Nettie?" He asked in a concerned tone. "Have you been crying?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I was hoping you could join us for dinner tonight. I need a few things though," I admitted as I dried my eyes and put a cap on my emotions.

"Just me?"

"Yes, just you."

"Okay, 'Nettie. What do you need?"

"Um. Well I'm thinking of doing burgers. So all the toppings. I want mushrooms tonight. No, I won't eat them, but I want them," I told him. 

"Okay. Will do. Care to tell me why you're crying?" He asked. I shook my head and tried to stem my tears. 

"Later," I promised as I wiped my cheeks again. "Just not over the phone."

"Okay, 'Nettie. I'll see you in about three hours," he promised.

"Tyler, one more thing. No questions. No talking to Pat. Just bring me food for dinner and I'll cook it for you," I begged.

"Okay, honey. Oops, sorry; you asked for me not to call you that again," Tyler replied. "Love you, kiddo. I'll see you soon with burger toppings."

"Thanks. Love you too, brother dear," I whispered as I hung up the phone and turned it off again. I dried my eyes and made my way back down the hill. I crossed the yard and hopped up the porch. I came in the back door and moved down to my room. The house was empty. I thought I heard movement behind Pat's door, but I didn't pause to figure it out. I opened the door to my room and closed it behind me. Another dresser had been added in here and my travel bag was on the bed, otherwise, it the room was undisturbed. I bit my lip and put my backpack down on my dresser. I pulled out my laptop and opened it up. I wrote a letter expressing all my emotions; it would be the only thing that I would leave behind. I moved over to the closet and began throwing clothes into one of the bags that Jess had picked out for me. I moved to the bathroom and began throwing all of the sunshine reminders on the ground in a pile.

"Doll!" Pat exclaimed as he came into the room.

"No. Out!" I ordered, unable to look at him. I pushed him to the door and closed it behind him, leaning against it as I let my crutches crumble to the ground. How dare he come in here and act like nothing happened?! How dare he betray my trust?! 

"Annette! Talk to me, love," he begged. I turned around, pressed my back against the door, held onto my left elbow as I buried my head in my left hand, and wept. He didn't have any right to demand that I talk to him.

"I'm sorry. I have homework," I told him. "I just want to be left alone." Why am I even here? Where was Tyler? Would he think less of me if I cancelled dinner? No. I needed him here; this was the only way I could get out. I sobbed again.

"Alright, doll. Stressful weekend for you, I get it. Charge your panels. I'm here when you're ready," Pat remarked on the other side of the door.

"Yeah, only if it's convenient for you. If I'm not here, you'll entertain yourself. I mean little to you," I scoffed silently as I sunk to the floor and cried. After a while, I realized I was playing with the necklace he gave me. I yanked it off in a fury, breaking the clasp. I threw it across the room, buried my head in my knees, and wept, possibly slept. When I sat up, I was stiff and sore. I stood up and began throwing more clothes into the bags. I dug out the key and left it on the dresser as well as the remaining cash; I didn't need either of those to get by. Still angry, I wanted to throw more things, so I emptied the dresser, throwing all the clothes over my head, towards the door. Then I slammed all the drawers shut. I looked up in the mirror and glared at his dresser. "Presumptuous of you, b*****d. Or is it her's? Like I should care," I thought. I looked back at my reflection and took a deep breath. It was time to put the mask back on - the one that Annette so proudly displayed. Sarah, 'Nettie, or Net would not make another appearance this house again. I closed my eyes, lowered my head, and counted to ten. When I opened them again, my eyes rested on the vase of roses. "So did you buy these out of guilt? It surely wasn't love or devotion. I can't believe I fell for you and all your games," I thought angrily as I threw the vase across the room, the glass shattering in the corner. I looked at the time on the computer, closed it, and moved to the door. Remembering my tear stained, blotchy eyed reflection, I changed my mind and moved to the bathroom instead to wash my face. I dried my face and moved back to the door. Tyler should be here any moment; I had to get dinner done. If I could avoid talking to anyone, that would help. I took another deep breath and opened the door. Pat was crouched across the hall against the wall; he looked defeated. He lit up and grinned at me as I emerged. I took a deep breath and sighed and moved towards the kitchen. "B*****d," I mumbled under my breath. 

"Doll! Please look at me," Pat begged as he positioned himself in front of me. I shook my head and looked down.

"I might have the energy to talk after dinner. Excuse me," I said dryly and made my way around him. He picked me up and carried me there. "Put me down!" I ordered. I met his eye and glared as he lowered me to the ground again. "OUT!" He looked hurt. "Good," I thought angrily. "You hurt me, you should look ashamed and in pain." A knock startled him, but he stroked my cheek refusing to turn towards the door. I turned away. "Go away," I thought bitterly as another knock was heard. Pat sighed then moved to the door. I turned on the stove and began heating up two pans. Then I turned on the oven. I dug through the freezer and found some french fries. I poured them on a cookie sheet and popped them in the oven. Tyler nodded at me as he deposited my groceries on the counter. He looked at me in concern but moved to the living room where Pat had moved to. Both of them looked at me then back at each other and talked softly between each other. I dug through the bags and got to work. I made one patty plain and stuck some bacon in one of the pans. I then took out the mushrooms. Tyler had bought pre-sliced mushrooms. I grinned; they were perfect. The less time I actually had to touch them the better. I took half of them and began dicing them. Then I mixed all the diced mushrooms in the remaining ground beef and made several more patties then put them in the second pan; both pans got their own spatula. I thoroughly washed my hands, flipped the bacon and put the plain burger in that pan. I opened up the oven and checked the fries; they were looking good. I closed the oven again and continued with my dinner preparations. I took my knife and cutting board to the sink and washed them thoroughly too. Once again, I washed my hands. Two tears fell from my eyes. I blinked them away quickly and dried the cutting board as Pat came back into the room. "Go away. I can't look at you. Don't talk to me, you can't justify this. Why am I here? I can't," I thought bitterly as I stifled another sob. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he spoke, igniting my anger again. I slammed the cutting board on the counter, spun around, and glared at him. "Fine. Let's hash this out now," I thought bitterly.