Life Abuse

A child whose parents are arguing.

Parents shouting,

Fear growing,

Coldness creeping.

Knife rising,

Skin slicing,

Light fading,

Death comming,

Life ending.

 

Reviews

[Sarah W. French]

Wonderful. At first I thought it was just a bit sad but the desperation creeped up and took hold beautifully. It was a fast and swift change but it wasn't to fast. Chilling poem....loved it

[asdarkeyesclose]

'shouting ' 'growing' 'creeping'

strong words that paint the tense atmosphere, a sense of things spiralling out of control. i liked the 'ing' rhymes and the impact of the poetry creating a vivid picture. fantastic.

[Laura Storm]

I like the abruptness and straightforwardness of it. I helps with the over all emtion and feel of the piece and fits the subject. Great job.

[karen samarin]

your emotions are straight to the point....in life there's things that hurt us but in our own life we can change it cause of what we seen or heard.. my parents didn't do that but i was with others who did its very hard to handle at times and take but it helped me to change and move forward to relieze this wasn't what id want. there so much good life has to offer you reach out and grab it your a kind hearted soul....thanks for sharing this with me

[Archia]

I loved how this was simple with its word, but then really not simple at all. I enjoyed how there was a story in this, and I had this picture in my head of it all happening. It's sad really.

[Abbie]

I really liked how you captured such great emotion into so few words. this poem tells a whole story in just a sixteen words. I'm impressed! This was a good, but sad story.

[♋ Iris ♋]

I can feel the emotion with this one. Sad too. Has many emotions of sadness and loneliness. great write

[eatmills]

Life is hard. Death is easy. It's always strange when parents begin to fall out of love. I've seen it first hand.

Comming only has one m - coming.

Still you have visualized your emotions well.

[dreaming dame]

Scary sad, heartbreak. But well written. :)

[Regrets]

This poem says a story of heartbreak and pain with little words but huge emotion. Nice write, thanks for sharing.