the secrets of a regretful youth

the secrets of a regretful youth

A Poem by just take a breath

dear mama
im sorry i failed that test

dear daddy
im sorry i pushed you away

dear knife
im sorry i put you in my wrists

dear drugs
im sorry i overdosed

dear friends
im sorry i changed

dear love
im sorry i trusted you



© 2010 just take a breath



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Author's Note

just take a breath
BTW. this isnt about me. this is about someone whom is very close to me. but shes getting help :)

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Featured Review

We are the clouds that veil the midnight moon;
How restlessly they speed, and gleam, and quiver,
Streaking the darkness radiantly!--yet soon
Night closes round, and they are lost forever:

Or like forgotten lyres, whose dissonant strings
Give various response to each varying blast,
To whose frail frame no second motion brings
One mood or modulation like the last.

We rest.--A dream has power to poison sleep;
We rise.--One wandering thought pollutes the day;
We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond foe, or cast our cares away:

It is the same!--For, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free:
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but Mutability.

~ Percy Byshee Shelly.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

aww that is so sad great poem

Posted 6 Years Ago


Balancing life is a lot like shopping, for lack of a better comparison. You don't actually realize the price that's building up inside of you until you're shown the final bill - and that's when you realize that there are too many things in your bag that you only wanted, and too few of the things you need. It's easy to lose grip on what's important and what's not when there are so many choices in front of you.

Thankfully, we can change as long as we have the will to. It's good that she's close to you... having a friend to stand by her through everything is probably a great feeling, deep down. Glad to hear she's getting help, and great write.

Posted 6 Years Ago


this is very sad but i like it so the good thing is your friend is getting help

Posted 6 Years Ago


I wouldn't call this your best, because I have read better from you, but I liked the idea. It was unknowingly actually directed to yourself. Dear mum, dad, knife, drugs, friends, love. In the end, they're all really apologies to yourself.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I failed that test.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I pushed my father away.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I put that knife to your wrists.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I overdosed with those drugs.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I changed.

Dear Me,
I'm sorry I let you get hurt.

Posted 6 Years Ago


this was such sad work, that's powerful in a poem. we're all glad that your friend is getting help, nobody should live with such pain and sorrow.

"dear knife
im sorry i put you in my wrists

dear drugs
im sorry i overdosed"
now those lines were really unique in my opinion. i guess you were implying that your friend was doing injustice to herself and the knife by self-mutilation, right? however about the drugs part, the drugs never really had much redeeming features anyway. Metallica's song "Master of Puppets" is a suitable testament to that. good work


Posted 6 Years Ago


Very sad indeed, but written wonderfully! But one should seek help when you start to think about taking your own life!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Interesting, but also rather sad. Then again, perhaps the writer is being quite brave and open to share her regrets with us? It is not clear in this piece, what brought about the protagonist's problems with drugs. Even so, she does suggest a few probable causes (as she sees it). These include friends, parents and others. On the otherhand, the lines in this poem also seem to be apologetic in tone and meaning. Perhaps, this piece is a cry for help - from the heart? Whilst reading, it sometimes seemed as if the protagonist blames only herself for these regrets? Either way, only the writer knows for sure (of course)!

Posted 6 Years Ago


dear self...

there is the question of the logic involved in taking ones own life...having witnessed it up close, it is a terrible thing.

there is the question of how one FEELS, and expression is pure beauty and courage...you do that well

then there is the question of your poem. What effect do you want to create for your reader? To feel anger, sorrow, horror, tragedy? Many are the ways to evoke those emotions. This one is effective, but is it possible to express it in such a way where the reader can contribute more to the write, of his/her own feelings and experience? Perhaps the reader has not been through these same hard things, how can you invite (lure in fact!) them into the view you wish them to have???

Your potential is great if you develop your technique

Posted 6 Years Ago


We are the clouds that veil the midnight moon;
How restlessly they speed, and gleam, and quiver,
Streaking the darkness radiantly!--yet soon
Night closes round, and they are lost forever:

Or like forgotten lyres, whose dissonant strings
Give various response to each varying blast,
To whose frail frame no second motion brings
One mood or modulation like the last.

We rest.--A dream has power to poison sleep;
We rise.--One wandering thought pollutes the day;
We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond foe, or cast our cares away:

It is the same!--For, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free:
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but Mutability.

~ Percy Byshee Shelly.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i can relate to this for sure life is rough but you just have to keep on going....i loved this very good :)

Posted 6 Years Ago



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13 Reviews
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Added on December 26, 2010
Last Updated on December 26, 2010
Tags: fail, failed, love, failure, hurt, back, feet, stand, again, rebound, redo, circle, poem

Author

just take a breath
just take a breath

About
about me? im 15, im a girl, im blond, and tend to take my feelings out through music and writing. if you knew me, you would know non-believers drive me insane! this includes people that say "your t.. more..

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