40 reasons I know I’m getting old...In honor of my 40th birthday.

This isn't a story, but I was unsure what to put it under.

I wanted to share a little humor with you. I wrote this for my 40th birthday last year. It's tongue in cheek. 40 IS NOT old, but I needed to cheer myself up. I refuse to grow old gracefully. Enjoy!

40 reasons I know I’m getting old...In honor of my 40th birthday:

 

1.  I can pull a muscle just by yawning too hard.
2.  I realize that I used to be cool.
3.  I realize that I used to hot.
4.  I remember having to load the kids up in the car and drive to the grocery        store, now two of my three boys can drive me to the store.
5.  I found a gray hair.
6.  I fall and can’t get up ( not right away anyway).
7.  I look forward to going to bed.
8.  My stomach sticks out further than my b***s.
9.   I can think about a Twinkie and gain a pound.
10. I used to wear makeup to look older; now I wear makeup to look younger.
11. I want the clerk to card me and I’m actually insulted if they don't.
12. I used to ride every ride at the fair over and over, and now I get dizzy if I         stand up too fast.
13. I wonder, When did I start wearing granny panties?
14. A thong, you're not serious.
15. I pee my pants when I cough.
16. I pee my pants when I laugh.
17. I pee my pants when I sneeze.
18. I’m half way to 80.
19. Did I mention I’m halfway to 80?
20. I repeat myself.
21. I get stiff when I sit too long, like 5 minutes.
22. I wonder, who is the idiot that said “Age is just a number”?
23. I see someone that looks old and I think I know them from somewhere and       then it hits me. I went to school with them.
24. I’m almost old enough to be the mother of my celebrity crush.
25. I know what a banana clip is, and parachute pants.
26. The number 1 song when I was born was ‘Rock the Boat’.
27. I find myself saying things like “That song was the bomb in my day”.
28. I’m always saying “I used to be that skinny.”
29. I repeat myself.
30. I repeat myself.
31. Is that a liver spot?
32. I pee when I run.
33. I pee when I jump.
34. My kids tell me I’m old.
35. Another gray hair!
36. Someone asked me the other day when I was due. Oh, wait a minute that         just means I’m fat, not old. Ha! Suck on that!...wait.
37. That wrinkle was not there yesterday!
38. OK, call Clairol and tell them to just back up the damn truck to the door!
39. Seriously, I sneezed, and I heard my back pop.
40. And last but not least I’m 40!

Author's Note

No, I really don't wear granny panties. OK, just wanted to clear that up :)

Reviews

[Weeping willow]

Oh no wait till you get to the 60's and your struggling to find the women hood you left behind; Liked your write,it's a uphill climb,keep the ink flowing;}

[Writergirl]

LOL Thanks!

[Leon C]

If you think 40 is bad you should try 50!!!

A brilliant list. I laughed out loud which is, honestly, the highest praise I can give you.

I would have to add, explaining cultural references to the people I work with, because they weren't born when they happened.

[Writergirl]

LOL Thank you for reading. Glad I could give you a laugh :)

[Cryingkate]

I remember going through this in my 40's too.
Guess what happened in my fifties ?

I fought back.... I started and am continuing to reverse it all and am almost in better shape and wiser then my 30's... Funny..I realize I never needed those 40 blues. I could of had the perspective I have now and not wasted those 40's in acceptance of something I didn't need to.

I enjoyed sharing your 40 blues You really are old when you can't find the humor :-) You still have it. Your not old...YET...............:-)
What? Where was I ?

[Writergirl]

LOL no not yet ;)

[Cryingkate]

excuse me but do I know you? Oh yeah I forgot. I do....:-)

[Tomoe Tellez]

I'm eighteen, is this really what I should expect? LOL
I really enjoyed reading this, it was a great and good change of reading sad poems all afternoon, so thanks for sharing. I hope that when I get to that age I am just as positive as you about it.

[Writergirl]

Glad I could cheer you up :) Enjoy your youth while you can! It is fleeting.

[rickm97]

OH! That's hilarious!
Love it absolutely! And the picture!
Great read, W.

Oh...
...and I've found that over the past 30 years...
..."Commando" is great!
And it will be until I start leaking.

[Writergirl]

LOL Thank you. Glad you enjoyed reading. :)

[Samuel Dickens]

Want to trade places? (Age, I mean) I remember hula hoops and "I like Ike" buttons. Oh, well--age is what takes place when we insist on waking up every morning. I enjoyed this little piece, and am glad you're not so serious about it all. Even when you become a grannie, I recommend you don't wear those panties!
PS I love that photo.

[Writergirl]

LOL. No not serious at all. I think age can be lovely, with it comes wisdom and I like to think- patience. It beats the alternative of not waking up in the morning. I hope I live to be 100!