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Chesapeake, VA
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Block Writer Block Writer

About Me

So here's the skinny! I was born to write. BORN to write. I popped out of the womb with a pen, pad and laptop. My mother's vagina would never be the same after that fateful day. But this isn't about her. It's about me... I was 2 years old when I wrote my first short story. It was about a cow named Timmy who possessed a golden strand of grass that granted him the ability to time travel. Timmy had a mother named Mary-ellen who would soon be made into a belt and glue. His goal was to travel through the space time continuim by biting a piece of the strand and murdering the mother of the man who would soon be squirting his mom's remains into a squeezy bottle. But time was running out for Timmy and Mary-ellen. His conscience was getting the best of him and the strand of grass was wearing low. Would Timmy be able to save his mom?

I'm totally lying. Don't worry, I'm sure my mom's vagina is fine. If it isn't, my little brother's big a*s head did it. And at 2 years old I was probably walking around with my thumb in my mouth and blanky in my ear. I was born to live. I just happened to stumble upon the magnificent wonder of writing. I'm in love with the complexity of words. They're never as simple as they may seem. Three words can produce 2 pages worth of meaning and 2 pages of meaning can be simplified into three words. It's a beautiful thing.

I guess I could be called a pathelogical liar. But I'm damn good at it, wouldn't you say? And what writer doesn't lie a little? Not everyone's life is as thrilling as Timmy and Mary-ellen's. Some of the best novels written today are pure fiction. I think it's because in story-telling, anything you want to happen can and will. But in real life, no such luck. You've gotta just go with the flow. I enjoy lying... I'm sorry, storytelling because I'm in complete control of what goes on. As a matter of fact! I'm gonna write a blog later about my day. It's gonna be thrillling. Breath-taking!! A box office hit. But none of it would've happened. That kind of makes me sad. If anything, I just love connecting with an audience. I adore the ability to make them feel what I feel. To tell a story that leaves them in awe. To be able to make them laugh or cry. I yearn to create a relationship with my readers through my writing.

Anyway, let me get to the point. I'm a 22 year-old devoted writer. I aspire to one day be a journalist. I want to attain the versatility to write about any and everything. Fiction and non-fiction. I want to write screenplays, novels, lyrics, poems, short-stories. You name it, I want to do it. And you know what? I'm totally gonna do it! AND!! I'm gonna take Timmy and Mary-ellen with me. So HMPH! Ignore most of that.. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm more random than normal... I'll probably have to re-do this section of my page later.


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Posted 11 Years Ago

If it did scare people off they have no sence of humor or imagination.

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Posted 11 Years Ago

I love your profile.
I laughed.