DotBLitH Chapter One

"Hey! Turn up the music, I can hardly hear it," Kim yelled from the back seat. She had her legs spread the full length of the backseat of the black leather interior car. She was sitting on her Boyfriend; Dan’s lap, her head almost completely out of the left side back window.

 

Rachel who sat in the back on the right side of the car rolled her eyes as she stared at her cousin, but she decided not to give Kim the response she was looking for and just looked back out the window.

 

Kim quickly pulled her head in; kicking Rachel with her legs as they hit the floor. Kim grabbed both the driver and passenger seats and pulled herself forward, putting her butt up in the air as she turned up the radio. She plopped back down on her boyfriend’s lap, kicking Rachel as she conveniently placed her too feet across her cousin’s lap once more.

 

Irritated Rachel finally gave her cousin a response, "Maybe if your face wasn't in your boyfriend you would be able to hear!"

 

Kim and Rachel were complete opposites. Kim with her black always-straight hair, dark red lips, and tan completion, her blue eyes always shinning in the darkest and lightest of lights, She was even athletic, a cheerleader dancer and track. She was every mans fantasy and she knew it that was why she was with the best of the best, Dan, the start football player.

 

Rachel on the other hand was a delicate flower, with curly brown hair and hazel ever changing eyes that no one seemed to notice because they were mostly always an odd gray or green. She was short, and naturally thin, brittle and not as flexible as Kim. She did not let that bother her as unlike many she had natural beauty and a brain. She was also in track, a faster runner than Kim who was in there to flirt with the hot guy. She was into the arts, being in band, choir and in college mostly for creative writing and journalism. She liked baggy clothes, her tiny chest couldn't compare to Kim's and her a*s like her breasts small in stature, what little meat she had was all muscle, mostly her thick thighs. She looked at her cousin through her plastic frame brown glasses.

 

Kim let out a small sigh as she placed her head back out the window and ignored her cousin’s comment. Kim was one to gloat about everything and Rachel hated it. If being stuck in a car with her alone wasn’t bad she now had to deal with her with her Dan. There was nothing worse than watching Kim suck on her boyfriend’s face. Not to mention her obnoxiously high laugh well she twirled her hair as though still an innocent school girl. It was the fact that Rachel had to share the back seat with her and had little room stuck basically smothered by the right door, after all the Kim's long California tanned legs were spread out, on top of Rachel's legs and Rachel was tired of literally being kicked a side.

 

The ride was long, but they all need a break from the campus life, all the schoolwork, and rules. They all needed the fresh air. However, the car now seemed worse than the campus to Rachel. They were all irritated; all but Kim of course, by the tiny car the five of them were impossible.

 

Finally, Kim moved her feet off Rachel’s lap.

 

Kim let out a small giggle and looked her boyfriend in the eyes.  “You know I love you, right?” She gave a white, sparkling toothed grin.

 

“How much do you love me?” Dan teased.

 

“Not in the back of my car,” Tray yelled back as he looked at two from the car mirror.

 

Tray, the one driving was the odd man out in the car. He wasn’t from the same campus as the rest, instead he was going to a nearby computer tech school for programming, but hasn’t decided his true major. He only decided to come because his cousin, Dan had talked him into it.

 

“Then pull over,” Kim said completely serious.

 

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her cousin. She watched her kissing on her boyfriend, watched them rub noses completely obvious to the fact that they were the only couple in the car. Rachel nor the two boys in the front cared to see their friendliness.

 

Kim had grabbed onto the collar of Dan’s shirt and made sure to sit directly on her boyfriends lap with one leg on each side.

 

Gage, the one in the passenger side finally looked back. “Woo… wow, can you please wait til we set up the tents! Gees…” It was all the usually quiet guy told as he turned back and looked out the window.

 

Gage was the best blocker on the football team. He was not much of a runner or a thrower, but knocking people to the ground was all he needed. He was a wide, but tall guy with scruffy brown hair. He needed to shave the bits of hair that were coming from his chin, but he decided not too, since they were going camping.

 

“Fine, fine” Kim let go of her boyfriends loose collared shirt as she turned and kicked her feet out, hitting Rachel in her thigh.

 

Rachel jumped as she felt Kim’s pointy shoe jab her not far below her hip. Rachel turned giving an evil glare at her cousin who was oblivious to Rachel’s anger. Still it was the last straw, the whole two and a half hours Kim has been kicking her. She had to deal with Rachel throwing fries the one time they had stopped to get food and stretch their legs.

 

"Damn it Kim, well you stop kicking me!” Rachel bitterly pushed Kim’s legs off her lap. Rachel unsatisfied with getting no response rambled on, “Who the hell wears six inch high heels camping anyway! I mean for goodness sacks, you cannot run in them. I hope you get chased by a bear," Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and slouched back in the seat allowing herself to peer out the window and away from the eyes of everyone in the car. Slowly Rachel sunk down pushing her feet up against the passenger seat. Gage turned his head to look at the thin girl now pushing half her weight into his back, but he didn’t respond to the uncalled for action.

 

Kim had swung around and sat properly in the middle seat, leaning her head on Dan’s shoulder, then she smiled and whispered in Dan’s ear, her lips brushing against his eat. He shook his head to say he didn’t agree with her request, but she nudged him and he let out a small sigh before speaking.

 

Rachel didn’t turn back to them for a long time. She ignored Kim’s laughing and whispering. Instead she focused harder on the world outside the car. Her eyes watching the long open fields and farm houses they passed. She was too annoyed to enjoy the beauty of the horses that roamed several white picket fences they had past. How much she would of loved to of hopped out of the car and road one of those horses all the to the camp site by site. The horses quickly disappeared in the distance though and were replaced by a field of almost ready corn. This just reminded Rachel that fall was just around the corner, and this was probably the last nice week of the year.

 

 “Rachel you should relax and be more like your cousin here” Dan said with a fake smile, almost as if trying to hold in a laugh.

 

Not even turning around to face them Rachel answered rather sharply her words one toned and almost completely slipped out without being thought completely through. “Oh, Kim not enough need someone else to suck your dick big man?”

 

“Wow, no fighting, I don’t need blood on my seats” Tray quickly chimed in. His voice was rather calm.

 

He had just made the first stop almost a half hour, just a simple stop light before turning right and heading down another long road, hardly a house insight, until they hit many mobile homes.

 

"Wow what a buss kill, why did I invite you?" Was the only excuse Kim could say as Rachel dished on her boyfriend.

 

"Hey, hey now chill out all of you, we are almost there" Gage finally spoke up.

 

Finally, they got to the camp, driving to the dead end of one of the roads, closest to the large lake, the fishing hole not that far. It was a simple little camp, the road even made of dirt. They pulled up into a section of dead grass, as no actual parking place had been created.

 

Tray stopped the car, and they all got out. Tray, Rachel and Gage started to set up the three tents. Dan and Kim were leaning against the car kissing and holding each other. Dan had short hair, army style; he was tall, buff, but not as buff as Gage. Dan was wearing hiking boots, loose jeans and a shirt, well Kim was wearing a tight spaghetti strapped shirt, a jean skirt and her black high-heeled boots.

 

"You love birds going to help out?" Gage yelled as he carried the cooler out of the small trunk over to the picnic table that just happened to be placed to the back of their campsite. They had the most reserved spot, closed off by the rest of the campers by trees on three sides of it.

 

"Na I think we will head down to the lake," Dan smiled to Kim as he put his hands on her hips and moved her side to side. She laughed, most people would see a cute couple, but knowing them, they only had one thing in mind. They could not do that here, at least in the dark water of a lake no one could tell.

 

"Yeah just let me get my new bathing suit" Kim winked as she turned and opened the car door and bent over the back seat to grab one of her bags that lines the floor, Dan clearly looking up her skirt as she leaned over the seat. She pulled out her bikini top and bottom and threw Dan his swim trunks. "We are heading toward the bathroom area we passed on the way in here," She added as she grabbed Dan's hand and started pulling him along. He followed like a lost puppy.

 

"Ahh young love, why the hell I am here," Rachel muttered to herself as she started setting up her own tent. “Hey Gage, guess what, she’s wearing a bathing suit this time,” She added as she turned to Gage who laughed and nodded.

 

“Shut up,” Kim told with a smile as they walked down the uneven road, her long strides keeping up with Dan’s long legs. She held her right arm high in the air, her middle finger up to say ‘f**k you’ back to Rachel as she kept walking.

 

"Same reason I and Gage are here Rachel,” Tray told as he started setting up his tent. “I think it is so that they have someone to talk to when they are tired of each other… anyway either of you want to go fishing?" Tray asked as he was starting to set up the tent he shared with Gage.

 

Gage muttering curses as he sat up Kim and Dan's tent. Gage wasn‘t good with reading the directions, and their tent, oddly didn‘t have any. “Kim, can I shove one of these long poles up their asses?” He was getting oddly frustrated.

 

“Sure go right ahead Gage,” Kim told. “Can I watch?” She added as she looked at Gage and Tray. “Tray to answer your question, I suck at fishing.”

 

“Fishing is easy, I’ll show you how,” Gage told, “But only if you set this damn thing up before it goes fishing too.”'

 

“Sounds like a plan to me” Tray told. Rachel just nodded as she walked over to Gage and didn’t hesitate to take the supporting pole from his hands. “By the way Gage, this is my tent, I left theirs in the car, they can set it up when they get back, even if it is under start light.”

Reviews

[tynamite]

go right a head should be ahead

I've read 3 paragraphs on this paragraph, and the introduction is effective as it moves at a slow pace, and I have to read it slowly too. It doesn't try to complicate things so that works.

Dan and Kim are on each other like fleas. I wouldn't call them slags though.
Hmm I wonder why you've chosen those characters, and what you have planned for them later on?

[The Water Queen]

Good start and great first chapter

[HorrorMaster]

Very good first chapter of this

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good first chapter. You are making the main characters interesting and create a very good story line. Nothing like camping for a good environment for good and bad things to happen. I will read on.
Coyote

[Daydreamer54]

Nice start here. Great detail and imagery, and u described ur characters well.
“Sure go right a head Gage,” Kim told. “Can I watch?” -um isn;t this rachel talking? Kim left off with Dan remember?

[David W Moore III]

Interesting start. Obviously got some family issues going in this story. We've got easy uncaring s**t vs smart downtrodden likeable one. We'll have to see where this one leads.

[RonnieBreight]

This was really hard to read. I like the idea though, and it seems like it will turn out to be a good story. But just read through it or have someone else, because there were a ton of places where it didn't make sense with grammar or sentence structure. And sometimes the descriptions were confusing. Like with how everyone was seated. It was hard to figure out. Other than that I like it and I think it will make an interesting story. :).