Abortion Story #9

(Submitted March 9, 2019)

I'm 17, was 16 at the time. It was my second year on the nexplanon implant and I was fresh into a new 'serious' relationship come December. March rolls around and I notice im not feeling great, I was showing signs but I thought no, I was protected. Unfortunately I was wrong and by the time anyone noticed, I was too far gone for those two pills that I had so often heard about. I was booked into the clinic a week later on a Wednesday morning. Wednesday arrived and I walked into the clinic, then left for college. I sat through that entire day waiting for the end, I felt as though my organs were failing. I didn't think I would be that 0.01% but I suppose you don't choose. It didn't take long for people to find out and I'm not even sure how they did.

I faced so much severe backlash from my peers, asking how I could do such a thing, but surely when I had taken so much precaution to be over 99% protected, I was justified? Surely I wasn't this terrible person everyone was making me out to be because I had been so careful? Nobody made this much of a deal when my friend had encountered a split condom, how was this any different? I still ask myself this now and I still feel waves of guilt every so often, but it doesn't take long for me to realise that I was never in the wrong, I am not a murderer and I carry no label. This is what is so important to remember, no matter your circumstances you never did any wrong. This is for the 0.01% who often aren't believed, who's doctors said there would be no way, who were refused pregnancy tests, who were doubted. There is hope. There is somebody out there who will listen. There is a future.
- Z.M.