I tried

I tried

A Poem by Akshat♥
"

trying sometimes presents you a place where everything is just seems like a miracle:)

"
I tried and tried and tried again
but its not working out
Its hard but I am trying..
giving everything I have..
still haven't found the right path..

I am trying to get close to it
but still far behind

Sometimes I get under it
grab it with my both arms
still far behind

It's getting worse the more I try

I am trying to sort it out
just the idea to do it remains laggard

One thought popped out from my mind
"I will try again tomorrow"

I try to push more
To give a last try

At last I succeeded 
feeling a big relief

Sometimes trying a lot
gives you a Success
its all the patience that counts at last











© 2016 Akshat♥


Author's Note

Akshat♥
Try to enjoy this poem..please review this honestly..
and rate it too..i will really appreciate it:)

My Review

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Featured Review

A simple poem with a painfully clear message.
I wonder if perhaps it's slightly repetitious...I understand that that feeds into the theme of trying again and again and again...I'd love to see you express this in a different form, more concise and limiting to see how you do; you're easily a good enough writer to do it. Maybe try taking the theme of the poem and putting it into the form of a haiku or a cinquain :)
But I reiterate, a nice poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Good thought.
As you asked to review honestly, here I go.
'Its' getting worse, the more I try...
I would also like to advice you to use punctuations when needed.
Keep writing ;)


Posted 8 Years Ago


Akshat♥

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Very enjoyable read! Thanks!
Get up and try again... Every day is given to you to try and if you do that then only can you taste the success
A

Posted 8 Years Ago


Akshat♥

8 Years Ago

Right! Thank you:)
A great message of never giving up. I think this is something we can all easily relate to. A couple of grammatical issues:

grabs it with my both arms (grab it with both my arms)

Its getting worse as I more try (Its getting worse the more I try)

Really enjoyed this. great job.



Posted 10 Years Ago


Akshat♥

10 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
I like the message, and i feel just like that, still trying, success ? not yet... not yet!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Akshat♥

10 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
You have given a nice message through this poem :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Akshat♥

10 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
Nice message with simple words :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Akshat♥

10 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Patience is so important in life..it really counts at last..
Nicely written piece :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Trying is too hard...when you can't see any path:(
filled with lot of emotions..

Posted 11 Years Ago


nicely written... and true its patience that only counts...

Posted 11 Years Ago


"You try, you fail, you try, you fail... But the only true failure is when you stop trying."

Posted 11 Years Ago



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90 Reviews
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Added on June 28, 2011
Last Updated on February 6, 2016

Author

Akshat♥
Akshat♥

New Delhi, India



About
hello(Namaste), You can call me (or ashu), I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..

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