I tried

I tried

A Poem by Akshat♥
"

trying sometimes presents you a place where everything is just seems like a miracle:)

"
I tried and tried and tried again
but its not working out
Its hard but I am trying..
giving everything I have..
still haven't found the right path..

I am trying to get close to it
but still far behind

Sometimes I get under it
grab it with my both arms
still far behind

It's getting worse the more I try

I am trying to sort it out
just the idea to do it remains laggard

One thought popped out from my mind
"I will try again tomorrow"

I try to push more
To give a last try

At last I succeeded 
feeling a big relief

Sometimes trying a lot
gives you a Success
its all the patience that counts at last











© 2016 Akshat♥


Author's Note

Akshat♥
Try to enjoy this poem..please review this honestly..
and rate it too..i will really appreciate it:)

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Featured Review

A simple poem with a painfully clear message.
I wonder if perhaps it's slightly repetitious...I understand that that feeds into the theme of trying again and again and again...I'd love to see you express this in a different form, more concise and limiting to see how you do; you're easily a good enough writer to do it. Maybe try taking the theme of the poem and putting it into the form of a haiku or a cinquain :)
But I reiterate, a nice poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very beautiful poem.
This actually reminds me of the quote, "Fail 19 times, succeed at the 20th."
Patience. and Determination. That's all we need to success! Great work!
10/10, two thumbs up. Keep it up! :-bd

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice..

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Someone who does not try will never obtain what he desires for. In this poem you've depicted how you keep on trying, even combating procrastination to get what you want. I also like the image of frustration as you keep on trying through the entire poem, and in the end as you gain satisfaction as you have success.
A great message in this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This has a very important message, and an advice that I really need now.
Working hard will eventually lead you to success.
Wonderful work!
and I liked the example you gave in here.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fifth stanza more and try need to be switched and in the seventh i needs to be capitalized

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

In the fourth stanza my and both need to be switched. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The speech pattern suggest somebody who uses English as a second language, but pleased don't take that as a negative comment. I regularly read people on another site whose first language is English ... but you wouldn't believe it.

Having said that and having now read a few pieces of your work I would suggest that this is an introspective piece. You are trying hard and you are succeeding so stick with it. Keep your efforts simple as you have done, fix the small things that you can see are wrong and your confidence will grow rapidly.
I like your attitude to your writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicely done. I really enjoyed the poem. Its what we all really do in life everyday. We try try try again until we succede. Well done in portaying that and keep up the excellent work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this one. Sometimes we try so hard that what we are trying for just seems to go further from our sight. other times, it just takes a lot of effort, courage, and patience to see it through!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is sweet. Needs some grammatical editing, otherwise its good

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2774 Views
90 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 28, 2011
Last Updated on February 6, 2016

Author

Akshat♥
Akshat♥

New Delhi, India



About
hello(Namaste), You can call me (or ashu), I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..

Writing
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