Warning of the Damning

Please note that I am a Christian, not a satanist. Agnes is the antagonist. As always, I hope you enjoy, and review.

          I soon found myself in a dark, warm place. Any thought of quickly observing my surroundings vanished once I turned all around, so I did the only action that any of my senses would give security to: I clung on to what felt like a debris-covered yet seemingly stable ground below me. I could feel the sweat running down my face, forming a paste with what felt like dirt as it ran. Nothing but faint echoes and my heavy stressed breathing could be heard from wherever I was. A putrid odor lingered all around me; it was an odor which I did not recognize then, but have inhaled and choked on many times afterwards; it was an odor that could only indicate suffering and hatred, or otherwise complete uncaring.

          It was the odor of burning flesh.

          I did not stay in that position long, though. Something had interrupted the already cloudy thought in my mind.

          “Welcome, darling, to my proud abode.”

          It was most certainly Agnes’ voice; hearing it made my fists clench in anger, and my legs ready to charge in the dark. Yet I knew, somehow, that she wasn’t addressing me. From what had happened earlier, I knew that she was talking to Læona.

          “Don’t mind the chains, dear,” she said in that condescending voice. “We wouldn’t want an angel to drop in and see you out of here, now do we?”

          I heard what sounded like chains tightening, and something else groaning in pain. That groan resolved me; I slowly silently stood on my feet, which, I felt, were bleeding from the falling and tumbling before. The voices were in front of me; I ambled towards them . . .

          . . . And tripped over a very hot jagged rock.

          “Well, well, well,” that voice chided after my fall. “It seems that one of your friends was caught in our little journey.”

          I sighed in frustration. “Is she hurting you?”

          I could hear Agnes’ cruel chuckle, and that soft-spoken, sweet, suffering voice of Læona reply. “A little.”

          I sighed again, but this time in relief. It was a relief, for me, that she wouldn’t lie even in the presence and under the submission of the black-heart witch.

          “I hate to break up your lovely reunion,” Agnes interrupted sarcastically, “but we simply cannot have your friend follow us, Læona.”

          With that, she snapped a finger.

          The snap echoed through what seemed to be tunnels surrounding us. My blood chilled despite the temperature, and even more when I heard, and felt, something swiftly pass me. There was a presence in these caves, one which left the air it passed a burning passage. I strained to see it, but to no avail. I stood back up as quick as I could, prepared as best I could to fight it.

          Yet it soon became them.

          More swishes came close, and many a cackling and cracking crawling accompanied them in the distance. The sweat was leaping off of me now, and I soon became dizzy. Every noise was meshed together; my thoughts soon after.

          Everything became clear, however, when a monstrous claw, I believe, knocked me to the ground. I slammed into the ceiling of wherever we were, and feel onto the same jagged rock. Læona shrieked in terror.

          “Can you hear what pain you have caused, my dear,” Agnes said hauntingly. “Can you smell the blood on the ground? Can you taste it in your mouth?”

          Everything about her words frightened me, for I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Læona could indeed smell my blood, taste my blood. I heard her whimpering; it contorted my heart in knots.

          “Don’t give in, Læona,” I shouted as I felt one of those things grab my leg. It was trying to pull me away from them. “You need to resist her!”

          “You need to fight me, Læona,” Agnes whispered.

          I became so infuriated about Agnes’ attempt to use Læona’s Pacifism that I kicked the monsters dragging me. More flocked over to me, as I heard, but that didn’t scare me more than the few I heard stalking towards the ladies. The thoughts that came into my mind of the harm that could have befell Læona were too much to bear; I ran as fast as I could towards what I could hear of her; the growingly distant rattling chains.

          I hit many rocks along the way; blood would have blinded me if there were any light to not see. The rattling grew louder, to my relief, yet the cracking crawling grew louder as well, to my great distress. There seemed to be no end in sight.

          Finally, just as I could feel the monsters’ breaths, I felt a chain drag against my leg; I desperately reached out in front of me . . .

          . . . And clung on to a body.

          It was Læona’s; chains had enveloped her to the point where she was being dragged on the floor on an inability to walk. Her hair was still long and smooth, and her skin still bruised, to my relief. I would not let the monsters harm this body any more than the world had already done.

          The beasts grabbed my legs, and pulled me off of the ground. I was taking the limp Læona with me, and Agnes’ progress was halted.

          “Haquazinn,” she shouted. “What do you think you and the other demons are doing?”

          I listened in disbelief, even though the proof was there, in the conversation, in their slithery seeping accents.

          “It’s the other human. It’s clinging on to her.”

          “I thought I told you to take care of him!”

          “We tried, Agnes,” another, more feminine, demon said. “We cannot harm him as long as he clings to her. We cannot purge betwixt them, or tear them in twain so long as she is nearby.”

          Hearing this, I clung harder to Læona with a bone-crushing determination. I felt so weak clinging to her, but I was afraid to lose my soul in this place.

          Agnes sighed in frustration. “Fine. Let him be. He can see what I wish to show our guest.”

          The demons in the background cackled. “Is this the one you told us of earlier?”

          Agnes’ voice became, in a cruel way, cheerful. “Yes, she is.”

          They cackled even louder, and released my legs. “Pray tell us how she fares with the sight-seeing. The times which we obtain guests like this are ever and anon.”

          “I will, Dhibiyon. Now, away, until we meet on the battlefield in Megiddo.”

          The demons crawled away from us, and Agnes continued to pull us away to only she knew where.

          “I am truly sorry, Læona,” I whispered. I could feel that I had broken her arm.

          Her only silent reply was “Don’t let go.”

          We were dragged for what seemed to be an eternity. After that eternity, however, I saw a light. It was dim, and it was red, but it was light. Agnes dragged us towards it, and as it became more intense, the temperature rose faster. By the time it became unbearable from the dark, my breathing became gasping, and every gasp brought in more of the burning flesh. Agnes brought us to a ledge.

          “Well, here we are, Læona,” Agnes said proudly. “The main attraction.”

          I was lying on the ground in exhaustion, so I couldn’t see what they were looking at; I could see their beings, however. Læona was covered in a dark substance, and her clothes had been ripped. Her eyes stared in fright, and tears ran down her face silently. Agnes was, in human condition, perfect; not a scratch or a bruise tainted her pale skin. I soon discovered that the paste that covered my face was blood, sweat, and ash; dirt seemed to be absent from this nightmarish place.

          I regained my footing slowly, stared out into the open . . . and froze.

          It was a lake of fire.

          The heat waves dried my throat and my skin, and my body shook violently at the blinding sight of figures thrashing all around. The demons by the millions, I would guess, surrounded them, and bit them and gnashed onto their skin. The screams were heart-pounding, the shrieks terrifying, and the cries deafening. There was a gigantic chasm separating us and them, to my relief.

          Agnes smiled. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

          Læona, for the first time in our encounter, became angry. “How can you find joy in this, Agnes? These people are suffering!”

          Agnes approached her calmly. “How can you be angry at justice, my dear? All the bad people come here, and suffer for their crimes. Are you surprised?”

          “Many a time,” Læona began, choking on tears. “I have read in the Bible of the lake of fire, and how it will cause suffering to those who reject Christ. I never could picture it in my mind, though . . . the suffering!” She broke down into tears.

          Agnes became overzealous. “Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet! I have two people that I must show you.” A sinister smile spread on her maniacal face as she began to take smoke from the air, and form it into an orb. I watched as the black ball lit up, and showed two images clearly. Their forms were unrecognizable, for they were covered in lava; their shrieks, however, suggested that one was male, and the other female. They were, to my surprise, holding each other as they suffered.

          “These two were the first people that I brought to this place,” Agnes said with a tinge of hatred. “They thought that they could focus their attention on helping others instead of giving me what I wanted.” She was becoming angry as she spoke. “They had the money to give me everything, but they used it to help others in need!” She spat that last part out, then wiped the smoke away. “You know, killing them was probably the best thing that I could have done, for once I did, your God allowed me to see the suffering that I had caused unto them for eternity.”

          Læona was bawling at this point. Agnes continued sinisterly. “I was proud of what I did, and lucky that they were blasphemers. Seeing what happened to bad people, I devoted my life to bringing people to hell, Læona.”

          “But why?”

          “So it would please Lucifer! Don’t you see, Læona, that there are so many contradictions to your God, but Satan offers all justice?”

          I was sickened by her. I was glad that I was not, and still am not, a Satanist, and knowing that I could still avoid this torment.

          “But you had to come along, my dear, and attempt to ruin my work. Your Christianity, although I wish not to brag about one of your faith, was better taught than that dilapidated church on the hill. You provided some competition for me.”

          I had to step in. “So, you cursed her to nightly torment because she was a Christian?”

          Agnes looked at me coldly. “You don’t know my true motive.”

          I became cynical. “Oh, yeah? And what is that?”

          “DAMNATION!”

          She cackled like the demons before, and stared at Læona as if she had some value.

          “Tell me, child,” Agnes began to speak to Læona. “Do you think that Satan will reward me greater for bringing him the soul of one who not only oppresses him, but has the ability to bring our town to Christ?”

          “Agnes,” I said angrily, although weary form dehydration. “Læona is a good girl. You should take your wares elsewhere.”

          “This town is full of people who are nonchalant and cynical about their very existence,” she told me. “To me, they’re just decoration.”

          Læona began to sing Ave Maria; I recognized it from her prayer she made when I was sick. Agnes took on a new look: a look of anger.

          “Who do you think you are, Læona Perdita Imogen, to sing that song? You were a catalyst for me, a sign that I had to speed up my work, to bring justice to the world. These people are suffering because of you!”

          Agnes had reached Læona’s spirit; she sang no more. Then I did something that I thought I would never do in my life.

          I sang Ave Maria.

          “Silence, you,” Agnes told me sternly. “You are nothing but a sinner.”

          Everyone is a sinner, Agnes. That’s why we need Christ.

          “Ave Maria, gratia plena-“

          “Silence!” She was becoming frustrated.

          Just because people don’t believe, doesn’t mean that we should cast them down.

          “Dominus tecum-“

          Agnes began to shake with fright. “Enough!”

          “Benedicta tu in mulieribus-“

          Something caught the attention of both me and Agnes: Læona had fainted. I was close to fainting as well; I needed water. Agnes recognized this, and smiled.

          “Looks like your time is up here. I should get you home . . . after all, Læona, I need you in full power for tonight.”

          She began to chant, and I took the time to pick up Læona. She looked at me, and smiled what she could. “Thank you, for the hope.”

          Everything soon warped, like it did before, and we were soon back in her tainted house.

          It took a while for me to regain my strength, but once I did, I looked out the window. The sun had nearly descended under the hills, which meant that it would happen soon.

          I heard Agnes in the background, humming to herself. Without waiting for her to appear, I ran for the door. Before I left, I looked at her, unconscious on the ground, and said,

          “I’m sorry, but I must warn everyone.”

Author's Note

2,282 words. Please tell me what you think of it. Also note that
-My folder Celeste helped me with this. She helped me discover some flaws in my plot.
-Like William Wordsworth, I wanted to focus this on emotion. Please tell me if anywhere here is weak.
-Again, I am a Christian. I love God, Jesus, and goodness.
-If there is any indication as to the gender of the narrator, please tell me, because there's not supposed to be any.
-Please criticize if you see it necessary.
-I HOPE YOU ENJOYED.

Reviews

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Very well done!! My skin was burning while reading this. This is just what I imagine Hell to be. Also I liked the ending. Faith brought them home.

oh my father was in Germany during WWII and he said that the smell of burning flesh was something he would never forget and would haunt him forever.

[Tate Morgan]

I will tell you this it is good.However to a young soul don't fear your instincts They are there to save your life .As far as Hell well in the middle ages the catholic church used Dantes inferno to explain what it didn't understand you cant burn what has no carbon such as a soul so worry not about going to hell it is painless .The bible doesnt give the descriptions of hell dante a monk in later yrs dreams t up