RECKLESS

RECKLESS

 

Mother drives like an aged soul

We pass our old clapboard house

On the rocky slope

I implore her to rush by

She hesitates to lend an ear

 

Painful memories surface

In my mind’s eye

I recollect my father

On our torn Moroccan rug

Peaceful as the mist

Hovers over the sea

 

Brown eyes still open, motionless

I gasp, cover my own in dread

Mother’s hands shake

She screams like an owl

As she shuts his upper lids

Then gently she settles next to him

Eyes a blur

 

How cruel to shroud me in torment

She is aware his ghost haunts me

Drunk, abusive, reckless demeanor

He stole my formative years

My frail mother

Never to realize the next slap or broken glass

 

He was unkempt, foul looks

And the stench of bourbon

Exudes from his outerwear

A foolhardy poltroon scours for his prey

 

My father’s old patterns

Hang about in my mind’s eye for days

Following the debacle

In the course of time

These agonizing reflections

Will fade just as the sun sets in the west

 

 

 

Reviews

[Scott Kris]

I think you could submit to MAD organization.
It is sad we have so many people die because of the reckless choices of others.

Thank you for sharing.

Scott

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Scott for your fine review!
Best, B

[Fran Marie]

A well crafted piece
painful memories. of
an abusive drunken father
expressed in tormented
descriptives brought to the
fore .deep feelings well conveyed

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Fran, much appreciated!
Best, B

[The Idea Laboratory]

I love your use of adjectives and fluent writing. You convey everything the reader needs to know about the situation in a nuanced, fluent way that draws them in with your writing yet haunts them at the same time.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for a thoughtful review!
Best, Betty

[Vertigo Cat1111]

This is beautiful. This feels like faint memory of a dream you once lived in. It’s like a novel written all in one that pulls you into its story. The way you wrote this is magnetic. I’m very much in love with it. Wow. The unfairness of this situation stings, and painfully relatable. I loved this so much, thank you for sharing. This is such a gorgeous, haunting piece.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Cat, I love your review...yes kind of haunting but also a subtly more upbeat ending... Thank you so much...so glad you're back...
Best, B

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Betty… I have been fortunate, but at Times.. reckless after swimming to Shore. Life is “what happens” and we gather the Moments of Reverie and sing with Elvis… the Gospel Songs.
Be blessed with kisses from the Wind and and Rising Sun. tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

Sometimes we can't help what we've been handed....
I have been very fortunate too...a very uplifting review Pat, not surprised....
Truly
B.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this situation is so unfair to a child...and growing up with these memories...they will never totally fade...the scars will still be seen and felt.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Isn't life unfair???
Thank you j. much appreciated.
Best, B

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Wow this is a powerful and emotional journey of a poem B. It mirrored much of my childhood as far as the abusive nature is concerned. My father was an alcoholic and abuser as well. He would attack my mother in his drunken rages and me as well. He beat me so bad with a belt one night right before I was to give a recital for band at a Christmas school event. My hands were wilted red and swollen I couldn't hold my clarinet. I had belt lashes on my face as well. I was about 10 or 11 at the time. My mother cleaned the blood off me and dressed me up and made me go to the recital to preform, despite me being unable to hold the instrument in my hand. I will never forget that shame I felt for the rest of my life. I forgave him years later before he passed, but it took many years after to forgive myself. There are times I still see those ghosts, but they hold less power over me than they used to. Thank you for sharing your poem with us. Its message has touched my heart. CLE

[Betty Hermelee]

So sorry, Carlos that your childhood was so stifled by a drunken and abusive father...it's hard to forgive too. Thank you for your very personal and in-depth review.
best, B

[softlyfall]

I can tell that the emotional pain in writing this grows as the poems develops. The first stanza is pretty flawless. The second presents an image that takes some time to clarify- then the fact of your father's death is manifest. I would actually consider leaving off the first two lines of the second stanza. "In my mind's eye" is not a phrase you want to use unless you can make it new again. Trust me, your readers understand that painful memories are surfacing.
The remainder of the poem is less carefully crafted, but more poignant.
All in all a fabulous catharsis poem.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks so much for visiting and reviewing my poem, much appreciated.
Best, Betty

[Lorry]

Yes, memories of an unhappy childhood and fear from someone that should not only know better, but be better will fade, but still resonate through time and space, never to be completely outrun by the victims of their cruelty.
If only we could rip out memories that can be replaced with happier ones, like the way nothing seems to be quite as faded or torn these days. If only Amazon delivered better childhood memories, the weight of living might not be quite as heavy.
Your imploring of your mother to rush by is in itself childlike and innocent, in much the way that I rushed by the house that other kids told me was where a witch lived, refusing to look at it meant to me that it didn't exist and neither did she. But for someone who didn't exist, I sure spent a lot of energy trying hard to believe she didn't exist either, while not quite realising that I was keeping her alive through fearing her.

[Betty Hermelee]

Great Review Lorry, so much appreciated!!!
Best, B