I've Decided

Idk why it took me so long to c this..

It can be said that I now speak for my emotions,

Speaking my mind,

Yes, speaking for all that is within me.

Yes, all that has been getting hurt all this time.

All that has chosen to withstand all this.

Foolish inner torment!

How dare you put yourselves on the line?

How dare you wait around just to be thrown to the ground by invisible powers?

Have you no sense?

 

Persons always say, "You have so much more to learn."

Yet, in my ignorant bliss, I say, " I'm actually different u know! I can handle this!"

Look where I am now!

Just look at me!

How pathetic!

How could I be waiting around for a love that is indeed beyond my reach?

How could I have plunged into the deep abyss; the unkown...just to take that "leap of faith"?

How could I have left my heart out for the sun's ultra-violet rays to dry up every last ounce of love?

How foolish!

 

Why didn't I let go?

Why??!

How could I have allowed myself to reach this point?

The point that signifies all forms of confusion and then sudden anger?

Yet...why am I surprised?

Why am I feeling so hurt?

Why do I cry inside?

 

I'm surprised because this was supposed to be "unique".

I'm feeling hurt because everyone was right..yes, excluding me..as usual.

I cry inside because I refuse to cry on the outside.

Because that, I feel...is the height of all stupidity.

Why..u ask?

Why shed tears over the one that has hurt you?

Why feel sorry because things do not work out in your favour?

What sense does moping make?

 

At this point, no one can convince me that this is not my fault.

I did not need to be in this situation.

Everything happens for a reason...a saying that I have adapted.

But, where does that leave me.

Sure, that comforts me for a split moment..

But where does that leave me once that moment is gone?

Time is on nobody's side.

 

I've decided that it's time.

Time to move on.

I've sed this before..I know.

But the mere fact that I have to remind myself shows how devoted I am.

How foolish.

I've decided to allow things to stay the way they are.

Yes, I'll just deal with these foolish emotions while you go on your merry way.

Call me bitter, call me hurt, call me pathetic, call me compassionate...call me what you will.

 

All I know is that you're the first guy I've ever loved this much!

And this is no damn joke!

I've sucked all this in like a damn sponge...

But God knows this situation has squeezed out my last ounce of patience.

My patience has been abused..

Whether or not it was intentional.

You're the first guy thats held my heart so close...

Sad thing is, you're not the first guy to make it bleed.

 

What makes you so different is that bond....

Chemistry..

What a horrible thing.

A friend keeps telling me that I care too much.

And I believe it.

Because that's why I'm sitting here..pouring out my heart in something that'll just be seen as a mere write.

Such ignorance!

Love?

Hmph!

Blasphemy!

 

I've decided to surrender.

Yes, throw in the towel.

However hard that may be.

Forever more..I shall be taunted by the fact  that you've found the love of your life which is fine..but silly old me.. was left behind...only because I chose to play "Mr. Nice guy".

This only leaves me alone and cold....and just....feeling deceived.

 

May you sincerely be happy.

Till death do you part.

May no one interrupt the emotion that you have nurtured so.

May your souls join together as one.

Never to be parted.

 

As for me....

I've decided to give up!

 

 

Author's Note

Throwin in the towel!

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

When you love someone with all of your heart and they mistreat you, you are the winner if you leave and treat your heart right. Don't give up because of that clown. Your Prince is coming. This poem was a great read. Like something out of a novel. They way it was presented was awesome. Blessed you did your thing again girl. Don't forget your Prince is coming.

[Broken Warrior]

I see feel a lot of regret. Its obvious. We all face regret. but what the real problem regret poses is it points out something we may think we did was wrong. Good piece, emotional, heartfelt, good piece.

[luke312]

You've made your desigion remember it and find another to share your love

good poem