You Walked Away

You Walked Away

A Poem by Sbernie18

You walked away, you said goodbye,

You turned your head but don’t know why,

When everything that seemed to last

Like all your world it always passed,

It came and went so slow but sure,

Your head and mind and thoughts obscured,

But now you guess and wait to see,

You wait to see alone cause she,

Is still the same with her blonde hair,

Her glowing eyes, her touch and stare,

The day has changed but still’s the same,

What’s only changed was hers to blame.

© 2011 Sbernie18


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Reviews

When someone walks away without knowing what they really have in their hands, is a loss for one and a gain for another. Good write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


nice work . i like the rimes on it some people get stuk with rhyme.

Posted 8 Years Ago


It is full of pathed resilence to common grammar, you tend to fill the readers head with image after image, a truly great aspect of your writing, well done, good read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really like this but if I could offer one small criticism or comment, for me, I find the commas at the end of (almost) each line slightly distracting. It gives a dlightly staccato feel to it (which maybe exactly what you're going for). For example, I'm not sure it fits in '...cause she, is stil the same...'.
That said, this is a really minor point and just a matter of taste. Overall, cracking with a rolling pace.

Posted 8 Years Ago


interesting and great poem. I like it

Posted 8 Years Ago


Its great(:

Posted 8 Years Ago


Interesting poem to read. Seems like a person just made a snap decision, and it ended badly. Too bad.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sometimes people think they're doing good for themselves when making a decision but then reality is a b***h. It hits you and then when the damage is done, they want to erase those painful regrets. Sadly, they can't do that anymore. Things don't work in that motive, rather they stay the same but the shadow changes. If you get what I mean.

Posted 8 Years Ago


dang! nice love it !:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I thoroughly enjoyed this. I too have been through a relationship like this. However I am in the midst of re-pursuing it and I refuse to give up this time without a fight. This poem reminds me of how I thought of her. Especially when I would unexpectedly see her. Nothing changes. Not the care or the love. At least not for me.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on August 11, 2011
Last Updated on August 11, 2011

Author

Sbernie18
Sbernie18

Syracuse, NY



About
Hey, I'm from Syracuse. I write poetry, lyrics, a few short stories and longer stuff. I try to be as active as possible and review what I can. I love reading new poems and stories everyday so send me .. more..

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