Ethan steel

it is time to bring in the zen master of steel (sorry if its short) Note: wood and steel are opposing elements ;)

                                  Boken: transfer Samurai: Ethan Steel

"I'll have the money by Friday I swear said a desperate man," said a desperate man. he looked like a wall-street guy. he wore a suit and his family was in his house right behind him. This man was making some dealings with the Yakuza also known as the Takeda family. The man was on his hands and knees begging. There was a young adult about nineteen looking down on him. His eyes were cold like Steel, his hair silver, his eyes matching, he has a silver trench coat, it was made from a wind breaker material, he had  he had white leather gloves. he had white gator skin boot steel-toed boots, he had metal plate covering his heels, he was holding a sword in a black sheathe, this youth had a original Masamune, he wore white dress pants, and a white button up dress shirt. The desperate man was grabbing on his slacks while crying, begging him to give him time. the cold one kicked him in the stomach. He fell over holding his stomach, "did you know that tears carry sodium or also known as salt. I just got thes dry cleaned, sodium stains you know?" he said coldly. 

"Get up you pathetic excuse of a man. do you know who I am Mr. Montgomery?"

"yeah they call you quicksilver of the Yakuza because you swordsmanship is so impressive you can repel bullets shot from AK 47s."

"that  is one rumor, I am Ethan Steel. I am only sent on hits. I am a hit man who bares a sword. they or he does not plan on letting you live. But I am an honorable man. I would not want your daughter veronica to find out you made a deal with the Yakuza. so if you wish for her to attend that school I suggest you pay us back on Friday."

"But my daughter does know its why she takes being a school treasurer at the school. she does not want to end up like me."

"well, I will call lord Takeda please wait." this cold man pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number it rang three times. each time it rang Montgomery's heart would beat faster. he was terrified of the Yakuza and should be. "Mr. Takeda he wants more time. yes he said he could have by Friday. under stood," he walked up to him eager to tell him the news. "are you a religious man Mr. Montgomery?"

"yes i am."

"which religion do you practice?"

"i am Roman- catholic, why?"

"you better thank the saints for saving you, but i must mark you like god marked Cain, hold out your hand." so he did. Ethan unsheathed his sword. 

"wait what atr you doing?" Ethan grabbed his hand and impaled his palm. He cried out in agony. he pulled the sword. "Next time it will be your legs and if you still fail to pay up the it will be your heart, do we understand each other Montgomery? 

"yes i under stand," he said. Ethan grabbed a clothe and cleaned his blade. "take this and clean yourself up."he sheathed his sword and wandered in the night. he came to a central park and he saw a familiar high school student and an american girl. the high school student looking down the ally and noticed the metal blade. he grabbed his Bokken ready to strike. "well aren't you defensive... Boken.

 Boken and Steele were staring each other down. Steele started to look over at the girl. "an american girl...he looked back at Boken... what happened to Ryoko Boken?" asked the man with the cold eyes. "the last time we saw each other Ryuukai killed her because she protected me," he said with what looked like a tear that ran down his right cheek. "now, Umiko, her twin sister is in america to avenge her death she blames you, you know?" he said coldly. "yes she does... because i could not protect her," Boken said in a sad tone. Boken had a look of  defeat in his eyes.

"Coward... that is the look of defeat. i cannot stand the look of a coward. what happened to Kenji that beat me i eight consecutive war god exams. how dare you you accept death so easily. you and i have a score to settle. If you go through with it i will ill her my self," he antagonized Boken. "don't you dare Ethan, this is between me and her." he had a look of rage in his eyes. "that's the Boken i know, eyes full of passion." h e said with a smile. "wait... what is he talking about Boken? why does he call you a coward? I've seen you, your no coward.

"Its nothing, you need to concern yourself with my problems,'" turning his back to her. "Rachel thank you for being so accepting of me. no matter what happens to me please don't allow your self to be miserable."he said. "what are you talking about? don't talk like that. when my mother was on the death bed after dads accident she would talk like... no!" she fell to her knees and started to cry. "Ethan walked up to her, "so you figured it out haven't you Rachel was it.  yes he is thinking of  handing his head over to a zen master of water. it's pathetic really to just accept death. so this is what i am going to do." he removed his trench coat and rolled up his sleeves. he grabbed his sheath and slightly unsheathed his sword. "only i am worthy of killing you Boken, for these two reasons; i am the zen master of steel and your nemesis. 

Author's Note

Masamune is an actual sword you can Google it if you wish. the Masamune and the swords made by the black smith were the finest swords of feudal japan. they were the sharpest and most durable.

Reviews

[PokemonFan#1]

Woah, woah, woah! That's it?! This can't be! This is a cliff hanger!! I want to know what happens next! Please, please, pleeeeease work on the next chapter, pretty please?

Ahem! Any way....aside from that, it was very well written and is very exciding and suspencful. It leaves us wondering what will happen to Boken next. I look forward to the day you put up the next chapter. I love it so far! I wanna know what happens next! ^_^ (Now I will be in waiting for Imagination-mage to update P.E.T. and your Boken story!)

Keep it up! (It's so great so far!)
=^_^=

[Jack Isaac]

Very interesting --yes, very interesting indeed! Quicksilver strikes me as the ruthless type yet lets the pathetic Wall Street gent go with little more than a mark. Both honorable and ruthless -- I like that! You writing strength is definitely in your knowledge of underworld dealings with exotic weaponry. Your character Ethan Steel is definitely well portrayed in that setting.

Woah -- but the huge problem here is in saying "he had" --I don't see that at all --he is clearly in the here and now --present and accounted for. Unless Ethan is a ghost and I missed that part. His character will be much stronger in the present tense.

As for Bokken, sorry, I'm totally confused. Otherwise, your story is well developed and going in a great direction. Can't wait to see next chapter.

[Susanna F]

You seem to have a lot of knowledge about your subjects. My only advice would be to re-read this for grammar errors, and try to get any descriptions to flow with the action more. I guess this is sort of anime-based, right? What works as dialogue in animation doesn't always seem realistic on paper. Reading aloud helps me with my flow and dialogue. Fascinating start!

[_]

^(•_•)^ i could never write anything like this its to cool ^-^

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

A very unique and interesting chapter!