Ever After

The idea of a shaved head as crystal ball was inspired by WC writer Horizon K in her poem First Kiss. Of course her tale was more the happily ever after type.

Touch it you said

Yet another shaved head

Lately you seemed to be spinning

How was I to know?

This had become a crystal ball

Like Eli’s painting on the fridge door

You jumping from the boat into

Shark infested waters

If I had laid on hands

and rubbed as you asked

would I have foreseen the future

Your walking out our door forever. 

Reviews

[Shaun Payton]

If we had crystal balls thered be no true experience in my opinion. Things end to begin something new, while sad, time tells and life does go on.

[DCT ponderings]

Indeed it does. And with each and and new beginning we grow a little bit more.

[Shaun Payton]

Yes we do BCT/DCT/:):):)

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a powerful poem, DCT. The end of a relationship is always painful.. I like the imagery of the bald head being a crystal ball, the shark-infested waters.. lots of good meat here to digest.

[DCT ponderings]

All true. The end of relationships are always worthy of prose. Thanks for reviewing my pieces. I owe you a few and I will eventually get through the 85 awaiting my review and definetely plan to get to your work. :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

I am behind too hun.. so no hurry

[Nick.B]

Great poem with a sad feeling at the end...great job

[DCT ponderings]

Thank you Nick.

[Leandro Mendez]

:( sad one here.. well written.

[DCT ponderings]

A friend encourage me to write a more recent piece. Sad it was. Thanks LM

[Keith]

Thats a great poem, was there a hint that he was restless or planning to go much earlier? My children have often said things or foretold the future in their art so it seemed. We wonder, coincidence or sixth sense?

[DCT ponderings]

I believe it was sixth sense. But I know the boy and I know his Grandmother. So that's what makes my ignoring it that much worse.

[SteveB]

BRAVA!
The child's painting on the refrigerator door was the perfect thing to prevent this from spinning off into the "poetical" and I hope you understand what I mean by that. The harsh reality of that very tangible image grounds this piece and gives it weight. Without that the power of the last lines would be lost.
Thank you so very much for sharing this.

[DCT ponderings]

Steve- Thank you for this review. It is much appreciated. I added that line in order to ground the piece so it didn't fly off frivolously. Glad to hear it worked.

[KAOlmsted]

Ouch...Holy cats, I really felt this one. Those last four lines. Dude. Those were some pretty powerful lines.

[DCT ponderings]

Thank you. Powerful Pondering for me. :)

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure.

[Jack...]

Truely sad, the photo on the fridge door did it for me. Nicely done my friend.

[DCT ponderings]

It did for me to. And to think at four years old he saw what I couldn't. Thank you.

[quinfinn]

truly an ingenious concept and done to perfection...this is positively unique and traverses the gamut of the emotional spectrum. good job!

[DCT ponderings]

The image of head as a crystal ball was inspired by Horizon K. After that it was all down hill (perhaps up hill) into my own personal journey. Thanks again.

[quinfinn]

give yourself credit for a brilliant segue!

[DCT ponderings]

I will. thank you.

[Horizon K.]

Very cool and I like the descriptions of spinning and shark infested waters, it really draws the image of a man who is becoming restless, a man about to leave... and you have me back at 16, rubbing on a shaved head and wondering what I foresaw...

[DCT ponderings]

Your was the sweetness of 16. Mine was 2 divorces later. :)