Penny For Your Thoughts

I wrote this particular piece also when i was fifteen This poem's from what i can remember is about people that pretend to hate you but love you and visa verse Full criticisms please

If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you say better yet what would you think
Would I be a millionaire whining and dining in riches
as the image of my facial being soars through the dimensions of your weary mind
but your shelled exterior tries evidently to block out your thoughts of me?
leaving me another sidewalk urchin trying to find a home or hope
Or would i be penniless suggesting that my outer being doesn't process or trigger a spark in your mind making you thoughtless but your warm exterior greets me with the most gratitude , love and kisses like an angel released for the gates of heaven planting seeds on another soul that's lost the war of life.
Now to re-iterate the opening line
If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you think?

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems , tell me what you think :)
For people saying it reads with an london accent
I AM FROM LONDON :-) Read and enjoy
Peace and Love

Reviews

[Bella-Marie]

Very interesting. Very thoughtful. Very powerful.
Very short.
Which is good. The length of this poem makes it straight the the point yet it isn't cruelly blunt. And the fact it is a poem yet... not a poem... makes it very interesting and different.
I like the idea of not using full-stops to make it sound like a waterfall of words and ideas and sentences that somehow make sense as the fall.
I like the main idea about having a penny... or indeed, being penniless... because that is a main theme you have woven into the poem and you didn't do a bad job either.
In fact, you did an excellent job.
Ka Pai.

[E.H. Monroe]

The split second thought of sucha cliche'd statement that most douchewaffles through around and have no idea what is really in the mind, and dont wanna know. The flow is tight, long and harsh. One of those stage killers.
Get your boots on, its s**t kicking time

[robyn.alexandra]

Good and simple open honesty. Clear and well executed images, interesting thoughts expressed well. I have a pretty Scottish accent, but in my head it reads as like a London accent?
and it gives it another layer of grime.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

You bring up some interesting concepts and ideas. The images used are clear, interesting and elaborate your points nicely.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Digging for the truth tends to reward us with treasure.
This is a gem.

[Emily B]

The flow is wonderful. I heard your voice rumbling through the words and that is always the important thing.

[Ruth]

I think this is exceptional! An intelligent write love that infuses a universal aspect to the understanding of life! Money can't buy everything but neither can lack of not knowing, beautiful piece love xx

[Calypso]

I think this poem was ironic and it brings up a few ideas.
Does a millionaire really have happiness?

[JanieB]

I like your style.

[Loner]

Really captivating and has a hook to it.