The Ultimate Punch Line.

A Chapter by Dark Batman

Joker found a cheap apartment near the middle of Gotham city on Mortimer Ave. There was no need for a "secret hideout". Not yet anyway. He was a free man. The apartment was secretive enough anyhow: cash up front, no paperwork. That's how he liked it. It wasn’t a big apartment, just one floor with fifteen or so rooms. It was more like a dump than an apartment. The best part was the main entrance. It has clean glass doors which opened up to a carpeted area. The carpet was vacuumed and had a bunch of brochures lying on a table. Joker thought it looked more like a small rundown motel. In fact, that’s probably what it was before it was an apartment. There was a nice front desk with a bell that looked like nobody had used in over twenty years and a man who was in his late thirties who ran the place. Joker had found the apartment before he set out on the kill that morning.
Joker didn't have many things with him, just the old clothes he was wearing and some old gloves he had found so the police couldn't trace his fingerprints on the knife he used to kill with earlier. He looked just like anybody else: no makeup, no green and purple, nothing to identify him as the Joker. He felt naked. Before he entered his room he used the phone at the desk to call one of his men. Every villain has men who would do anything for them, either out of extreme loyalty or extreme fear. Most times the latter.

"I'm out, I'm at the apartment.....of course come right away.....just come… oh, and bring me the box."

Joker hung up the phone and turned without looking at the desk attendant then started for his room.

An hour later Joker heard a knock at the door.

"It's open." Joker said with a melodic tone.

A tall muscle bound man walked in with a cardboard box in his arms. He looked like an ex-marine, had the hair of a surfer and the personality of a small time criminal.

"Joker! I can't believe my eyes, it's really you. You're really back."

"That's right, I'm back. And there's going to be a new punch line this time.....hand me the box, Thug."

Joker liked to call him, Thug. His real name was Bob Sims but Joker thought Bob was too common a name (and too unfunny). Bob didn't particularly like to think of himself as just a common thug but who was he to argue with Joker.

"What's the punch line boss?"

"The Batman.....the Batman broken down. Broken down to our level."

Joker took a pair of purple pants out of the box and began to change.

"Yes, Thug", he said with a grin. "The Batman broken down to MY level....the Batman without any rules…the Batman forsaking his way. Wiping the smug sense of justice from his cowl. He’ll try to kill me.”

Joker started to laugh. Thug hadn't heard that laugh in well over three years. He thought he'd feel right at home once he heard it again but instead it sent chills down his spine the way it always had before.
"But er boss, why would you want Batman to try to kill you?"

"Because I win if he does." Joker said, still wearing the grin.
Joker began to change into his green vest and purple overcoat and placed a small metal box full of makeup on the counter next to him.

"Now here's the punch line," Joker's grin got wider. "If Batman doesn't try to kill me he will have to allow me to keep committing crimes. If Batman tries to kill me it means he’s forsaken the rules he plays his game by."

Joker cackled and exchanged his old gloves with purple ones then began to apply his makeup and green hair dye.

Thug didn't like the sound of Jokers "punch line". It was all a game for Joker. Thug cared about burglaries, money, girls, and living the high life (at least trying to). But all the Joker seemed to care about was the cat and mouse game between him and Batman. He was too scared to cross the Joker or even try to leave his posse so for now he had to go along with whatever sick game the Joker had cooked up.

"Eh..b..boss?" Thug nervously stammered. "Why does the Batman matter so much?"

Joker finished with his hair and looked straight in Thug’s eyes without smiling.

"BECAUSE!" The Joker screamed. "Because he is the batman." Joker lowered his voice and

started to smile again. "They say relationships are the most important thing in life....his and mine is no exception."

The truth was Joker was sick. Sick and tired of the game he and Batman had been playing for years; the back and forth bull crap of justice vs. villainy. It was fun and amused him for a while but it was different now. Now it was all about the end game. It wasn't about what he could get away with before Batman spoiled his fun. It wasn't about a fight to see who would come out as champion. It was about Batman. It was all about Batman this time. Joker didn't care about money, or power, he didn't even give his reputation much thought. It was all about Batman. It wasn't about killing him as it had been many times before. It was about breaking him down so as to have the ultimate victory. This time death wasn't the ultimate punch line.