Thursday Visit

Even on breaks

Early Thursday morning, I find myself walking down 5th street. Surrounded by offices, places to eat and other random buildings.

I wasn't hungry, I didn't need to stop in any of the buildings, I simply wanted to walk. I wanted to feel the breeze and hear different noises.  Being kept up in an office for long period of times makes you want to do these kinds of things.

Anyway, I kept strolling down the street walking carelessly. I had nothing to worry about, the sun was shining and people were happy. I discovered new shops, a few places that I would like to try to eat.

Eventually, as I tire from walking around so much. I found a bench that faced the street, I happily took a seat in order to rest my feet. And for a brief moment, the world slowed.  I casually looked around but everyone and everything moved at a slow pace. I wasn't sure what was happening, or if something was going to happen. I could move my upper body, but my lower half didn't seem to move.

I didn't panic, I simply continued to sit, I let the world slowly move around me. I closed my eyes, I could hear people and other things struggling to move about. I pondered to myself,

"Maybe I'm dreaming, or perhaps I've passed out."

Neither of them were actually the case.

The world began to pick up pace, people starting walking faster, objects began to move as they would and time began to turn again.

I took a look towards my right, and a women began to point at me. She seemed flustered, like something was wrong. I could see the veins in her head bulge as she tried to scream something.

I slowly turned towards my other side, only to see a vehicle driver had been drinking and passed out on the wheel of his moving truck. I still couldn't move, but that was alright. I simply sat there.

Slowly turning back towards the women and smiling. I'm sure she wasn't happy to see it, but there was simply nothing I could do. There was nothing abnormal about me being there, or how time seemed to freeze. I think the world simply wanted me to take a good look at there world one last time. This was simply my fate, I had no regret for that day.

Sun was shining, the people were smiling and the world was moving. However for me, that late afternoon.

I was struck by a delivery driver that was drunk at work, I sat upon that bench and never did leave.

It was however, such lovely scenery.

Author's Note

Had a little time, so I sat down at work and scribbled a few words upon the desktop.
Lots of room for improvement here, so lemme know what you think.

Reviews

[McBear]

I really liked it! Just maybe use some more detail and on the first line maybe instead of using "random" use "Surrounded by offices, places to eat and other assorted buildings." In my opinion, it just flows a teeny bit better. But overall, very good!

[PHFASCES]

tells a beautiful tale of an optimistic man enjoying the scenery and smiling at the fact that he has no work for a while. haha. i love it. very nice

[Briana Noël Manzan..]

I like how calm and nonchalant he is. "It was however, such lovely scenery" That last line was perfect.

Grammar notes: "Women" should be woman if it is just one woman.
"there world" should be their world.

Also, I think using world twice is a bit redundant, I would suggest changing the first to universe. ( The universe simply wanted me to take a good look at their world one last time."

Otherwise, it was a very good read!

[A.marie.speaks]

Super unique perspective with a cool message/concept. I love the way you describe time slowky, stopping, speeding back up again. I immediately thought drive by shooting, and was perplexed by him being hit by a drunk driver.. I think I had trouble visualizing it. A quick extra sentence or 2 to help the reader see what you've imagined to happen would go a long way because I think you've scratched at something really different and new. Great work!

[Insight "MH"]

Good job on this fine write, it really made me picture the time freeze at the end witnessing that as if it really happened In front of me.

Insight.

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

i think this is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!