Secrets

Ch1
"No mom! Not again.." I threw my cushion across the room.
"But darling...." my mom started.
"No! For God's sake letme live in peace!" I shouted, interrupting her 'you don't get it' speeches...
        ****************
I went straight to the library,grabbed a random book and got seated in a quite corner by the window overlooking the park.
I lost my train of thoughts...staring blankly at kids playing catch below me..I was brought back to reality by a stinging slap on my back.
 Ouch! 
"what the..."I turned around to see who it was and saw mike..grinning down at me.
"hey weedbrain..wussup?" he fell on the chair beside me.
"nothing..I smiled at him..
"Sure..?"he raised his eyebrows.
Mm-hmm..
"So why are you reading a political science's book? And that too upside down".
Embarrassed, I looked down.
"It's nothing really..mom wants to move out..again".
"What now?".
I could see that he was upset. There was sudden restlessness in his eyes.
"Yep ,again but don't you worry..I told her I ain't going anywhere".
"Yea do it ....talk to her .She can't just run around like this..I wonder what's up with her".
"Beats me".I shrugged 
"Ok u wait here I gotta get this book issued ".
I nodded.
As he went to the librarian I stared at him.. I knew I was in love with him..crazily in love with him and I felt that he too liked me that way but I was not going to ruin my friendship with him over some stupid hunches..
He was worth waiting for..with his dark hair n fox grey eyes that oh to die for smile his easy going manner I could wait for him for a lifetime.
I smiled at my thoughts...
"Hey what are you going all dreamy smiley on?" he was back.
"Hahh..just fleeting thoughts you know.."
"So let's go?"
"Yeah let's "
On our way back we grabbed coffee talking to mike was always relaxing he always made me laugh its nice to have someone who listens to you n cares for you
He dropped me off at my front door I lingered for some time in the porch weather was really pleasant though the night was quite dark it was not scary
As I opened the door to the living room I could hear my mom's voice arguing with someone on the phone
She switched her cell off as soon as she saw me
"Who was it?"
"Oh no one u have to worry about" her face was telling some other story.
"One of your many secrets" I nodded.
"Please cassie, not now" she suddenly sounded so tired.
"Ok !well I don't wanna know anyway." I stormed towards my room slamming the door behind me.
         *************
It was always like this for me..
My father's been dead before I was even born so I never got to see him
Mom worked at a law firm and from what she earned I guess she must be a pretty good one because we were rich..not crazy rich but enough to afford a luxurious lifestyle..
There was this weird thing about us which I never understood.. 
We moved alot...amour was. The first town in which we lived for whole three years apart from the house I spent my early years of childhood.. As soon as I turned 13 all I know is we are always packing and unpacking..
It was our 11 house in last 4 years..
It was always the same drill. One day I'll come back from school and there's mom all packed and ready to hit the road..
I tried so hard to get her into telling me what's going on but she would not..it was one of those mysteries for me which you had to live with..guessing all the good and bad scenario yourself. There was this time when I started believing I was a vampire..well I was crazy for twilight and this came up as the only reasonable excuse.
"Sweety you up?"
I sat up "yes"
"Just checking in to say that you need to pack your stuff" she came and sat at the far end of the bed.
"I told you I'm not going anywhere. At least not until you tell me honestly that what exactly is going on".
"Listen Cassie !your a kid you don't know what..."
"Stop it mom stop it..you owe me an explanation you can't keep on ruining my life like this, you have any idea what is it like to start your life over and over again? Why can't we be like a goddamn normal family!! Look at me! I've no friends no life nothing to look forward to" I was shouting and it was hurting her. I could see but I wanted answers 
"I-AM-NOT-GOING-ANY-WHERE! Not even across the street unless you tell me what's going on". I continued more calmly.
She sighed as though resigning..
"Ok heres the truth.." She looked at me "Cassie you are.." 
She stopped and I edged closer towards her.
The biggest secret of my life was about to unfold..

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

This sounds like an interesting piece, I'm just a little confused to where she is in the beginning, is she thinking back when she was talking to her mom? or did she run off to the library after having that conversation? I also noticed that some dialog isn't capitalized and you use "u" and others in some places. When writing a story you want to stay away from text talk as much as possible unless it's a scene where they are reading an actual text or something. I also see that you are jumping from scene to scene a little to quickly. I would like to see in the beginning when she was talking to her mom and then went to the library (if that's the case) show her running outside the house and going up the street, maybe thinking to herself and then reach the library. I understand writing down these things quickly like you did here because it is easier to go back and polish it up a bit. I also have a hard time putting enough information in a story, but that's what revisions are for. Also when you give information about her life do a little bit here and there, the reader will catch it and add it up all in their heads. I do like how you ended it, it makes the reader want to turn the page and find out what happens next. It is time consuming to write a story where the reader can visualize it, but it is very important because the reader wants to experience the story through their senses. Keep working on it, I am sure you will improve each revision you do. If you need any other specific advice for this first chapter, don't be afraid to ask.

[Duaa]

Thank you so much for your advice means alot to me..and yes she that conversation and the ran off to library.. Mm ur right I'm struggling with details and description.. I start describing but then I feel its getting too lengthy or too boring so I stop.. I'll work on that surely..text language ughh I'm so stupid.. I'll keep in mind every thing you said and will work on it :) thank you

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You're welcome, and everyone has these problems to start out with just takes practice. Writing down the ideas is a great step, you can always come back and put more description here and there, don't worry about it being boring just try your best and see how the people that read it like it. Having readers that write also really do help you improve.

[Duaa]

yea it really does.. :)

[Mila]

Hey! Like I promised, I read your work and I'm just gonna leave a few tips here that I hope you find helpful!
First of all, I liked it, and I think it has GREAT potential. Your ideas and the scope of what you're trying to get at will make it very easy for you to carry forward with your plots.
First suggestion is just basic grammar. First letter of the sentence needs to be capitalized and also there were many places were there were missing periods or commas. These things are important, they keep the cadence of your story going so you can better get your thoughts across. I tend to make a lot of those typos as well in my writing and I'm just now getting to editing those, so it happens to everyone. The best thing to do is, if you have the time at your disposal, I would say to definitely proof read your work and sort of read it to yourself and see how it sounds. It will help also to do because you'll be reading it word-for-word and you can catch mistakes better that way.
Try and add more description of your characters, your settings and what's going on. A lot of it is just your imagination. Like they're having a conversation, so what are they physically doing during while they're talking to one another? Is she tapping her fingers or picking at her hair? Is she sitting or standing? Where exactly are they and why? A lot of these answers come from description. Your writing seemed almost too concise and sometimes its good to take a moment and step back with some descriptive details, if only to paint the picture better for us readers.
I would definitely suggest also a short summary to introduce us to your story. It really only had to be just one or two sentences, I know mine was and it was hard to make one that short.
All in all, it was a good read! I can't wait to read some more of your work and I hope I was helpful with my advice :) Happy writing and well done! :)

[Duaa]

thankyou soo much for your advice n i'll surely keep that in mind for next time..n yea i suck at gramar..thankyou again for such a helpfull review....

[Mila]

Grammar is a tricky subject for everyone and, with time and practice, it'll come to you! Just keep writing :) And of course, anytime!