Pain

Cassie lost something that was dear to her and she is lost in pain of it

A man entered the room, followed by three more.
All four were big beefy and scary looking.
One of them, the first one came near me.. He was tall and fair with brown eyes. His face was marred by a deep scar running from his upper lip to all the way down his chin.. 
He grabbed my hair, forcing me to look at him. Looking into his eyes I felt as if someone had touched the back of my neck with ice.. A shiver ran down my spine.
I was staring into the most cruel eyes I have ever seen. They were bright, and vicious..merely looking at them made me cringe. I felt all hope leaving me. I felt as if this is the end.
"wh-where am I?" I managed to choke out, looking anywhere but in those eyes. 
"Hell!! ". He spat shoving me against the wall. 
I bit my lower lip,not daring to make a sound as pain shot through my left arm.
"M-mother..where is she..?" I asked again ignoring the pain. Fear clawed at my heart but I was clinging to last straw of hope. 
The man laughed.
A cruel.. Lifeless.. Energy sucking laughter.
"oh! Her..she died. Old hag". He said as it was meant to be. As it didn't matter. 
My mind reeled. My mother. My sweet caring mother. Dead? 
Her face loomed before my eyes. I felt dizzy. How is it possible? How can they just take her away? How could he.. I looked at him with such hatred.. How..
"No! " I went hysterical. " no! You killed her you b*****d.
How could you? monster! I was shouting at him,ready to claw his eyes out.
"B***h!" he cut me off with a slap.
"I tell you what"bringing his face near me" you shut up and be a good girl or else..". He whispered, menacingly,grabbing my face..
Aaahh.. I could only whimper.
"Give her something to eat. We don't want her dead.." he turned and smiled at me "yet!. By the way my name is John". He winked at me and turned to leave.
I was left lying there a picture of helplessness and 
Sitting by myself the reality hit me hard.
I was all alone now..there was no one there for me..
I could not help but cry.. Wail for the loss I had endured. I cried as loudly as my sore throat allowed me to. 
I cried and shouted... Trying to claw the pain
I stopped when I ran out of tears when I  could cry no more. I felt really tired  so I rolled up into a ball and fell asleep, dreaming about my mother.

Author's Note

Happy reading and do review.. I'll be looking forward to it

Reviews

[Mila]

This was really good and also very sad. Her poor mom!
Ok, I have listed below what I think can help improve this. I hope the tips are helpful!
You need to make sure you're capitalizing. I saw a lot that at the beginning of sentences its not capitalized. Also, watch your punctuations. You had commas instead of periods and so on so forth.
Try and be more descriptive. Describe how the characters look, their expressions, what they're doing, how they're feeling and so on. These little things are important because they paint the picture for us. I think for you it would be best to go overboard with the descriptions and then work your way from there.
Most of these things can come from thorough proof reading and making sure you know where you want your story to go. Hope I helped, and great read otherwise! :) Well done!
3. I see that you're splitting your sentence with indention. That can confuse the readers. Have it in one consistent phrases with the breaks where they need to be.

[Duaa]

thnak you so much it means so mch to me that you make time to read n reveiw my writes..im so gonna work on my punctuation now...thnkyou again for your guidance