Belle 19: Confessions of a Country Boy

Friday could not role by fast enough. I wanted to get this sketchy run over with. Although, I noticed that Miranda has stopped picking on me. I wonder what happened. Nevermind what happened, I was just happy she finally did. Maybe Brody said something to her. I’ll find out later on.

I waited in my room for a pebble on the window to tell me it’s time. I fell asleep waiting. I was awaken by the pebbles on the window. The second I looked out he signed for me to come down. I went through my house to the back door.

“Hey. Can we take it easy tonight? It’s been awhile,” I stated right away.

“Yeah.”

Mays always sucked for us because we were so out of shape since we couldn’t run in the winter. We were only able to pull off a quarter of a lap around before we sat in the middle of the field. By this time it was just after the colorful sunset but not quite dark yet.

He looked nervous to say whatever he needs to say. I knew it was going to be hard for him to say, because that would mean admitting it to himself. I rested my head on his shoulder to let him know I cared, hoping it was the nudge he needed to start talking.

“Belle, you know how I can tell you anything right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, this is really hard for me to say . . .”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I’m sure you know Miranda dumped me?”

“Yeah.”

“Um . . . well . . . the reason she dumped me was because . . . I wouldn’t  . . .”

“Do it?”

“You heard?”

“Yeah . . . I never told you this but she bullied me like crazy so she kinda made sure I knew.”

“Oh, yeah . . . she kind told me that that’s the only reason she agreed to date me.”

“Oh . . . I’m sorry . . .”

“No, I’m sorry. If I’d have known she was that mean to you, I would’ve told her to back off and forgot about her right there.”

That was a major switch in attitude. Very fast and unexpected.

“Is she the one who really punched you?”

Oh damn. From the look on his face he kind of hinted that he knew already.

“Com’on, Belle, I knew you were lying when it happened.”

“Yeah. It was her.”

“Well, I’m gonna have try harder to protect you.” He paused sounding like he was about to confess something.  “The sex thing never happened,” he suddenly admitted. It was kind of a reliever, but he was also about to make a point, “She tried to make me but I refused because it was lust. I just wanna know why you never told me about her.”

“Because I knew how much you liked her . . .”

“So?”

“I only knew because I liked you the same way you liked her . . . maybe even more . . .”

Oh no. Did I really just admit that? Great. Bye-bye Brody. This is the end of us. Who wants to be around someone you see as a sister that will c**k-block because she likes you?

“What?”

I started crying knowing this was the end, “I’ve liked you since we kissed right here. I didn’t want you to know, because I know you see me as a sister, and I didn’t want to lose my best friend to something stupid  like me falling in love with you-”

“Wait in love?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to see you happy. And sometimes what’s right for someone else can be painful for you, but rewarding with the smile brought to their face. So that’s what I did. It was hell watching you with Miranda, but it wasn’t worth hurting you. I’m just sorry that it did in the end, and I . . . I’m sorry I fell in love.”

I got up and ran back to the house, tears streaming down my cheeks. It was all over. That was the end of our friendship and the last time we’ll ever hang out like that.

I turned off my phone that night and played sad country music all night as I cried.  No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop. I felt like someone had just ripped my heart out and threw it on the ground like fragile china. I couldn’t be mad though. It just didn’t make sense, so I broke that emotion in half and stored it away. The last thing I wanted to do was be mad at Brody for no reason. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t feel the same way or that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because it freaked him out. I just had to deal with the fact that this summer would not be nowhere near as good as last year. In my head I narrated “And that was the last she’d ever hear from him . . .” because I knew it was true . . .