Belle 20: Beyond Me

I walked around the next day like I was a zombie. I had no reason to get up anymore. I didn’t have Brody anymore. I finally realized how much I relied on him. He was the only person who gave me the energy to get up in the morning. I had no motivation to make the day worth living.

When my parents would try to ask me what was wrong, I just went upstairs and took a cat nap. During one of my cat naps, Sonny woke me up by lifting me off the bed like he was kidnapping me. He was the only person who could make me smile a little.

“Wake up! Ah! Wake up-wake up-wake up!” he spun around with me thrown over his shoulder.

“I’m up. I’m up!”

He dropped me on the bed, sitting at my side as I laid there like a blanket.

“Why so sad?” he leaned over me with a fake droopy lip.

“I told Brody. His gal dumped him, so I told him because he asked why I let him date her while she beats on me.”

“And what did he say?”

“I dunno. I ran off before he could say anything,” I covered my face realizing what a mistake that was.

“You know you should’ve stayed.”

“Yes. Why did I leave?!” I covered my face feeling so foolish.

“You were probably scared for his reaction.”

“Yeah, but still,” I really screwed up. I had my chance and I blew it.

“Awe, Belle. I hate to see your little heart broken like this. How about I play that song for ya?”

I nodded.

He used my guitar and played the song for me. All it did was remind me of all of the smiles with Brody growing up. I never knew how much time we really spent together until now when I realized I don’t have any memories without him anymore. Tears worked out. He stopped.

“How about we get you out of here. There’s still that end of school barn hoedown tonight and I need me a date,” he put a finger to his chin fake thinking, “Hmmm, who could I take? I’m thinking someone with red hair,” he winked at me, “Be my date?”

It was a pastel pink, blue-green, yellow, purple flowers faded onto white with Southern Belle off-the-shoulder straps with the ruffles across the top and bottom of the skirt and a blush purple ribbon around the waist.

“Of course!” I hugged him. When I went to grab the dress, he held it out of reach.

“Give me a kiss first?” he pointed at his cheek. I kissed him, “Alright, go get dolled up.”

I threw a dress that flowed against my curves. It was a pastel pink, blue-green, yellow, purple flowers faded onto white with Southern Belle off-the-shoulder straps with the ruffles across the top and bottom of the skirt and a blush purple ribbon around the waist. I pulled up a Macbarbie tutorial on YouTube to help me with my hair and make-up, because I’ve never really done it before. She used the same pink smoky-eye shadow thingy my mom had. I slipped on my white cowgirl boots, and off habit, Brody’s necklace.

By the end I looked and felt beautiful walking downstairs. Sonny was smiling ear to ear. My mom nagged me to put my hair up instead of just the simple braid over my head, but I didn’t want to. Sonny quickly got me out of there.

The hoedown was held at a horse ranch where there was a big enough barn for a stage, a dance floor for the whole town and few tables for sitting and drinking. There were some scruffy men already drinking, my dad being one of them. Couples, teenagers and children were on the dance floor while the band played a bunch of country songs. The only lighting in the whole place was Christmas lights looping around the perimeter of the barn, two spotlights on the band on stage, and candles on the tables.

Sonny took me into the crowd as the town’s favorite line dance song (Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk) came on.  It felt so good to go back to being me. On the last turn we were facing the back. My heart sank . . . Brody . . .

I’d seen his family already, but it didn’t register that that was his family. He came on his own. Why did he? Did he know I was here?

Sonny, suddenly, grabbed my hand and led me in Brody’s direction. What was he doing? He knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to him after last night, but I was unable to pull back; Brody looked so handsome with his white button-up shirt and church pants/jeans. He made me weak.

When he saw me his eyes got really big and a faint smile appeared. A smile? He wasn’t upset?

“Here,” Sonny said pushing me against the wall where Brody was standing, where he leaned on one arm over my head to corner me, “Have fun,” he hinted something. My heart was racing at the pace my feet normally went around this time on a Saturday night. It sweated cold water of fear. My body shook from the chill.

“Thanks Sonny,” Brody waved. What did Sonny just do? Did he just set me up? This whole thing was a set-up so I’ll talk to him? He knew I was thoroughly embarrassed about last night. How could I possibly talk to Brody when being within sight stressed my body weak?

He turned to me with a funny little smile, “Why did you run off like that last night?

“I . . . I dunno . . . I wasn’t sure what you’d say . . .” I looked up at him briefly.

“You didn’t give me a chance,” he almost chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” I looked down a little.

“It’s okay. It kinda gave me a second to calm down from being mind-blown.”

I just looked at him scared to hear what he’d say.

“You know there is a reason I never called you my sister, right?” he suddenly said.

“Huh?”

“You assume I think of you as a sister, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t. I see a beautiful, fun girl that I had no chance with. It was a long shot to go after someone like you.”

I looked behind me thinking there was someone else he was saying that to, “Me?”

“Yes you. Any idiot can get a popular girl. Getting a good girl who’s exactly what you’re looking for in girlfriend and a future wife �" basically the girl of a country boy’s dreams �" is the hardest thing to do, especially when she’s already right there for you.”

I could not believe what I was hearing. I was everything he’s ever wanted? I didn’t understand how.

“Need an example?”

“Yes please,” I was stunned. I got a sudden shortness of breath, feeling faint. This had to be a dream.

“You’re supportive of me, always around when I need ya, funny, a beautiful, delicate Southern Belle with a wild side, amazing with kids, not to mention a filling cook, but mostly my best friend: the person I can’t wait to see at the end of a day; the person with the same free spirit I have. What more could I ask for?”

It was still mind-blowing that I was worth more to him than Miranda was. All this time I was the girl he felt like he could never have.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I honestly wouldn’t have ever taken a second look at Miranda had I known you felt the same way, but I can see why you never said anything, so I can’t blame ya.”

I soaked in what he was saying. What he was saying made sense, but it was a lot for me to grasp.

“Mind-blown?”

“Yeah,” I needed to hear him say it, “So you like me?”

“No. Not even close,” he put a hand on my hip, leaning in so close our foreheads touch, “I love you,” he smiled.

I had only dreamt of this moment, I never thought it’d actually happen, but it was better than I thought it would be. I couldn’t contain a smile, “I love you, too.”

I blinked expecting his lips on mine . . . it was amazing, more so than I remembered it. Especially the part where his tongue made a hinted appearance.

He smiled and looked behind him then back at me, “May I have this dance,” he held out his hand like a gentleman. I took his hand realizing it was my favorite song “It’s Your Love” by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. He led me onto the dance floor and spun me in close to him, his arms held my waist to his body. I put my arms around his neck. He actually looked at me with more passion in his eyes than he did Miranda or any other girl. I was the girl he saw. He was the only guy I saw. Absolutely amazed.

“So, what was that whole thing with Sonny?”

“After he got the call from your folks that you were depressed he called me asking what happened. He wanted to set us up since somebody’s phone was off all night,” he teased.

“Isn’t this better, though?”

“Eh, I guess. Point being I have you now,” he smiled, “Oh and another thing I forgot to tell you is that I got Miranda to stop bullying you.”

“I noticed. How?”

“I know something about her that she doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

“Which is?”

He whispered it in my ear. It made me laugh, “Wow!”

“Accidentally reading someone’s diary has advantages,” he winked.

“Thank you.”

He blackmailed for me. It was still hard to believe he was mine at last. It was worth the long wait and heart-ache. “If you love someone set them free, if they love you they’ll come back.” And he did. It took a lot, but the outcome was better than I ever thought possible. Sometimes thing don’t work out the way you imagined, they’re even better . . .