Foreboding

Foreboding

A Poem by Gee
"

The calm before the storm

"
Barely a breath, the air still, heavy,
weighted with summers heat,
a heat that labours the lungs and wearies,
lethargy not lazy pulsing veins, arteries.

Above, an artist's sky, palette born,
colours all beneath in hues not named,
not known, until smeared with brush and knife,
textured, to be felt with eyes, heart.

Whilst beyond the eye though not the ear,
distant but nearing, a rolling rumble silences all,
heavens voice thunderous,
mighty, foreboding...













© 2023 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Something a wee bit different:)

My Review

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Reviews

Sublime imagery. powerful work. You make it come alive.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Gee,

Your opening two lines are excellent and set the stage - now I am going to pass on advice from critiques I have either paid for or sat through.
The third and fourth lines feel repetitive and could improve the poem if cut.

The idea if a textured sky to be felt with the eyes is excellent, but it gets bogged down a bit with the kind of cliched artist sky a palette.

Finally, the word “whilst” does not match the tone of the rest of the poem. Better to just say While.

And lastly, a poem needs to go somewhere into some kind of discovery or understanding. Something to consider when looking for a close.
Very fine bones but my feeling is your poem could sing with revision.

Winston

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

2 Months Ago

Thank you Winston
I like it! Today it is sunny and the mercury fahrenheit is in the eighties. Tomorrow the high is set to be sixty. A twenty some degree drop in the course of a day. That's our common NC weather. Foreboding gives me the sense of the coming storm, the ravaged edges of purple appendages dangling from great anvils, an eerie green glow beginning to twist and turn in the ether. Foreboding, indeed. I enjoyed the read!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Thanks FGF, appreciate you taking the time to read and comment
FGFRANKLIN

6 Months Ago

I've been near three tornados in my life and that was three too many. Those foreboding skies are tim.. read more
A lovely piece that weathers all the senses. Wonderful my friend.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Gee

6 Months Ago

Glad you enjoyed this Ken as the 2nd stanza was written with you in mind.
Thank you
Ken Simm.

6 Months Ago

That is so appreciated thank you is not enough.
Had to check when this was written and yes, goes back to that kind of weather when rain and storm were melded once or twice too often on our land. The title of your poem is oh so right.. there is a mood hovering when weather talks its own language, sending signals at first vague but near gnawing at the atmosphere

'Barely a breath, the air still, heavy, weighted with summers heat, a heat that labours the lungs and wearies, lethargy not lazy pulsing veins, arteries.'

Your imaginative skills here are second to none, you've made sounds grow from the screen, marvellously so.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Everything stills before something monumental strikes. It's in the very nature of Nature, the calm before the storm. I like the buildup to the conclusion, that ominous, rumbling feeling. Loved the poem.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you Divya.
Hope you are well and issues with our online fraud resolved:)
Your poem is a beautiful and vivid reflection on the power and beauty of nature, and how it can be both awe-inspiring and humbling. Your use of language is both elegant and evocative, and I found myself feeling deeply moved by the emotions you convey. The line "Above, an artist's sky, palette born, / colours all beneath in hues not named" is especially powerful - it's a reminder that even the most seemingly mundane things can be transformed into something beautiful and extraordinary.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you Auza
Hi Gee, great write here, nicely expressed as an artist, I like this, I wasn’t sure you might be artist by nature but you covered all the things that are needed, I adore your beauty, but not that much than my sister-Il, will read your writings, hope you can add me to your friends list.
We never know what comes to mind but it comes that is much needed and what is right for him. Hope everyone is happy with that. I really see your caring heart.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you kindly
I love this Gee, because it is a painting with color and hues and texture and vivid imagination portraying summer heat that pops out at you, the perhaps though foreboding, a crack of thunder which may actually relieve relieve the scorching heat…all in all a beautiful work….
Warmly,
B.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

That you like this as an artist and poet makes me very happy, thank you.
Will pop in for a re.. read more
Betty Hermelee

10 Months Ago

You're very welcome Gee, hope to hear from you soon, Take good care!
Best, B
This is better Gee and yr Work has clearly developed since I have been 'away'. I particularly like 'an artist's sky, palette born...'

Posted 11 Months Ago



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428 Views
15 Reviews
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Added on June 18, 2023
Last Updated on July 24, 2023
Tags: Heat, storm

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life. Simply written, easily understood "stuff" for those without code breaking skills. You will NEVER need Google to understand me:) more..

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