Gaslight

 

 

 

 

 

Gaslight

 

A gas light's hazy beams flicker

Though the thick pea fog of London

Grim shadows on cobbled streets

Moon yet to rise and light my way

 

Feet slippery

 I cling to deserted doorways

As I stretch shaking arms feeling my way 

I take cover from the drizzling sleet

Now chilling my bones

 

I listen and hear an eerie chime in the

distance

Then the sound of a horse and carriage

Plunging through the night as if

Jack the Ripper himself was following in pursuit

 

In my terrified mind I observe in a strangely

Detached manner and conclude that I have

Been plummeted into another dimension

 

I must review the situation forthwith…

Is this a dream and will I waken from this nightmare?

That is a question soon to be revealed ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Helen M. Crutchett All rights reserved

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my words

Helena

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear friend Helena

I thought it high time I returned to review more of your writing.

Thank your for your endless support to me not only when in hospital and since but for faithfully reviewing Split on my behalf.

You know my varied styles of reviewing so I need not repeat them to you.

And so straight to my review.

1) Structure and rhyme: First stanza of four lines; second and third of five; fourth and fifth of three. No explicit rhymes internal or external. It seems not your purpose. This is therefore free style poetry. I have no objection. It flows well.

2) Rhythm: No particular fixed pattern. Although some of the sentences seem longer than others, it is possible to read though them and listen to a certain melodic quality.

3) Punctuation and grammar: You are consistent in using Capital letters at the beginning of each line and not punctuating at all except a little in the last stanza, the only one where you ask a question and use a question mark. I like consistency in style and this works for me.

4) Meaning: You only supply by way of clue to the poem's meaning the title 'Gaslight' and the words on the page. That is what any reader is likely to encounter in any anthology of verse. No complaint on my part.

At times meanings can be obscure or more transparent. With this piece I am not sure whether this is a straight piece of transparency or whether it is a metaphor for some other part of your experience of life. See further below.

5) Impact: Ah now it is here you draw me in.

You take us back to the world of Dickensian London, to that of late nineteenth and early twentieth century writing;

The world of Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes);

To Robert Louis Stevenson (Jekyll and Hyde); and

To your explicit reference to the mysterious history of Jack the Ripper, the serial killer and his exploits in the Whitechapel area of London in 1888.

6) Favourite lines:

First lift and first stanza:

'A gas light's hazy beams flicker
'Though the thick pea fog of London
Grim shadows on cobbled streets
Moon yet to rise and light my way'

The atmosphere is palpable - 'gas light's hazy beams' thick pea soup' 'cobbled streets' All the imagery is visual.


Second lift and third stanza:

'I listen and hear an eerie chime in the
distance
Then the sound of a horse and carriage
Plunging through the night as if
Jack the Ripper himself was following in pursuit'

Now you move onto sound by way of affect and to the sense of lurking danger behind every doorway.

Last lift and fourth and final stanzas:

'In my terrified mind I observe in a strangely
Detached manner and conclude that I have
Been plummeted into another dimension

I must review the situation forthwith…
Is this a dream and will I waken from this nightmare?
That is a question soon to be resolved ...'


Your terror remains but you remain unsure whether what you are witnessing is real, another dimension or a nightmare.

But then I ask myself a further question. Is this a metaphor for some other aspect of your life, or a straight insight into the inability to distinguish between reality and the world of dreams?

I'm not sure. Only you can tell. But the question still rings in my ears.

In terms of nightmares, perhaps your notion here, the worst I find are those where it takes a long time to evade them.

I am terrified by a dream. Then I believe I have woken up thinking it cannot be real and yet the nightmare seems still to be part of reality and true. Eventually after the forth or fifth attempts to actually wake up, I find it is not true and I am back in my own bed either bolt upright in terror or simply relieved.

One of the difficulties we may all face, but I have found particularly so since I have become ill, is that nightmares are capable of colouring my mood for the whole day. They may leave me feeling agitated, brooding, anxious and at worst depressed, as if still unable to shake them off.

7) Overview: A freestyle 'moody' poem depicting well the atmosphere of nineteenth Century London, its sense of historical danger and leaving us with your question (dream / nightmare) and mine (transparent /metaphor).

It's always a delight saying hello to you Helena.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods

Your friend


James

[Helena]

James,

Many thanks for your indepth review of this little paltry poem! It truly doesn't deserve it. I must come clean. It was actually a little poem for a Ten Word contest. Scribbled out in minutes, with the 10 odd words in it! lol

Just posted really for the heck of it, but truly I'd be the first one to say I am not a good poet. I think I might be what you call "naive".

Anyway, wonderful to read your comments and it has kind of spurred me on to revise it an make, if I can something worthwhile out of it.

100/100 for your review my dear friend!

Helen ;)

[Zahra]

superb imagery, very well done. Really loved all that feelings it gives.

[Lily Finch]

nice writing i like it :)

[Helena]

Lily dear, thank you for your kind words.

Helena :)

[Lily Finch]

you are welcome sweet sis :)

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a real cracker,a perfectly written poem I would advise all to read !

[Helena]

Hi Leslie,

Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I'm really glad you liked it.

Helena

[Marie]

Sounds like you certainly were plunged into aother dimension...not of space but of time...

[Helena]

Actually Marie, this was one I wrote for Tovli's Ten Words at one time. I left in all the words and posted as is.

Inspired by a Jack The Ripper movie I had just watched at that point in time.

Helena