The Unpretenders - Chapter 6

Julian stood up and proceeded to fetch the book that Isobel had earlier dropped. He then placed it on the coffee table and returned to his chair. "If you were actually able to read that," he said to her, "you would have many of the answers that you're looking for. But they wouldn't do you any good. In fact, your not being able to read it is actually a good thing. It's just a pity that you've been exposed to so many other such books, in your own language."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because knowledge can never free you, my dear, which is apparently what you want: to escape this whole Earth drama. Knowledge can only ever bind you. Knowledge can only ever place illusory limits upon that which has none. Certainly you can experience knowledge, and its application, but that's all that it is: an experience. Like eating a banana. Even so-called spiritual knowledge often implies that there's something outside of you which is greater than what is inside. And that, of course, is disempowering. It points you in the wrong direction."

Isobel shook her head. "You're wrong," she said, defiantly. "Knowledge is power!"

"Power to do what?" he questioned. "Or to wield over whom?"

"Power, at least, to transcend ignorance," she replied.

"Ignorance is a myth, created by those with power. Or, more accurately, the myth of ignorance creates the illusion of power. Please think very carefully about this statement."

"To say that ignorance is a myth is not only wrong, Julian, it's downright dangerous."

"False knowledge is more dangerous than ignorance. And all knowledge is ultimately false knowledge."

"So how do I escape, if not by flying saucer?"

"You have only to stop pretending."

"There's that word again. Am I pretending right now?"

"You know that you are."

"If I know that I am, then why do I persist?"

"Because to do otherwise would end the game, and give you the freedom that you secretly fear."

"What game are you referring to?"

"The game which requires us to act as separate individuals; to pretend that there's more than one of us here right now."

"You're confusing me."

"That's my job."

"How is confusion a good thing?"

"Because to be sure of something, other than the Truth, is the illusion of knowledge. A trap."

"Okay, okay," I interrupted. "This is all well and good, but what does it actually have to do with the matter at hand?"

"Everything," said Julian. "You see, the point is, nobody has ever escaped the grip of this planet by physically leaving it. They all come back, sooner or later; one way or another. And I have no reason to suspect that you two would be any different."

"I would never come back to this hell-hole," I told him, unequivocally.

"That's what they all say."

"You're admitting that it's possible though? To leave, I mean."

"Yes, it's an option."

"But...?"

"But running away is not the solution; not if you want to be free."

"So what's the other option?"

"To stay, Sophie. To make a stand. To lead by example. To be in the world, but not of it. To help create Shanala, right here, on Earth."

"Is that what you're doing?"

"Everything I do is meant to serve as a signpost. Not a signpost pointing to a physical planet, but a signpost pointing to the Truth that's already here, beyond the illusion, beyond the pretense."

Feeling somewhat bewildered, I sought Isobel's opinion on the matter.

"Hey, it's your decision," she said, "as long as it doesn't involve going back home again."

"Well, I'll need some time to decide. So I guess that means France."

Isobel looked eagerly towards Julian. "We could stay with you, couldn't we?"

"Do your parents know where you are?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, sheepishly. But they didn't, of course. And, furthermore, she must have known that the longer we stayed at Julian's place, the greater the chances were of being caught. But then, maybe she wanted a confrontation. Maybe we both did.

Clearly I had an important decision to make. And my need to mull things over, alone, eventually led me outside, to the predictably vast and well-kept gardens of Julian's estate. Not that I'd even begun to grasp the true scale of it all, from where I was standing, due to the immanent profusion of trees, hedges and natural screens. But the grounds that I could see, at least, certainly extended for some considerable distance, perhaps even encompassing the wooded hills on the horizon. There had also been mention of a sizable lake, which I had yet to see any evidence of. Except, that is, for a lone swan, who happened to cross my path.

As I explored further, I came across what can only be described as an explosion of flowers. Indeed, they immediately conjured images of fireworks, such was their evocative display of size and colour. No passive exhibit of beauty, this, I thought to myself, but rather a noisy and animated celebration of life.

Upon a gentle breeze I found myself enjoying, and then succumbing, to their heady fragrance, which seemed to transport me to an alien world; a world where I played and danced as a carefree child, with no thought of either school or career, parents or bullies; where I was completely safe and content, free of both suffering and the potential for suffering; a world about which I had no knowledge, nor needed any, because everything that I saw and touched was none other than my own self. Yes, it was an alien world, indeed, but not necessarily a far away planet.

Barefoot, now, I ran in ecstasy across the gently sloping lawn, between immaculate beds of floral art. Even the flowers seemed alien to me, in the sense that I couldn't readily identify them - any more than I could have identified the flowers on Shanala Five. And yet I was thrilled at this inability, this ignorance, because it brought me closer to the silent truth of their reality. Flowers, after all, had no names, beyond the labels they'd been ascribed. And the same could be said of human beings. The same could be said of everything! Certainly I had no name, at that moment. No name and no knowledge; just the pure intimacy of experience. Was this what Julian had been pointing to, I wondered.