The Unpretenders - Chapter 25

"Stay calm," said Julian. "Show no reaction, no emotion, no surprise." He almost made it sound as if we were on a safari, being confronted by dangerous, wild animals. And, in a way, we were. Only, that analogy seemed rather unkind to animals, which did at least live in harmony with nature. Whereas there was nothing natural or harmonious about the monstrosity that we were now facing. It actually felt more like a scene from a zombie movie than a safari. I even found myself wondering whether Julian might have a shotgun under his seat. You know, just in case!

Ugly, vacant faces leered in at us through the windows. There must have been at least twenty corpses gathered around the car. Some of them spat on the windscreen. Some of them jeered. Some of them waved fluorescent placards, which read: "Pedo! We know." Apparently it was the slogan of an ongoing campaign to run suspected paedophiles out of town, regardless of whether they had actually committed any crimes or not.

We encountered another horde outside the house itself, by which time I was fuming. "Luke 23:34," said Julian, perhaps sensing my anger.

"It's me you'll have to forgive," I told him.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because if this," I replied. At which point I grabbed his head with both hands and proceeded to kiss him passionately on the lips; something that I'd been wanting to do since primary school.

Needless to say, the crowd were infuriated by this provocative display of forbidden love. Not that I could see them, as I had my eyes closed throughout. I could certainly hear them though. I could hear their foul and abusive language. I could hear their incessant hammering on the roof. And, most worryingly of all, I could hear their attempts to gain entry into the car. It was then that I remembered, with some degree of horror, that my door was actually unlocked. But it was too late.

After being violently torn away from Julian, my tattooed assailant tried to manhandle me out of my seat. A task complicated by the fact that I had kept my seat belt on. "You're hurting me," I said, as he dragged me halfway out of the car, while the other half of me remained strapped into the seat. He continued tugging, however, even as I continued protesting. Then a bigger man intervened and jostled me free. Rather than simply put me down, however, he seemed to feel it necessary to fling me onto the gravel. And it hurt! But I didn't have time to assess my injuries, as the lynch mob had already turned its attention towards my beloved.

The situation appeared to be spiralling out of control, and I suddenly feared for Julian's life. Frantically I looked around for something that could be used as a weapon: a branch, a flowerpot, anything! It was then that I heard a very clear and authoritative "stop" from inside the car. A command that induced such a profound level of stillness and silence that its effects could only be described as surreal. Everyone had actually ceased moving, in fact, and appeared to be frozen in time. There was no breeze any more. The birds had stopped singing. The clouds had stopped moving.

Julian got out of the car and looked towards me. "This has to be a dream, right?" I said.

"No."

"Then we're in the Intronium?"

"No."

"But..."

Julian helped me onto my feet. "I told you earlier, Sophie, there are no limitations to the power of words."

"But, come on, stopping time itself? How is that even possible?"

"I haven't stopped time. There's no such thing as time. All I've done is alter our perception of continuity; that which helps to create the illusion of time."

"But these people..." I said, examining one of them.

"Whilst their experience of time won't have changed, their experience of us most certainly will have."

"Look at this guy's expression. It's almost demonic."

"We should drag them over to their comrades. Instant teleportation, as far as they're concerned. That should give them something to think about."

The rather macabre undertaking took us about half an hour. Julian then seemed eager to set things in motion again. "No, wait!" I said, running into the house. I wanted to see what Isobel looked like in a state of suspended animation. I found her in the kitchen, not surprisingly. She was standing at the sink, washing her hands. The flowing water looked more like ice, of course. But I could still wet my hands by touching it.

A part of me wanted to carry out some scientific experiments. A greater part of me, however, saw the almost endless pranking opportunities that the situation afforded. The first thing I did, not knowing how much time I had left, was to look for a pen, in order to draw a moustache on Isobel's face. When I couldn't find one, however, I realised that it would be even funnier to strip her naked, and observe the expression on her face. Julian didn't approve of that idea, however, and as I began to suggest others, he annoying said the word "resume."

"Oh, hey guys," said Isobel, turning around. "I never heard you coming in. What's so funny?"

"That would take some explaining," I laughed.

"Well, can it wait, Sophie? Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

"Come on," said Julian, ushering me out of the room, "let's leave her in peace." It was then that he noticed some blood on my blouse.

"Yes, my back does hurt a bit," I admitted. "Can you see anything?"

Julian crouched down and examined the area. "Well, you have some scrapes and digs from the gravel, but nothing serious."

He then escorted me into the bathroom, where I allowed him to play doctor. As he took some cotton-wool and antiseptic from the cabinet, I twisted my head around and attempted to see the damage for myself, in the mirrored wall.

"How did the universe know?" I then enquired. "I mean, when you said 'stop', how did it know what you were referring to. And, for that matter, why wasn't I affected?"

"It's not complicated," he said, dabbing my wounds. "The universe doesn't have to work-out what I'm referring to, for the simple reason that I am the universe. Which means that as long as I myself know what I want to accomplish with my words, that's all that really matters - literally! That's all that materializes."

"So if you had said 'stop', without a clear intention in your mind, what would have happened?"

"Not a lot. You can experiment for yourself with this, especially in lucid dreams."

"Yes, I will."

Julian looked at me in the mirror. "Right, all done," he said.

"Thanks," I replied.

Neither of us moved, however, which seemed a little odd. We just continued to stare at each other's reflected image. It was almost as if we had simultaneously remembered that we had unfinished business together; something that couldn't be put off any longer.

Julian stood directly behind me and placed his hands around my waist. "You're trembling," he said.

"I know."

I closed my eyes at this point, hoping that he could sense what I desired of him. The welcome feeling of his breath upon my neck suggested that he could. Confirmation itself came a moment later, in the form of a kiss; an exquisitely delicate kiss, on the side of my neck, followed by another, a little further up. Then I felt his finger as it gently traced the strapping of my training bra; down my right shoulder, across my back, and up the other side.

And then it was over.

By the time I opened my eyes again, Julian had left the room. But the important thing was that he'd finally given me the message that I'd been longing for. And, as far as I was concerned, he could not have stated it more eloquently.