The Ruined Castle

Interesting places can be dangerous at night!

The night is deathly still,

Darkness laps at the castle walls,

Shadows shift across the cobbled yards,

To invest the stark, cold halls.

The candles flicker first,

Dim, then slowly die,

The walls begin to whisper,

As the bats begin to fly.

Deep within the ancient keep,

Something foul begins to stir,

Flexing wicked talons,

Ravening hunger is its spur.

At the bottom of the moat,

Another ancient evil comes awake,

Stretches out its sinuous form,

And searches for a soul to take.

Demons confined to the dungeons,

During the hours governed by Light,

Rage up through the portals,

And storm into the night.

Wraiths flit across the battlements,

Banshees scream around the towers,

By day it is a tourist trap,

But don't be there after hours.

You might not believe,

You might not even care,

But your life may still be the price,

For choosing to be there.

© 2017 The Iron Horseman

Reviews

[Poetic License]

C.H.I.L.L.S......BIG TIME! I love this! Your gift with rhyme and tempo are astonishing. I didn't want it to end! I wanted to peek out from under the covers to catch a glimpse of the demons!!!! (Mind you, only because you remain safe if you are completely covered up). This has my imagination firing and my curiosity peaked to the point of redlining!

To my mind - you're such a tease!!!!!! Your the wizened old storyteller in the corner of some local, dark, smoky pub to whom everyone eventually moves their seats closer and closer and closer (inconspicuously, of course, I mean, who believes in monsters anyway) to hear one more story, about one more tragic death, about that time when the dragon...the serpent....the demon....the vampire.....the monster.......the dead lady of the house...........

Oh yes, you my friend spin an intoxicating tale. Please, more!

Another one for my favorites to be read at Sowen whilst listening to my favorite creepy "Halloween" music.

[The Iron Horseman]

Oh my, PL! Thank you so much for your kind words. Even your reviews are a work of art! I admire your work so much that praise from you is really special. I remembered that you enjoyed Chills and hoped that you would like this, too. I am very pleased that you do,

[Poetic License]

Oh, indeed - now....more!

[The Iron Horseman]

I am working on a Western novel right now, so the poetry is kind of on the back burner, but sometimes something demands to be written in the middle of the night, so who knows? :)

[Poetic License]

Stomps her foot and pouts in an epic red-headed temper tantrum. According to my handy-dandy calendar, sometime is tomorrow!!!! ;-)

[The Iron Horseman]

lol. I can just picture it! My mother was a redhead, I know the tantrums well! Not to worry, I am working on another funny one.

[Jade]

OH WOW!!! This is so good, I love the imagery in this piece, So good and gave me goose bumps.

[The Iron Horseman]

Thank you, Brandie Jade, I am glad you liked it. I actually live in the woods, and they can be scary at night!

[LazerRays]

Nice words used in this! I approve! Thanks so much for entering in my contest!

[The Iron Horseman]

Thank you, Sarah. And entering your contest is entirely my pleasure.

[Jacob Clifford]

Excellent imagery evoked immediately with the desolate descriptions. Very good rhyming and good tempo. From start to finish, this is a powerful write.

[The Iron Horseman]

Thank you, Clifford.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Aaaagh! Beware the Jabberwock! Gothically great with a bite. Loved this!

[The Iron Horseman]

Thank you again, Annette.

[Stacy Purvis]

Daaannnggg...I'm visualizing a cold, hard-looking castle, almost King Athurish but darker. Fabulous imagery! Truly amazing.
Thank you for sharing!

[The Iron Horseman]

Funnily enough, Anastasia, it was inspired by Tintagel Castle, which is one of the places that claim to be Arthur's Camelot. Thank you for your kind words.

[Stacy Purvis]

:) You are most welcome!

[Paul Bell]

One good thing about castles. Someone got murdered at some point. Plus, castles are always cold, stirs the imagination.

[The Iron Horseman]

Yes, I have probably visited half the castles in Britain and they never fail to grab me!

[Norman 223]

Simply stated, this conveys an effective Poe-etic impression of imagination taking over in a ruined building.

[The Iron Horseman]

Nice pun! Thank you. It was actually inspired by a visit to Lostwithiel Castle at sunset that got quite creepy as the shadows moved in!