Sugar'd-Up Grits

I ate breakfast with a guy from Rochester NY, yesterday and he asked for sugar for his grits.

"Y'all ready to order?"  She said with a little sideways grin

and a little sass.

She looked down at me with her notepad and pen at the ready.

"Just the country breakfast," an easy enough order.

"How you want your eggs?"

"Over easy."

"That's runny yoke,"

"Yes, mam."

"You want grits and toast?"

"That'd be great."

"Have it out in a minute, what about you?' she said to my friend without looking at him.  

He wasn't from around here,

everybody knew it. The New York Yankees hat gave him away. 

"I'll um...I'll...hmm...I'll have the same thing." 

She glanced at him with a condescending smile,

"with grits and toast?"

'Sure, that...sounds good."

She gave a chuckle as she wrote down his order.

"Back in a minute with some fresh coffee."

She was a little bit older than the other girls 

and her shorts weren't quite as short,

but she'd learned to get tips with attitude

and country boys love sassy waitresses,

and she knew it.

She refilled our coffee then stood back 

with one hand on her hip, coffee pot in the other.

All her weight was on one foot 

making her hip jut out just enough

"Anything else I can get you boys?"

"No thank you, were good," I said, 

and she moved around through her other tables,

filling coffee and laughing at a stupid joke from a truck driver

and another from Judge Taylor,

he comes every Saturday Morning.

She can't stand him, but he tips well, so she laughs even better.

A minute later she was back with our breakfast.

I watched Kyle, my friend stare at his grits then look at mine.

She saw him too.

"Something wrong honey?"

"Oh, no. Everything is fine. Do you have any sugar 

or maybe some honey?"

You could feel the room get quiet.

"You mean for your coffee?"

"No for my grits."

Up to now everything had been okay. 

Aside from the Brooklyn accent 

and the Yankees hat he was an alright guy, 

but any cred he had gained with good manners was now gone.

"You sure about that honey, Sugar?" She said with a laugh. 

I looked at my friend and gave him a side-to-side head shake.

He just looked at me blankly.

"I'll get it for you but if you put sugar on them grits,

I'm going to pour 'em in your lap."

"They're fine just like they are," he said.

"Glad to hear it Honey.  Holler if you need anything." 

It was a statement, not a question 

and she went back to here rounds.

I mixed my eggs in my grits and ate

and Kyle did the same.

We talked about religion, football and the election,

had our coffee refilled one more time,

then we paid.

At the counter, the waitress asked if our meal was good.

"Everything was great." I lied, 

the grits were a little runny.

Reviews

[Gaia Octavia]

First off, I LOVE GRITS. I may be from New England but I have family in NC so I know how to eat grits, bbq, collards, hush puppies, biscuits, and lima beans correctly (don't even try to order grits up here they're always terrible). I even get billy's sauce brought up with some NC bbq when my mom travels through on her way up here. I'm lucky I don't live there because I'd be in TROUBLE. Everything is way too delicious. But I digress, I enjoyed your piece a lot. I like the way you fleshed out your waitress character while not giving her a name. I can't ever remember my waitresses names. No disrespect, I'm just terrible with names and faces, so it lent authenticity to me. Great job!

[James]

Gross, I hate lima beans. I'm glad you enjoyed this, it was fun and I'm glad you liked my waitress.

[Gaia Octavia]

I did indeed ☺

[Jacob Clifford]

I live so far up north I'm basically Canadian. I've never even seen grits, nor do I have any idea what they are. I hear the word all too often, though. I enjoyed the read, all the same. It bothers me how stuck up people are about their traditions. Not just Southerners, but people in general. If someone does something out of the norm, that person gets teased and laughed at. It's all good fun, I suppose.

The waitress character really made this story. She completed the atmosphere and made everything come to life. Very enjoyable.

[James]

Culture is all about tradition, where would we be without it. I haven't traveled "up north" much, but the few times I have I try to eat the way the locals do. It's the same wherever I go. As a historian, I am fascinated with the little traditions that make people different. Most of the teasing is all in good fun, part of local pride, kind of like how people on Philly think their cheese steak is the best.
I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[barleygirl]

Even tho your story is about grits, I'm afraid your waitress stole the show completely. I appreciate the dig that you embedded for those who don't do the southern thang correctly, but your lively dialogue & spot-on descriptions painted an unforgettable character profile of a familiar waitress in any hometown café, not just a southern one. Very enjoyable read!

[James]

I'm glad you liked it. I wanted her to be the most memorable part, so it makes me very happy that she had that impact on you.

[Lydia Shutter]

Shades of "Flo" from "Alice's Restaurant". They don't make waitresses like that anymore. It was another time, another culture....and lots of it was great. No one dared to talk back to those waitresses and a good tip was always left...even if not earned. Those were the days. Oh, and sugar on grits? He was REALLY a Yankee! What a wonderful story you told. I could picture it all perfectly. Lydi**

[James]

Thanks, it's a simi-true story. I was eating breakfast with a friend the other day and he asked for some honey for his grits. I gave him hell for it.

[WithinTheHeart]

I was smiling through out this entire piece.
You had the southern charm and feel down precisely:)
I felt as though...I was sitting at the local diner, taking in the conversation right next to me.

Well done.

[James]

I figured a southern girl would appreciate it. Thank you.

[Ana Papaya]

Lol. What a great story. You're a great story teller James.
Poor guy. I can sympathize. I don't even know what grits are.

[James]

Well, I grew up in Georgia and Alabama and we take our grits serious. This was a somewhat true story, he ate them without sugar. When you get some grits, just add salt, pepper, butter and you are allowed a little bit of cheese, but not too much. And absolutely no instant grits, or you can never come down south.

And, thank you so much for such a wonderful compliment. You know how much I enjoy your writing.

[Ana Papaya]

I'll keep that in mind if I ever order some grits. :)