Bewilderment

Bewilderment

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze
"

just lost..

"




Time is slipping on the sundial,

taking my life away.

Neither, do I want it to stop,

nor, do I want it to sway.

Let me get down to earth,

maybe, I will live again.

Or let my soul drift free,

passing onto another land...

© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

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Reviews

I have just spelling and grammar corrections for you as I liked the poem!
Title: Bewilderment
Line 1 "on" the sundial
Line 3 Neither, "do" I
Line 4 Nor,.......want "it"
Line 6 Maybe,




Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your kind help.
Maybe, it is better now?
Perkele.7885

5 Years Ago

I would still put a comma after neither and nor.
Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Cool. How about now?

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Added on November 7, 2015
Last Updated on December 14, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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