If I AM ROMEO

Romeo and Juliet

 

IF I AM ROMEO

If I am Romeo, searching that

  Darkling love of her

Formed her path that ignited my light

She was where I blinded and shivered

  She wore the path that lost my sight

Opened-road courage quivered

 Not, in the poem of William Shakespeare

Opened my eyes, spare

Not, from the look of things

While Lucky Dube’s song gave me, glance

From where I saw her, countenance

Stood face bold amid all spear that threw

And broken not the mirror of her strew

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From once I met her, derived me joy

 Genuinely clapped sound opened my coy

Laughed-out-loud amid all what they said

She stood firmed.

 

Caught across the mirror that looked

My heart coughs across a breath of love that choked

 Me, and sneezed me out white pelf

A smell of love and life

When I attempted not to lust after her

Looking and searching for her after her

Desert not the heart void of love

Cupid in the shelves of forgotten gone

In the ecstasy where I dreamt, wet in dreamt

Formed the sweat, where pillow cushioned me dried out wet

Underneath, separated shadow from light of her countenance

From where there was no unison, they refused me, hence

From the abhorrence of heart-penury strife

Defined the wretched look of life

Filled my emptiness

From the riches of things

 

 That bonds us together, with same penchant

Ring she wore on my left hand

I swore to take her by my name; to the altar of my heart,

Even if, they refused

She is my Juliet.

Reviews

[Confuser]

It is a beautiful writing. Oh, the expression of young love...something you seem to do so honestly and the flow is excellent, I cannot with love writing. You expressed feelings quite well. I enjoyed it. I love, alter of my heart, quite lovely; and Cupid in the shelf of forgotten gone...many more lines excellent to quote. Thank you so much and keep writing.

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

I must confess, I so much appreciated your review. Thanks a lot.

[Confuser]

You are quite welcome sir. Dale

[AprilRN1210]

this is nice and romantic.. some of the phrasing in this one is done beautifully... I like the flow and rhythm.. did stumble in a few places, but overall quite lovely..

an example of one place I stumbled..

"Desert not the Heart void of love
Cupid in the shelve of forgotten gone"... would either say "shelf" or "shelves" here.. (just my opinion)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

Thank you so much. I appreciated your review. Thanks.

[Geo Lawrence]

contemporary Shakespeare...bravo

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

Thank you so much, my brother.

[Helena]

I think Shakespeare has come back! Truly! This was phenomenal my friend. Absolutely loved it. Pen on poet.....~ Helena ~ :)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

Hahahaha! Thank you so much for your kind review.

[Helena]

You are most welcome Sir!

[An owl on the moon]

The beautiful passion and transformation of the fated lovers rises so powerfully in your words... you capture that sense of profound desire so tenderly... Oh, how that one can truly fill any emptiness.

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

Thank you so much for the review. I'm delighted.

[A. Amos]

I just enjoyed the read and felt your passion for Shakespeare work...

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

O! Shakespeare's work is a majoy inspiration behind this poem. Thank you so much for your review.

[A. Amos]

you're most welcome my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this...but then i am partial to the play...and the two last pics...from my favorite version..

i am not that keen on pictures with poems, like to let the poems create their own pictures...

but you have much interesting phrasing in this piece...and there is depth to the soul of it.

emily dickinson drives a lot of readers crazy with her random captilization ....maybe there is purpose, maybe not...but some do it.

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

Thank you so much for the review. Sometime I capitalized randomly for emphasis. As you said imagery is finely created with words not pics. I delibratly did it for an indepth image and the source of the poem's inspiration. Thanks a lot.