Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Part Two

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"Into the nothing, faded and weary.

I won't leave and let you fall behind.

Live for the dying. Heaven hear me.

I know we can make it out alive"

-Into The Nothing, Breaking Benjamin

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After much careful preparation, the dreaded day has arrived for the hunters to depart. For an entire week the tension in camp has been building. Every day that passed was a day closer to the time where every wife and child would once again have to know the pain of loss, even if it was only temporary. For some, it would be permanent.

All seven hunters are lined up at the gates, each one with his own sled and team of dogs. They wait for the signal to leave and begin the hunt, but first, they must say goodbye to their families. It may be their last opportunity to ever see them again, after all.

“Stay quiet and sit still.” Ben whispers to me when no one is looking. I nod to let him know I understand, even though he can’t see me.

I’m kneeling inside of Ben’s sled. It’s made of hand-carved wood and still smells like the trees that it came from. The scent of pine is concentrated because I’m in an enclosed space, cloaked by a fur blanket. All of the supplies that the sled carries, including me, are kept in place by ropes tied tightly over the blanket that covers them. It’s dark, stuffy, and uncomfortable, but at least a sliver of light comes in from the top where Ben cut a hole for me to peek through.

This was his best idea for hiding me and sneaking me out of the wall. I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it at first, but Ben was right about keeping my little promotion to huntress a secret. He wasn’t joking when he said that the hunters would riot. The roles of men and women in our society are very strict, and it’s bad enough already that I’m allowed to be a guard. There are certain lines that weren’t meant to ever be crossed. And I’m about to cross them all.

I can see through my little peephole that the crowd is trickling in reluctantly. They are stalling, perhaps wanting to make this moment last a little bit longer before they have to say goodbye. I know that it may be selfish, but I wish they would hurry up so that we can go already. I’m growing impatient.

Out of our seven hunters, four are married. Five have children. This means that the semi-circle of people pressing in on us is quite large. I try to move as little as possible while I strain to catch a glimpse of some of them.

Maurice’s sled is directly next to Ben’s. I watch him hold his newborn baby, Jake, in one of his sturdy arms, while the other is wrapped around Laura, his wife. The two whisper softly to each other, too low for me to hear, and share a gentle kiss.

On the other side of us, Chris is kneeling in the snow, hugging his ten-year-old son Ian, who cries bitterly and pleads for him to stay home. Chris’s face is blank, and paler than usual. He forces himself to ignore his son’s desperate demands and simply tells Ian that it’s all going to be ok.

The last hunter that I can see clearly from where I am is Neal, Timmy’s dad. His older son Dustin, also a hunter, ruffles his little brother’s hair. Neal’s wife holds a toddler by the hand. The little girl pulls against her mother’s grip to kiss her father on the cheek when he kneels beside her.

I’m not sure what I’m feeling when I realize that I don’t like watching any of them. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, and I’m forced to turn away. It takes me a moment to notice that it’s jealousy. Maurice, Chris, Neal, Dustin… all of them have something in common. They have solid relationships with their loved ones. They have bonds that cannot be broken.

I have no such bonds. Perhaps at one time I did, with my mother, but since she’s been torn away from me I have no way to fill the empty space in my heart. At the thought of my father I can’t summon up any emotions, even if I try. It doesn’t matter if I care about him or not either, because I won’t get the chance to say goodbye to him.

These hunters are risking their lives in order to feed their families, to keep them alive. I’m risking my life to go out in search of the one person that completed it.

But I forget that I’m not the only one without a family to live for.

I peek up at Ben and notice that he seems to be uncomfortable, standing by himself at his sled with no one to talk to. He is the only one that doesn’t have someone clinging to him, someone telling him that they love him and want him to be safe. It never dawned on me until now how much I relate to him.

Why does Ben want to go on the hunt? What are his motives? I find myself wishing I could pick his brain. I doubt he’d ever answer those questions if I asked.

“Open the gates.” I hear my father say when he’s decided that enough time has gone by. For once, I wish I could see his face one last time, but that’s impossible in my position.

I hear the pulley system used to operate the gates come to life, the massive doors creaking, unused to being opened. I feel the energy of Ben’s dog team as they eagerly pull against their restraints and jump vertically into the air, ready to run.

 I’m not sure who’s excitement is greater- theirs, or mine. What dangers wait for me beyond the camp walls? I want to face them all. I’m ready.

Ben and the other hunters give the command for the dogs to go, and we take off at an incredible speed, the dogs barely containing themselves. I shudder when we pass the wall, as if I’ve just gone through a portal into another world. I get one last look at the hopeful yet sorrowful faces of the ones we left behind before they disappear in the distance.

Five men died in the last two hunting trips, leaving three women widowed. How many more widows will we have when we return?

None. I think to myself, trying to be positive. We’ll be successful. We can pull this off.

The sweet taste of rebellion, adrenaline, and danger overcomes me when the idea of what I just did sinks in. I can’t believe that I’m actually here. I can’t believe that I’ve left the only place I’ve ever known. I’m in a whole new universe. I’m out of my element from here on out.

The sled violently rattles beneath me, the ride much rougher than I had anticipated. I feel every bump, every rock. Although I’ve never guided a team of sled dogs before, I know that it isn’t an easy job to do. Being the actual cargo, as it turns out, is no small feat either.

I need to steady myself, and I grab onto the first thing I see. It’s Ben’s backpack. The fabric is old, torn, and full of holes. But it serves its purpose. In our village we don’t really have many things that come from our ancestors, but Ben brought this with him when we met him. It’s strange to touch something that isn’t leather, fur or wood. This material is scratchier, and has a rough texture. The weight of it keeps me rooted in place.

All I brought with me was a knife and my bow and arrows. I feel my arrows now, rattling in their quiver that I keep strapped to me. One of them slides out and hits me on the head before clattering to the bottom of the sled.

We hit another bump. A big one this time. My chin hits something and I end up biting my tongue. The painful ride has only just begun, and already I’m injuring myself. I hold on tighter to the backpack, and think about something else.

My mind wanders to another time when I once felt the same mix of excitement and uncertainty as I do now. The bittersweet memory is as fresh in my mind as if it had happened yesterday, even though it was years ago. It was another day that had changed my life, just like this one.

I close my eyes and envision it, reliving the events…

“I don’t like this…” Thomas, an old man in his sixties with a bald head, wrinkly skin, and a turkey neck frowned at my father. We were all gathered around the campfire, and Thomas stood closest to us while the rest of the crowd hung back, “She’s a woman! I’ve lived a long time Adam, and never have I seen a guard that was a woman!”

My parents stood on either side of me. They both looked at the man that stood before them, each with a different expression. Father looked slightly worried, his gray eyes flickering between Thomas and my mother. Mother’s blue gaze was sharp, and seemed to look right through Thomas.

I was looking down at the snow, unsure of what to say or do. My arms were limp at my sides, and I let my hair cover my face. I had never been the center of attention for a meeting before. It made me uneasy.

“And who exactly invented that rule, Thomas?” Mother snapped, “I know that in the past, several generations ago, we adopted a certain lifestyle in order to survive. But things change. We need all of the help we can get. Lilith is a woman but that doesn’t mean she’s any less capable of guarding the gates. Besides, she’s handy with a bow and arrow. I’ve seen it.”

This was unsettling news to the watching crowd. Everyone looked at me in shock, as if I’d grown two heads or something. In a sense, they probably would have been happier with me actually doing that than hearing this disturbing revelation.

I suddenly felt a little nervous, but I wasn’t afraid. I held my head up high instead. Attempting to copy my mother’s icy glare, famous for silencing anyone who opposed her, I faced them all as courageously as I could. A nearby woman named Ana clutched her small child to her and turned her away, as if looking at me could turn her to stone.

“She knows how to use weapons?” Thomas’s jaw fell open, “Are you insane? Who would teach her such a thing?!”

Mother didn’t hesitate for a second, “I would.”

The confession left the crowd in a small state of panic. Murmuring broke out amongst the circle. Their shifty eyes didn’t know if they should rest on me or my mother. Both of us had just put ourselves in a dangerous position as women.

“Kaya!” Thomas said in a scolding tone, but his voice was less angry now and more pleading. He had watched my mother grow up before me. She was like a daughter to him, and his tone was fatherly, “You of all people should know, as the keeper of records, that things have always been a certain way. We want to keep Lilith safe. She’s a valuable asset to us. Just like you. That’s what we men are here for. We’re here to protect you. If the women are to be there with us when the danger happens, we’d have nothing left at home to fight for!”

I was almost inclined to agree with Thomas, my resolve faltering a little bit. Perhaps he had a point. Why change things when they don’t need to be changed? I could stay here. I could live a simple life. I could let someone else take care of everything…

“You’re wrong Thomas.” I was about to call the whole thing off when Mother’s voice brought me back to reason, “There was once a time where women were free to do as they wished. A time before us. While I respect your wishes to protect us, I think it’s wiser to teach us to protect ourselves. Besides, Lilith won’t be in any actual danger. Guarding the gates doesn’t require her to go past the wall.”

“Who cares what things were like before?” Thomas’s face looked like a wrinkly tomato now, “Look at where we are! Clearly the old way of doing things didn’t work out so well!” He turned to the rest of the crowd, shaking his liver-spotted fist, “Do you see this? This is what happens when you teach a woman how to read! Suddenly she wants everything!”

It was common knowledge that before I was born, my father had taught my mother how to read and write even though it isn’t the norm. It was because of her that there even was a keeper of records, because she saw the importance of learning the past and not repeating mistakes. She had fought long and hard for the knowledge that she received, and now Thomas had directly insulted everything that she stood for.

Mother pursed her lips. She looked as if she was going to attack Thomas, but she had enough self-restraint to not harm the man she once viewed as a father-figure, “The old world didn’t crumble because of women. It fell because of greed and ignorance!” She growled, “But I’m wasting my time with this argument. This meeting is over. Lilith will be a guard, and she will start tomorrow. That’sfinal.”

Father cleared his throat, “Sorry Thomas.”

I felt embarrassed but elated at the same time. What a privilege it was to be a guard! For so long I had secretly hoped to become one, never believing that it would be possible. And now here I was, finally living my dream. But I knew that not everyone would back me up. As I looked out into the crowd, most of them wouldn’t look me in the eye. Some of them looked offended.

“Of course you’re not going to stop them, are you?” Thomas mumbled as he turned away, “They’re your family…”

Either my parents didn’t hear him or they pretended not to, because I didn’t hear a response. Theystood there like statues, grave-faced. I wanted to do something to help, to make people feel better, so I just said the first thing that came to my mind, “I’ll keep you all safe. I promise.”

A few people nodded in my direction, but it was clear to see they had little faith. The only thing keeping them from speaking out like Thomas was their respect for Kaya Bane. As the three of us made our way back to our tents to break up the meeting, everyone parted and gave us more than enough room to pass. I felt like I had a plague, like I was in quarantine.

In that moment I knew that no matter what I did, from that day onward, I would always have something to prove. And I also knew that I was willing to accept that challenge…

The memory ends when suddenly I get flung sharply to the side of the sled. I bump my head on its floor and hear a crack as the wood splinters. My brain is rattling in my head. Ben’s heavy backpack rolls in my direction and slams into my gut, pinning me down.

Outside, I hear the team of dogs whining. They sound panicked, but no voice calls out to them to give them commands. They make a sharp turn and I get thrown to the other side of the sled now, but I don’t have enough time to recover before I’m slammed into something else. I get tossed again and again until I don’t even know which way is up anymore. We seem to be moving in an uncontrolled zigzag. I begin to panic.

Where is Ben?!

I don’t think he’s on the sled anymore. Everything feels lighter now without his added weight. The dogs are running so fast that I feel myself lifting off the ground a few times, and I get whipped around in a serpentine pattern. Before I can make sense of it, I hear a sound in the distance that sends an icy shiver down my spine.

It’s a menacing roar, like something I’ve never heard before. It shakes the ground and rattles my bones. I hear the panicked voices that belong to the other hunters shouting, “A spear! Someone get a spear!”

I hear another roar and the sound of more splintering wood somewhere near me. A dog yips in the distance, but the sound suddenly gets cut off after a loud crunch.

The hunters are being attacked.

And I’m on a runaway sled.

I need to get out of here. Reaching into my pocket, I slide out my hunting knife and blindly slash at the fur blanket that is covering me. It rips open, no longer able to hold me inside the sled. I find myself airborne before smashing into a tree. The impact winds me. I hold onto my ribs painfully while I try to make sense of the scene before me, fighting the dizziness that makes my head swim.

I got separated from the others, but I can see them not too far off in the distance. Clearing the spots in my vision, I slowly rise to my feet and stagger forward as I attempt to decipher what I see.

In my life, I don’t think I’ve ever been frozen with absolute fear before. This is the first time that it happens to me, right here, when I see the massive white animal that looms over the hunters. Its wicked claws slash through the air, taking aim at a sled. The entire thing is smashed in one blow, shattering to pieces against a boulder.

I’ve only ever seen this thing before in our history records. I remember the detailed sketch on the page that I once had to study when I was learning how to read. Its name is Experiment 372. We call it the Ice Beast.

The gigantic, furry animal is exactly how I had imagined it to be. The body is heavyset, reaching its widest point at the back, with a stubby bob tail. The paws are wide with sharp claws used to impale, and the ears are small and round. On its face is something similar to a dog muzzle only thicker, and the hind legs are slightly longer than the front legs. The eyes are red. They’re always red. Like the color of blood.

From a distance, it might seem like something harmless, if you can’t see the claws and the soulless eyes. But the Ice Beast is known as the most aggressive monster of them all, notorious for attacking humans without warning or provocation. We either stumbled across its den or it stalked us here.

I don’t know what to do.

I see the shine of Dustin’s knife in his hand from a distance, although he makes no move to attack the Ice Beast at such close range. The sled that had been holding all of the spears lays upside down, buried in the snow, with everything scattered all around it. I can see him making his way slowly towards it, never taking his eyes off of the beast. Maurice makes it there first and grabs one with shaking hands.

He charges at the creature, and the Ice Beast begins to back up before rising onto its hind legs, towering over the hunter. It swings at the spear with so much force that it gets driven into the ground, cracking in half. Maurice can’t stop his momentum and he tumbles to his knees, falling right in front of the blood-thirsty creature.

But before the Ice Beast can bear down on him, an arrow pierces its shoulder. It roars with rage and turns to Chris, who had shot it with his poor archery skills to get its attention. The beast charges at Chris now on all fours at an alarming speed, sparing Maurice, but the other hunters now have spears. They rush to their comrade’s aid, forming a perimeter of sharp weapons around the animal.

I still can’t find Ben. Where is Ben?!

My eyes scan the wreckage until I see a familiar form lying limply against a sled. Ben is unconscious. Or dead.

My body finally breaks free of its frozen spell and I rush to his side, turning him over and putting my ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat. I hear a weak thump-thump, thump-thump, and know he’s alive. He must have hit his head when he fell, but at least he’s fine. For now.

All of the dogs are either cowering or snapping at each other in their fear, tangled up in their harnesses and unable to do anything other than work themselves into a frenzy. A few of them lay lifeless, victims of the Ice Beast.

The hunters attempt to push the Ice Beast to the edge of a shallow cliff, forcing it back with the sharp points of their spears, but the animal is too intelligent to let itself plummet to its death. With a surprise charge, it breaks through the line of hunters, trampling those who can’t roll out of the way fast enough, and makes a beeline for the next closest living thing it can find.

Me.

I can’t just run or it will take Ben instead. My trembling hands reach for my bow and I load an arrow into it, trying to hold it as steady as possible, but I feel like gelatin.

According to the records, it’s nearly impossible to kill an Ice Beast. They move too fast, and their bloodlust is so strong that they tend to overpower you before you even know they’re there. But this is the only thing I know how to do, and if I can’t save myself, then at least I’m taking it down with me…

I try to focus on the charging animal. Time seems to slow down when I control my breathing, but my heart still wants to rip out of my chest. I don’t even think when I release the arrow, going on instinct, and hit the Ice Beast in the eye.

It doesn’t stop charging. I don’t expect it to. But it does hesitate for a moment to scream in pain. Lowering its head, its one good eye meets mine with a hatred that I didn’t think was possible in an animal, and it barrels towards me again.

I don’t have time to load another arrow.

I feel the beast’s hot breath in my face. It opens its jaws, revealing a frightening set of bloody teeth, but my life doesn’t even have time to flash before my eyes when suddenly the animal collapses onto the ground. A puddle of dark blood forms beneath it and its one eye goes dull, the spark of life leaving its body to turn cold and hard.

Standing over the beast, I see Maurice holding a spear that he had jammed into the monster’s back, snapping its spine. I feel light-headed and take a step backward, realizing how close I had just come to my demise in only the first hour of me leaving home.

My legs can’t hold me up anymore and I fall to my knees, shaking, while the chaos around me slowly dissolves. Everyone is running to the sleds, to the dogs, to Ben, assessing the situation. Everyone except for Maurice, who just stands there, his dark eyes focused on me.

I don’t know why but I start laughing hysterically and look up at him, cracking a smile, “Woah… so this is what hunters do, huh?”

But Maurice just frowns at me, nostrils flaring, before he yanks his bloody spear from the Ice Beast’s cold body. The sucking sound makes me feel slightly nauseous.

I don’t know why he’s behaving so strangely until I remember who I am and how I got here.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He says harshly. It’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard Maurice say. Ever.

The other hunters begin to murmur, shooting glances at me, while I just sit there, not sure how to reply. “I-I… um.” I stutter, “Surprise?”

Author's Note

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