Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

There’s no sense in me hiding inside of Ben’s sled now that everyone knows that I’m here. As we get ready to leave again, I stand in front of Ben, my hands firmly on the handle of his sled. I don’t have my own, so I’ll be sharing with him.

Since I’ve never ridden on a sled before (and my previous experience this morning doesn’t count), Ben stands behind me to make sure that I won’t fall off. It’s not really about me getting hurt- Ben has confidence in the fact that I can handle a few tumbles. It’s more about saving time. The hunters don’t have enough time to stop for me every time I lose my balance, and as a beginner, that’s bound to happen frequently, or so they say.

As much as I look forward to not having to be the cargo this time, it feels strange to be so close to another person. In my lifetime, I’ve never had much physical contact with others, including my own parents. We just weren’t a touchy family. It’s a stark contrast to what I’m doing now, and I’m trying to decide how I feel about it. I can feel Ben’s muscular chest against my back as he leans forward to grab the handhold, putting his hands on the outside of where mine are. He surrounds me, and I’m forced to stand very still. I’m even afraid to breathe, as if somehow that will make it worse, but I find myself fighting for oxygen for some reason when I feel his warm breath stir a strand of hair by my ear.

I focus on the dogs in front of me now and try to pretend like he’s not there. I must have my mental faculties intact. But it’s hard to control my thoughts when he’s so warm, and even out here in the freezing temperature it’s making me sweat.

Focus.

We lost three dogs today, so we may not be able to move as fast as we were moving earlier. Ben and I have a full team of eight dogs pulling our sled, but I notice that Nathaniel only has six, and Randall has seven. That’s not going to affect us in a huge way, but I suspect that we’ll be losing many more dogs before this trip is over. It always happens.

I just hope that we return home with the same number of hunters.

Everyone is ready except for Randall. He takes a little bit longer to reach his sled, and walks with a slight limp. It’s a telltale sign of frostbite in his toes, although I can tell that he’s trying hard to hide it. After sitting by the fire for a little while he’s no longer so pale. However it’s easy to see the toll that this whole experience has had on him.

I wonder how useful he’s going to be to us now that he can’t walk as well as he used to. I’ve made it abundantly clear that I wouldn’t care if he died, but the village needs all of the hunters it can get. Ben’s decision to leave Randall out there in the cold for so long might not have been the wisest one.

Once Randall is in position, Ben gives the signal to take off and once again we’re moving. This time, the ride is much more thrilling for me than it was before. I feel the butterflies in my stomach when we accelerate and let the biting wind whip my hair around behind me. The terrain zooms by us so rapidly that I don’t even know how Ben can tell where he’s going.

I’m amazed at how beautiful it is out here. There are distant mountains on the horizon that reach towards the sky with their lofty peaks, and frozen lakes that bubble with life just underneath the surface. We pass by snowy meadows and steep cliffs, every sight more stunning to me than the last. It makes me wonder what I’ve been missing out on all of this time, being cooped up behind the village walls. Who would have thought that the world was this big and exciting? It feels like being born again. I know nothing. I am so small.

The sled makes a sharp turn, catching me off guard. I feel myself slipping off the sled when Ben’s hand quickly meets my waist, steadying me. I learn fast that I can’t focus so much on my surroundings, as much as I would love to. I need to concentrate on hanging on or else I’m going to fall off.

I don’t know how long we travel, but the sun seems to set much too soon, ending our first day. Most of the time the sky is thick with gray clouds, but lately the sun has been shining more than usual, and it gets in my eyes as it begins to sink below the horizon. I have to squint when it shines in my face, but the glimpses we get of it are so rare that I don’t mind. The sky is pink when our sled slows to a stop and the dogs collapse into the snow, exhausted.

We begin to break for camp.

In no time, a fire is made, the dogs are released from their harnesses, and the tents are put up for the night. I realize with dismay that I don’t have a tent of my own. I should have thought this through better when I was packing my things before leaving. I think through my options as I hold a piece of leftover Ice Beast over the fire, feeling hungry again after the long journey.

Ben, Dustin, and Nathaniel don’t join us by the fire. They leave us to scout the perimeters of our camp to make sure that it’s safe. I stay behind with Maurice, Chris and Neal and we eat together. Randall makes it pretty clear that he wants nothing to do with me by going inside of his tent to spend the rest of the day alone. If it’s meant to sting me, it has the opposite effect.

It’s perfectly fine with me. I don’t want to stare at his sour face anyway.

I stare across the flames and take in the three hunters before me, coming to the conclusion that I really need to make myself more likable to these people. After all, the only thing that saved me earlier was my allegiance to Ben. There’s nothing stopping any of them from turning on me again the moment they get the chance. Befriending them can mean the difference between life and death.

I know just the person to start with, and once again I look to Maurice, wondering if he is going to ignore me again like he did the last time I silently tried to get his attention. I raise my eyebrows at him and tilt my head a little bit as if to ask: Are you still mad at me?

I know he can see me looking at him but he refuses to look up, and stares blankly at his hands, which lie limply on his lap. I, however, refuse to back down and stare at him for a longer time than what is considered socially acceptable. Eventually he is forced to give in and, with a sigh, meets my eyes with his.

“I’m sorry.” I say, as soon as I have his attention. It’s all I can think of to say. Chris and Neal sit up straight now, focused on me, and I turn to them as well, “I’m sorry that I snuck out, and I’m sorry that I got Randall in trouble.” The last part is a lie. I’m actually pretty pleased that I got Randall in trouble, but I figure it would help my case to apologize for it out loud.

“Randall always gets in trouble anyway. He doesn’t exactly like Ben.” Maurice shrugs, letting me know with those words that he’s accepted my apology, “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Why are you here?” Now that the ice has been broken, Chris sits forward eagerly and asks the question that everyone has on their mind, “Why did Ben say you’re here under his authorization?”

The answer to that question is complicated. I can’t tell them that I’m here to find my mother. They’ll think that I’m crazy, more so than they already do. I decide to tell them the other half of the truth instead, “We were in need of more hunters. I figured I could help.”

Neal snorts condescendingly from his corner. His eyes are too close together on his head, and they stare at me impishly through the flames, “How can you help? All you’ve managed to do is give Randall frostbite. The Ice Beast probably attacked us because of you too. You’re bad luck.”

“Now, Neal, Randall overreacted and was punished for his own actions, not Lilith’s.” Maurice rushes to my defense. It feels good to know that he’s on my side again, “She also helped us take down the Ice Beast by slowing it down and distracting it long enough for me to kill it.” He turns to me with a surprised expression, “It seems as if you actually do know how to use that bow and arrow.”

Neal just shakes his head, groaning in protest.

“Your mother taught you, right? When you became a guard? I remember that day.” Chris rubs his chin, probably thinking back to his own memories from that day, “She was a great woman, but it was times like those where it was hard to agree with her.”

“No doubt she did a lot for the village, organizing it and keeping it together. But she should have stayed in her place. All she ever did was walk all over Adam.” Neal mutters.

Although Neal echoes my exact sentiments with regards to my father, I don’t appreciate hearing him talk about my mother that way. It’s hard to fight the anger that tries to claw its way out of me. Be likable Lilith. Win them over. I tell myself this, and I hold my tongue, turning to my food and finishing it as calmly as I can.

Maurice shoots a glare at Neal before turning to me again, “I’ll admit that this is very unconventional. When I first found out that you were here I didn’t know what to think.” He admits, almost looking ashamed of himself, “I let myself get carried away by Randall’s insisting that you needed to be punished. Now that I’ve had time to think it over, I think that what you’re doing isn’t a crime. It’s an act of courage. Welcome to the team, Lilith.”

I nearly start to cry when I hear those words from Maurice. My mother always spoke to me that way, but I have never heard similar words coming from anyone else. A wave of emotions hits me, so strong that I nearly fall over. And it feels… good. Not bad. Is this what they call praise? Is this happiness?

Chris is a man of few words, but he nods in agreement with what Maurice says, also welcoming me to their circle. Neal on the other hand chews his meat quietly, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. I can sense that there are a lot of things that he wants to say but he’s holding back, perhaps remembering what happened to Randall.

“I… I’m glad to be here.” My voice shakes and I’m at a loss for words when I turn to Maurice and Chris again, smiling genuinely at them.

“Well…” Neal interrupts, getting to his feet, “while you ladies discuss your feelings I’m going to bed.” He waves goodbye to us half-heartedly before disappearing into his tent.

“I’m… tired too… actually.” Chris pauses in his sentence to yawn a couple of times, and I find myself actually chuckling, finding him to be funny.

“Let’s all head to bed then.” Maurice nods and the two of them rise to their feet, turning to me, “You coming too?”

I’m glad that I was able to make some allies, but I can’t go with them. Firstly, because I don’t have a tent. But also because there’s something else that I need to do right now. Alone.

“Nah you guys go on ahead. I need some time to digest first.” I tell them, and let them leave.

Once they’re gone, I turn my attention to the forest. We’ve set up camp at its edge, so I don’t have to walk far as I wander off into the trees. The darkness is hard to navigate through, and I stumble a few times, holding onto tree branches and roots to keep myself from falling. I’ve never been out in the woods so late before. Part of me knows that I should be afraid, but the other part of me could care less, and I push onward.

I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly, but I have to try searching for some sort of sign that my mother was here. I wrack my brain and try to think about what sort of sign she’d leave me. Would she leave behind a piece of cloth? Or maybe a drawing? I can’t see anything in the blackness of the night. It probably wasn’t such a great idea to search for this now in the dark.

I hear a twig snap somewhere near me and freeze, my blood turning to ice. What was that sound? It’s just a squirrel or something, I tell myself. I’m getting panicked unnecessarily. It must just be the stress of everything I’ve been through lately. My nerves are on edge.

I continue my search when I hear something again. My heart hammers in my chest. Easy Lilith. There’s nothing to be afraid of, right?

And yet I find myself slowly reaching for my knife.

Suddenly, something springs at me from behind. A hand covers my mouth while another one grabs me by the wrist, rendering my knife useless because I can’t move my arm. I try to scream but the sound of my voice is muffled.

“Hey relax! It’s just me…”

“God d****t Ben!” I hiss when he lets go of me, and whip around to face him. All I can see is his silhouette, dark and imposing, his outline illuminated by the silver moonlight, “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“I know. It was hilarious.” He snickers before becoming serious again, “Why are you out here alone?”

“I was just…” Just what? Looking for ominous signs in a deadly forest at night? “I don’t know. I don’t have a place to go.” I shrug, pointing out the fact that I don’t have a tent.

“U-huh…” Ben narrows his eyes at me. I’m pretty sure he can see right through my bluff. “Well what were you planning on doing out here then? Befriending the forest animals and hoping that you’d find a house with seven dwarves to sleep in?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask him with confusion, irritated and not understanding.

“Ugh… never mind. It’s just a story my mother used to tell me.”

“Your mother must have been a strange woman.”

“Funny, that’s what a lot of people say about yours.” He flashes me a grin and holds his hand out to me, “Come on, let’s get back to camp. I don’t want something to happen to you out here.”

I look at his hand and frown, “But I told you, I don’t have anywhere to spend the night anyway.”

“Sleep in my tent, moron.” He says it as if it’s so obvious, rolling his eyes.

I’m suddenly glad that it’s night time so that he can’t see the sudden flush of red on my cheeks, “Um,excuse me?”

Ben seems to realize what that sounded like and he puts his hands up in surrender, “Whoa relax. I packed extra blankets that’s all, and I can share. You can sleep as far away from me as you want.”

I sigh, “I don’t really have a choice, don’t I?”

“Not unless you’ve happened to meet some friendly dwarves, no.”

“Fine.” I take his hand and let him lead me back to camp. It’s true that I am exhausted. I decide to postpone my mission until tomorrow morning, but I still can’t help looking back just one more time as I walk away.

That’s when it catches my eye. I wouldn’t have seen it at all if the moonlight hadn’t been shining on it at that exact moment. There, sketched into the trunk of a tree are two letters.

K.B.

Author's Note

Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy, but leave a comment, please don't be lazy! :)