What Have I Become

What Have I Become

A Poem by LivingDeath
"

I wrote this straight from the heart, no fake emotions.

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of What Have I Become.



What have I become 
but the one to break my heart,
I climb so high
just to fall apart.

You'd think I'd know by now
to stop allowing pain,
but when I'm my only friend
then what is there to gain?

My heart is wrapped in barbs 
pressed against my  soul,
so every time it beats
shatters a new and deeper hole.  

I've hurt myself before
to see if I was dead,
but life poured out of me
that thick and golden red.

I write these songs of sadness
so I can cry at night,
I try to withstand the pain
but it's always a constant fight.

What have I become 
but the one to break my heart,
I climb so high
just to fall apart.

© 2010 LivingDeath




Reviews

I'm completely in LOVE with this poem. Again, I find it so easy to relate to. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


sadly beautiful

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow...
This is so powerful...
It makes me want to cry, because... I can relate...

"What have I become
but the one to break my heart,
I always climb so high
just to fall apart."

I love that stanza...
It kinda speaks to me..

You did such a great job on this, thank you for sharing.

~A Fallen Heroine~

Posted 12 Years Ago


oh, my. its great. POWERFUL AND STRONG

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wow.
Really enjoyed reading this piece. It came across very honest and genuine...
The rhyme or flow did not seem forced at all and I just find this to be one of my favorites from you.
Good job.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


This poem flows almost perfectly, the words just pouring off the page. I like it and I can relate to it, good job.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


i only see one little nitpick thing. in the last line of the 3rd stanza, it says "shatters a new and deeper hole." I read it with an "it" in front of 'shatters'. it just sounded better to me :o . Anyway. I love your writing . you are an amazing and talented writer. I get how you feel. The imagery is great in this piece.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


this was beaultiful, wonderfuly sad. well done

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


very good job

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very powerful. I used to feel like this, but I just thought 'F**k it, i'm gonna enjoy myself before I f**k up and die." and to an extent it works in blocking out any pain.

Well done on writing this, must have been a bit of a test to write it.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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222 Views
22 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on April 30, 2010
Last Updated on April 30, 2010

Author

LivingDeath
LivingDeath

Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada



About
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." ~Kurt Cobain. Wasssup guys! I am me, if you want my name, ask me for it. Life in every breath, is my motto. 22 years old, living .. more..

Writing
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