Primal

Primal

A Poem by Loribeth215

 

it hovers

in my chest, moves and rattles

with every breath

this warmth behind my eyes

an electricity that radiates across my spine

my lips want to form the words

they know how

it's only the mind that fears

I know the truth, the primal knowledge

down in my marrow where words do not exist

how frail when compared to the emotion

to need you... love you...want you.

© 2008 Loribeth215


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interesting... emotion overpowering primal nature.. throwing the whole natural order out of sync. Yet true, we are a species of communication but everyone knows when a teenager boy gets around a beautiful girl the "uhh..aahh...ummm" shutdown of all brain cells begins, lol. Though obvious in your words the feelings expressed for this person is deeper than any words could ever do it justice. Very nice again, brava!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think this is a poem manny people can relate to. When people are in love, they may have a hard time expressing themselves. I also like the use of metaphors.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Wow so deep and just so relatable. It reminds me sooo much of like Edward and Bella's relationship in Twilight...haha i'm reading it right now so yea. This can be applied in so many situations, this has really touched me thank you for writing it and requesting it! :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


I love emotional connection with this piece I can feel from reading it. I feel the words as if they were whisper that linger in the corner of a room that bared witness to the unfolding of a story of love. I think the depth in which I understand this moment is perfect and truly a treat to uncover in the levels that my mind's eye views the deeper story here.

This reminded me of one of my pieces if you get a chance would love for you to check out.
I Tried

Great Job!!!!!!

Posted 16 Years Ago


It is funny, in a not funny way, how my eyes want to tear up at reading this. It speaks well of the fact, that although we have the general knowledge of what love is - we have all of our definitions, all our thoughts, passed on through so many generations... that the sheer emotion of it is so beyond anything we could describe. Well done...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

".... to need you... love you... want you." you have no idea how much i relate to this. GREAT! I love this. very nice.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

interesting... emotion overpowering primal nature.. throwing the whole natural order out of sync. Yet true, we are a species of communication but everyone knows when a teenager boy gets around a beautiful girl the "uhh..aahh...ummm" shutdown of all brain cells begins, lol. Though obvious in your words the feelings expressed for this person is deeper than any words could ever do it justice. Very nice again, brava!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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6 Reviews
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Added on September 5, 2008

Author

Loribeth215
Loribeth215

CA



About
I write poetry and stories, but you'll see more of the former than the later, as I am trying to sell several stories to online publishers. You can see many of my stories on the following websites: .. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Loribeth215



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