Success

Mom hid the prize in the high cupboard

She thought it was so safe

But she doesn't know

How tall a stool can make me

So I'm climbing on the counter

A little dog that wanted to get into the bag

So I wag my tail when I close in

A little swing of the door and I see it

It's the box with a smiling cartoon animal

The gift-wrapped present with packing peanuts inside

As I dig through with such glee

To find my reward

The cereal is for later

I hold my reward in chubby fingers

Success!

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

I agree with Kublakhan all sorts of metaphorical meaning can be attached to this one, and will be--because its there--but I love this for its good memories of childhood. Oh if life were a cereal box with a prize inside or maybe it is. Splendid write.

[Luke L]

I am trying to write poetry that makes people feel things, but also deals with specific situations, I think that is better than when I try to write things that deal with concepts in a general sense

[Pryde Foltz]

Well, like the title suggest---Success. It really is a subtle, yet deep and beautiful write.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

A fun poem that shows the joy of a child. Something as simple as reaching for something and such a feeling of greatness when it's in your hands. I really like this, enjoyed.

[CRZ]

I kept thinking of how poet reaches the point to phrase something to express what you're thinking inside that membrane ha. I want cereal now

[Prritiy]

a cute poem, which i loved through and through.

best wishes

[annie lee]

This is a lovely, simple, uncomplicated childhood memory, until we realize what a stunning metaphor it is for other parts of life. The wording is terrific because it evokes that little boy's dawning smile and sparkling eyes. The picture you have painted is worthy of Norman Rockwell. Well done.

[Luke L]

thank you so much, Annie :)

[CriticalxxAngel]

I really liked the way it brings you back old memories of how everything was always so simple. How those things that were so important at that time seem so foolish now. Great job!

[Luke L]

thank you very much :)

[kublakhan27]

An amusing and fun little piece of childhood innocence, or of adult nostalgia, though I suppose one could attach other metaphors to it if one wished to do so haha Nicely done :)

[Luke L]

haha yes poets like to attach other metaphors and read between the lines, generally I like to keep my stuff literal, though I certainly use metaphor within, thanks for the review man. What I've been trying to work on is writing poetry that makes people feel something right now, I hope that is the case...

[kublakhan27]

Very true my friend haha You're definitely succeeding, no need to worry there...always a pleasure :)

[Luke L]

thanks brother