Attempted Suicide

I had just moved to Salt Spring Island

At the age of eleven

I had no real friends

I was so lonely

As I looked on the window

On the school bus

As I rode home

I was a fat little kid

I had breasts that would jiggle

As the school bus rolled along

It made me feel so insecure

I wanted to die

I felt like the other children could see

How gross it was

So when I went home

I told my mother in tears

That I was going to kill myself

Because I was a loser

I was so hurt

I laid on my bed

Grabbed my neck with both hands

And choked myself

I didn't realize it was physically impossible

To kill yourself that way

God I felt like some a piece of garbage

Eventually I gave it up

And hugged it out and cried as I talked to my mom

Who my family talks s**t about

But she's always done right by me

She's always been there when I needed her

Reviews

[bobc]

L...hold onto that vision of things in your family. The piece reminded me how things felt so catastrophic when I was young...the smallest things. For some reason, I was also reminded how I'm like the character, who's spent years in the asylum, concludes an explanation of that time with 'But I'm much better now.' and makes me smile. Thanx...boc

[AmandaN]

This poem makes me feel for your "little boy self" kids indeed can be awful and it is a cut throat world out there for the under 18's! I'm glad your mum was there for you :-)

[Riding the Rainbow]

really personal and real piece..
Kids are mean and I'm glad you had your mom next to you..

[MsJewel]

There is nothing like the love of a mother and her child. Yes, this is a painful write about childhood, but the love you and your mother share is what you will remember most in years to come. Your poem is honest and brave. I applaud you.

:) Julie

[SyberRose]

Kids can be cruel...and so nice your mom was there when you needed her and was an
understanding mother...Rose

[Pryde Foltz]

A very personal and brave write. I am struck by the way you must have felt on that bus ride home. It breaks my heart. Our worth is so much more than our physical appearance but it seems something very difficult to get across to children and some adults I guess. By sharing this story, you share with someone who is feeling the same way right now. Bravo.

[Luke L]

thank you very much, Pryde :)

[Baby Ricochet]

This is more about your mom than an attempted suicide and that's okay. Good poem luke. Keep writing buddy

[Luke L]

ya perhaps, I thought it was a memory of mine that would make an interesting piece of writing, so I wrote on it. Thanks for the review man