Place My Foot On The Pedal

The frosty wind whistles around me

As the white percipitation floats

To the ground in slow motion

The greyish orange street lights

Illuminate the outdoors

Behind me the fluorescent lit backdrop

The air smells fresh despite

The gasoline that puddles the street

Fresher than my apartment

But not a new car smell

The cold wind chills me

Feels like the flesh is not on my bones

They are bare, a naked skeleton

The backlit sign of the liquor store across the street

Lets me know it's open nine a.m. to eleven p.m. daily

Seems a little early

Shrieks of frustrated crackheads

Echo far in the distance

Backed by the beat of faint sirens

The street is empty for now

Save a few lonely burger joint wrappers

And 7-11 boxes

Hurrying on their way

Racing the wind

I wheel my bike from my apartment building

Fling my leg over and with all my weight

On one side to get it moving

I start my journey to work

At 3:40 A.M.

Place my foot on the pedal

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I like how realistic this is and the descriptions for imagery especially this part:
"The cold wind chills me
Feels like the flesh is not on my bones
They are bare, a naked skeleton"

If you want to correct, 2 words:
Lets me know
"Let's me no it's open nine a.m. to eleven p.m. daily"

[Luke L]

thank you very much for the review, and I will correct that :)

[zephyr]

Really fantastic write ...

[rutherford]

Great sensory appeal. Strong title and final line frames the poem--the beginning of the smallest task and the cityscape that surrounds that small act. Enjoyed this one.

[David Trounce]

This got me in and it ended to soon. What happened to the crack heads? Could you smell the burgers? Was anyone in the liquor store? Was there a sunrise just around the corner?

You ended this at just the right time, Luke. Now we are left with our imaginations, which is exactly what good writing should leave us with.

Its the strangest thing. The review thing here (which I only just discovered - sorry to everyone I have neglected so far) won't let me go past 80/100. How odd. I give it 90%.

[Pryde Foltz]

Really wonderful work, Luke. A few observations, quite funny and poignant.

[Morgan Storms]

that's early! Really great description going on un your poem, Luke. Crack heads reminds me of Down town Los Angeles. oddly enough its becoming nicer. But I totally get the crack heads echoing in the background. :)

[Sapphire Naylor]

I love how you take a basic routine that people do every day and put it to life, adding detail and focusing on everything but the actual routine itself. Well done :)

[Bri]

very descriptive of your morning to work. I like what you've written. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Some great imagery here. Good one Luke

[kublakhan27]

A wonderful contrast between idyllic imagery and brutal realism with each one feeding off the other...awesome :)