invisible touch

invisible touch

A Poem by de_maruf
"

written a long ago

"
your trembling lip 
affect my soul and 
it also start trembling 
when it get your lips warm 
through my finger tips

i get about to cry 
presence of your silky hairy head 
on my chest for looking peace 
wish to believe as a happiest man


and when i get your heart theft hand 
in my hand and i felt you 
in my arm
i just say subconsciously_

someone i touch 
i lost myself 
someone i touch 
i lost my world 
someone i touch 
i lost everything 
but get someone in my heart...

© 2012 de_maruf


Author's Note

de_maruf
invisible touch:(

My Review

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Reviews

I like your message here, it's tragically romantic. Naturally it stirs something within the reader. But I have to comment on your first stanza, maybe you meant lip rather than leap? and warm rather than worm?

I can only infer the message from what you have written. It's clear yet I guess you can rephrase it more, just a touch of grammar here but overall well done

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very nice. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


ohhhhhhh so sweet yet so sad!!
i loved the layout of the poem and the feelings portrayed are real good!
thanxx for sharing

Posted 11 Years Ago


awwwwww so very beautifuly sad feelings in here :'( made me tear up! great poem, and a very good structure :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


To think in the local and translate that into English sometimes causes something to be lost and sometimes adds to it. Sigh! Sometimes it does both.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is hauntingly beautiful. I'm not sure whether English is not your first language, or whether you have a very unique syntax and style here, but whatever you're doing, keep doing it! Beautiful effect here.

Posted 11 Years Ago


you have a way of opening your heart and letting your emotions ring out loud and clear, that's a wonderful quality in a poet

Posted 11 Years Ago


but oh, so visible on the soul and heart of a man in love...nicely done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


No, no, no... sorry. This one doesn't work (for me). It's the grammar - it's horrible. Almost like a v.001.001 lyric generator gone haywire. You've done much better than this. Take a break. Work on your English grammar and give it another go. Other than that, it's great! :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


hmm...the grammer could be an issue...but in this instance i think it adds to things, just my opinion of course

Posted 11 Years Ago



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24 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 22, 2012
Last Updated on December 29, 2012

Author

de_maruf
de_maruf

dhaka, south, Bangladesh



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i want to cut my life as my desired time and want to make my time eventful and........................................................................................................................... more..

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