Love And Lust

They are so in love. Loving and lusting with one another in the sheets. Forever

Me and you

Laying in bed

Our bodies

Naked and touching

There's a burning sensation

Of love and lust

As we play

In the sheets

Author's Note

Just something... Feelings of love and lust makes me go crazy

Reviews

[Simpleasures]

I love simple poems....they say so much while saying so little. This piece took me to a wonderful place. Thanks for sharing.

[rachielle]

You've managed to squeeze a lot of imagery in 8 lines, and that's a very hard thing to do. In this poem, you made the minds of the readers wander about. Good job.

[Pax Analog]

Two things immediately come to my mind w/this poem. First, there is a charming tone, redolent of haiku delicacy. Second, love and lust could be brought out of the realm of abstraction, showing specific feelings and sensations re love and lust.

I usually write a particular prose and song blend, but occasionally I write personal poems: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Paxxx5/511135/ is a subtle erotic-romantic brood of mine. You might find it useful.

Again, your simple haiku-ish tone is good. I just recommend showing more sensations, feelings, impressions, specific to a given love-desire.

[Tina Kline]

Very nice. Has quite the impact.

[Emily]

Grammar: you lay something down, you lie in place, so second line should be "Lying in bed."

That said, this is a good piece. You've done a good job of keeping this clean but getting that burning feeling on paper.

another nice piece!

[Havatara]

I liked it. It was short and yet you could get so much out. Great job.

[Star Wolf]

I really like this, it gets right to the point quick. Your feelings and emotions come through strongly.

[black.butterfly]

This was simple yet cute in a way. i can sense your feelings.

[Soul Magic✯]

wow alittle pleasure from each side... this is beautifully written. stay hot

[ashley]

Mmmm... very well written. I love this! :D