Spitting blood

I was spitting blood
In reality and dream alike
Through the bitter winds of winter
And when flowers opened their buds

Likewise was I empty-handed
When I entered the world unclothed
And I left it barefooted
Caught up in endless fight

What then was all this for?
On reflection I do not know
My place is not reserved
For those who heed a higher law

I never fathered a nation
Nor was I a bringer of peace
I never gave over life and love
To be an instrument of some greater hand

Glory to me was a fashion I could wear
Never did I hide on saying so
In death there were no songs to let me go
No grand gathering of mourners

Deep within life's unsolved mystery
Each of you still lives within my heart
I know I won’t remain in your minds

Reviews

[guy drori]

Nice ending. I actually expected it to end pretty badly...as in sad and depressing. Great job. I also liked how you made your line breaks and separated stanzas.

[Jennie Baron]

How soon are those who pass on forgotten, their memory fading each day, but yes, perhaps the heart does live on to remember.

[Briana O'Connor]

This is an amazing declaration of where you find yourself. I too relate much better to my dog :D Well penned

[TL Boehm]

there is a certain sadness to this piece. Spitting blood for those who will not remember us - sometimes we are compelled to do it anyway. Peace.

[Victorious]

Dear Mark D.,

Style and Rhythm: The poem is in free verse so there is no particular rhythm, but the style is dark and describes a detailed moment in life.

Spelling and grammar: Nothing wrong with the spelling or grammar here.

Content: The idea of spitting blood makes me think of a wounded person, someone's who has been like hit in the stomach, or in pain, like the reality of pain I suppose. The reason I think this is because of the next stanza which makes me think naivety, of not knowing that such a thing would be so wounding. As I try and soak in this interpretation, the next stanza throws me off because I'm not understanding what you mean by a higher law. It seems like the poem has adopted a universal tone when you say "I never fathered a nation..." Then, maybe, I'll go with Little Whisper, and perhaps it is a mysterious stranger, or maybe a shadow, an invisible person.

Interesting write.

Sincerely Victorious

God bless

[That_Girl]

Expressed beautifully. Exquisite, Mark.

[jo]

this was a deep meanful poem i like how the words just flow can't wait to read more

[layla]

everything you write seems so effortless...Your amazing, truly.