Unclosed Wounds

All those strange faces staring at him as he walked the school corridors for the first time. The sound of the beats of his heart was almost louder than all the chattering going on. He hardly dared to look back at anyone, the sweat running through his body felt colder every second. Everyone’s eyes were on him, he could almost hear their whispers saying bad things about him, calling him names, judging him as people usually did. He was sure the smiles they hide behind their hands as they whispered to each other, were because they thought he was weird and strange.

He walked inside the classroom and took the last seat on the back. The room fills little by little and this time Robert seems to go unnoticed. The teacher enters the room and as he checks the students list, he notices there is someone new in class.

“Robert Tyler Graham?”. He says loud as he looks at the students, making Robert raise his hand. “There you are, come over here please Mr. Graham”. He asks him.

He sighs deeply before getting up from his chair, his knees feel like shaking as he makes his way to the front almost tripping over. Everything on his body seems to escape his control.

Opening his eyes, he seats up on his bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Is the exact same nightmare Robert has every night before going to a new school. His agitated breathing made his chest move faster as if he had been running for hours. Turning on his lamp he stands up from bed and walk to the window, looking back at his alarm clock he realizes is 1:35AM. Outside everything was silence, the moon was shining so beautifully it illuminated the houses perfectly. Crickets were chirping and dogs could be heard barking in the distance. Robert lowered his head as he rested his right hand on the window.

The intern fight he had with his own self was getting crueler every time and seemed to be relentlessly. He knew he had turned into his worst enemy. The conflicts between who he was and who he wanted to become seemed to be driving him mad. He was strong and smart, but facing people’s opinions about him had come to be his biggest fear. His first day of school was just a few hours away. He returned to bed and pulled the covers over his face, closing his eyes, his mind took him to his first day in Infant school back in England, when he was five years old.

 His mother playfully woke him up with her sweet voice.

“Robert wake up honey is your first day of school”.

Followed by his mother’s voice, little Robert opened his eyes and after rub them with his hands, quickly kicks his covers away and jumps out of bed. He felt so excited about finally going to school, about meeting other kids, making new friends and learning new things. He couldn’t wait to get there, and his mother was chasing him around his room as he desperately gathered his stuff. Taking off his pajamas and getting in his new pants his mother had bought him for school. The smile on his face looked like his lips could not stretch more. His little heart beat faster from all the excitement he felt. Never for one second did he felt the tiniest bit of nervousness. After he is dressed, he runs downstairs to the kitchen where his father is eating his breakfast before leaving to his work in the bank. As he sees little Robert coming downstairs with such a huge smile on his face, he can’t do anything else but smile at him too. Robert jumps to his father’s lap hugging him by the neck.

“So you are excited about school?”. His father asks him, even he needs no answer.

“Yes, I’m going to meet a lot of kids there”. Little Robert replies with a voice that reflects the excitement of a child who is about to get something he had been wanting for so long.

“I’m sure you are going to make lots of friends”. His father tells him as Robert nods at him.

“Okay you handsome boys smile for the camera”. Caroline interrupts them as she has the camera on her hands. She takes a picture of them and then set the camera on self- timer mode, this time to take a picture of the three.

His father stands up from the table and goes to wash his hands and brush his teeth, telling Robert he must be ready in five minutes as he is dropping him at school on his way to work.  He waves to his mother from the car as they start to wander away from home. His father turns on the radio as he drives, and Robert is entertained looking out the window and imagining how his new school looks like, how the kids are like, the teachers, the classroom. He had seen schools before in television, but this was the first time he was actually going to be inside one. He slightly pattered the seat with his hands; he just couldn’t wait any more.

Finally his father pulls out the car in front of the school building. He can see lots of kids holding their parents hands as the walk inside the building, some of them look happy but some of them are crying or angry even. Looking back from the front seat, his father tells him to take off his seat belt and get out of the car. Robert was confused; he thought his father would walk him to the entrance of the building just as the other parents were. He stared at his father for a few seconds before he asked him to get out of the car for the second time.

“I’m going to be late for work Robert come on already!”. He told him as his voice started to sound louder.

Suddenly, all of the excitement he felt seemed to vanish. He slowly took his seat belt off and grabbed his backpack. As he barely steeped out of the car and turn to see his father, he just waved at him before driving away. He now felt alone among all those kids who were happily with their parents, he felt different, but not good different. Why didn’t his father or mother cared about him the way other parents seemed to care for their kids?. He started to slowly walk towards the main entrance, trying for other kids not to notice he was the only one without his parents by his side. This was the first time in his life he felt like if he had been left on his own at a strange world.

“Hello honey, where are your parents?”. A teacher asked him as he entered the building. But little Robert looked up at her speechless. “They must have dropped you off, that’s all right come on in”. She told him. He continues his way to his classroom, as he enters he takes a seat and other kids are smiling at him asking him his name and telling him theirs, but he doesn’t seem to hear them. He is just assimilating the new feeling of being on his own at a strange place.

Sun rays entering through the window making Robert pull up his blankets to cover his face and turn the other way. He opens his eyes and realizes he was so lost on his memories the night before that he had fallen asleep thinking about it. It was 7:00 am already.

“Oh bugger!”. He shouted jumping out of bed.

He remembered classes started at eight sharp and he did not wanted to be late and get noticed even more by everyone. After taking a quick shower he changes his clothes to black jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark grey blazer with his black converse shoes. Then he went down to the kitchen for a light breakfast. His parents and his sister were there but he simply grabbed fruit and bread from the table and just sat without saying a word.

“So good morning there”. His father greeted him as he looked at him.

“Morning”. Robert answered without looking back at him.

“Today I’m going to drive you to school, but your car will hopefully get here in time before I leave to the base on Monday”. His father told him. He had bought Robert a car in England, and they were waiting for it to arrive as it was being brought by ship.

“Sure dad”. Robert answered as he got up and put his plate on the sink.

His father just looked at him as he walked out of the kitchen, but he didn’t dare to say anything else. He knew the way Robert felt about him for not being there for him most of his life, and James knew it was late to change things.

He drove him to the college and on their way there none of them said a word for the first ten minutes, then James decided to break the silence and try to have a conversation with his son.

“Once your car gets here you will be able to drive around the city, explore and see new places”.

“I don’t know the city dad; I’m going to get lost easily”. He answered discouraged and without interest.

“Well I’m sure you will make friends soon and then they can show you the city”. His father innocently said without realizing he had just touched a wound that had not yet closed in Robert’s life.

Robert looked away from his father and tried to look outside the window instead as he put his hand together on a fist, that feel of anger trying to control him was there again. He sighed deeply.

“I want to get off here dad”. He suddenly said, making his father pull over to the side.

“But why Robert? we’re almost there”. He answered him confused.

“I just want to walk, I need to walk a little, and it’s only three blocks away”. He said as he started to take off his seat belt.

“All right is that’s what you want”.

Robert said a short, “Thanks”, to his father before steeping out of the car and walk away.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know your opinions. I know this chapter probably have grammar errors, If you want to let me know it's ok, but leave a review about the chapter too. This is my favorite chapter of this book so far. -Thanks

Reviews

[Neon]

Yeah! Awesomely penned chapter. Here in this chapter, "Robert" is just totally lost into his memories because he's missing his family, his old memories, his first day of/to the school ... and as far as he comes to become older or younger and comes out from his childhood and now he's in college and he's feeling the same so lonely as same as he'd felt in his childhood right on the first day to his school now, on the first day to his college/new college... Here, he doesn't have any friend so, he's much nervous taking the college's first day ...

....this chapter's again well penned as same as earlier ones. In this chapter i've seen...i've felt something deep because this chapter's just connected with "MEMORIES WHICH ARE UN-CLOSED WOUNDS INTO THE DEPTH OF HIS HEART!" Because when he needs his family, he feels, he stands alone and when he needs to be alone, he's surrounded by too many folks. So, such kinda things're happening to "Robert" ... and you know what, by jotting this chapter, you really reminded me my childhood indeed and make me get lost into my old past, into my old memories when I was a child and I'd much friends but as I grew-up old friends gone, new friends come and the life runs ... Ah! What a great deep chapter! You really make me get lost into my own childhood memories by the "Robert's" point of view.

Lovely and a splendid chapter, that's why I always call you a best writer in the world because your every chapter has made an impact on my mind and of course, grabbed my all attention into the chapters ... and believe me, you didn't show me a chapter but a full movie by the words.

I wish much luck for your success, May you soon get published in your own life!
May your path come fill with allot of opportunities!

100/100! Keep up the great and awesome work!

[Marcy Chavez]

THANK YOU!!
When you said this:
this chapter's again well penned as same as earlier ones. In this chapter i've seen...i've felt something deep because this chapter's just connected with "MEMORIES WHICH ARE UN-CLOSED WOUNDS INTO THE DEPTH OF HIS HEART!
You made my day because that was exactly my goal when I wrote this chapter, and it made me feel like Robert too, I was crying myself!! lol that's why is my favorite so far. And If you felt connected with Robert or he made you feel connected to your old memories then I must be doing something right. And that makes me so glad about writing.
Thanks for your kind wishes and I wish the same to you!!!

Thanks!! :)

[Neon]

Ha@#! Stop giggling me, pretty! Ha!
It's my pleasure beautiful to give ya some pleasure, I just write what I always feel and got from the write after reading ... and am glad you always love my reviews and reply on my reviews because when you do reply .. I feel glad and I feel happy to think that I didn't waste my time in your stuffs because you replied and that means ... You smiled and enjoyed :)
Thanks, beautiful!

Well ... yeah .. your right! Your right! I really felt as same as Robert and it's 100% true that when I'd read your this chapter a few days earlier I really get lost myself into my old memories and I even wrote some emotional stuffs too and that're all saved in my folders indeed.

So, my beautiful one ... keep writing, your the one on the site whose stuffs're my fav. one and your really my here one of the great friend who always take some time replying me :)
So, thanks for your kindness too, pretty! :)